[lightcatcher]

I was wondering if anyone's Ts had admitted that they have transference toward them?
Or have you ever thought your T might have?
I'm not talking about romantic transference here.

I know that I have some feelings of parental transference with T; we have never discussed this. And there have been things T has said that has made me think that they have parental transference towards me. Given our age difference etc I'm not surprised and I don't feel it impacts on our working relationship, if anything I like it.

What are others thoughts?

[pinkbutterfly]

It's fairly common for a T to experience countertransference - which is what you're referring to. However, a T is not supposed to discuss this with their client - they are supposed to talk with a supervisor or colleague about it. The reason for that is because therapy is supposed to be about the client. A T discussing countertransference issues with a client would make it about the T.

[brillskep]

Yes, my T has admitted it once about a particular moment (he said he saw me as a granddaughter in that moment or that he felt like a grandfather to me ... which was interesting since he's not even old enough to be my father). Another time I'm quite certain he acted out his (momentarily negative) transference toward me. He saw what he did as legitimate but I didn't, nor did my close family, nor did other therapists I talked to.

I think he experiences transference with me most of the time on some level, and I with him as well. In my opinion, transference is bound to happen most of the time. However, there's a long way from experiencing it and acting on it. To me, the most important thing is being aware of the transference and using it well. I think it's unrealistic to expect there never to be any transference.

[brillskep]

Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly

It's fairly common for a T to experience countertransference - which is what you're referring to. However, a T is not supposed to discuss this with their client - they are supposed to talk with a supervisor or colleague about it. The reason for that is because therapy is supposed to be about the client. A T discussing countertransference issues with a client would make it about the T.

I wouldn't be so strict about that. Countertransference IS about the client. If it really is countertransference and not something from the therapist's past. It really depends on why a therapist is discussing countertransference in session. Is it to check a hypothesis out with the client, to help understand something for the client's benefit, or just to vent emotions? I agree with you that a therapist needs to take his or her own personal issues out of the therapy room.

[growlithing]

LCM sees me as a daughter. Why is it wrong to discuss countertransference with a client? For me, knowing that I have a mother figure in my life who does also see herself as a mother to me is powerful and wonderful but I guess you could argue that it feeds my own maternal transference. But it helps me frame stuff she does and defines how we interact with each other. She doesn't believe transference is something that needs to be eliminated.

[lightcatcher]

Thanks to all of you! For me I see T as an example of a mother figure that is positive and affirming - one to teach me that what I recieved as a child was not good enough and what is good enough etc.
T has strong boundaries, which I respect as I work in a similar field and have the same with people I work with.
T has never mentioned counter transference, nor stated in anyway she looks at me like a daughter - it's just little things I have picked up.
And it feels nice, nice to know someone cares.

[growlycat]

I see transference and countertransference as inevitable parts of therapy.

[AllyIsHopeful]

She's never admitted and I never bother to ask, but I have my suspicions.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MoxieDoxie]

I think there needs to be a healthy counter transference for the therapeutic alliance and for real healing to happen.

[Favorite Jeans]

My T has said that she felt angry about things I'd told her or protective of me for example. I think T's feelings about me (or things that have happened to me) can be helpful in allowing me to see myself from another perspective. So rather than, for example, seeing my younger self as a gross person as I am wont to do, her countertransference offers me an opportunity to see her as an inexperienced, vulnerable person doing the best she could with limited skills.

[nicoleflynn]

transference/countertransference present in most all relationships (not just therapy).

Former T told me once that he felt like he wanted to rescue me. He's also told me that I brought out "the mother" in him, and that makes him want to nurture me. There were other things...

Yes, it does feel nice to know someone cares.

[AllyIsHopeful]

Oh this brings up another thought that's been lingering for a couple weeks. My T is constantly putting me in the same sentence/thought as her son. Is that considered transference or is that just some other weird stuff going on?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Lamplighter]

I had an instance once of a T telling me that something happening in sessions was down to his countertransference, but I didn't understand it at the time. Later I realized what it was about (he'd been feeling that he had to be the all knowing all seeing therapist because I kept asking all these questions and hassling him about things I needed that he seemed to be missing and so he was constantly interrupting me and giving me lectures and generally coming up with rational/intellectual responses to everything I was saying.)

One session he suddenly said, oh it's countertransference, and for the next couple of sessions he actually modified the way he related to me. Didn't last though, by the third session after that, he was back to opposing and interrupting and acting like the all knowing having answers for everything T again

In retrospect I also realized that he hadn't intended to tell me about the countertrransference, and I do think it's unlikely that a T would normally admit to such.

But maybe there are Ts who are happy to be more 'themselves' ie a real person rather than the cipher of a T, and so are comfortable with sharing how they feel and what they think about what the client is saying and presenting. That too is countertransference of a sort, as someone above said (nicoleflynn) that transference and countertransference occur in every relationship. I tend to agree and think that even a T relationship cannot exist without countertransference. It depends on what T does with or about it, I suppose.

Sorry I'm rambling now...

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by growlithing

LCM sees me as a daughter. Why is it wrong to discuss countertransference with a client? For me, knowing that I have a mother figure in my life who does also see herself as a mother to me is powerful and wonderful but I guess you could argue that it feeds my own maternal transference. But it helps me frame stuff she does and defines how we interact with each other. She doesn't believe transference is something that needs to be eliminated.

I imagine countertranference is present in most relationships between T and client. They discuss with their supervisor, not the client because it is about them and therapy is about you. Also, depending on what the cointertransference is about, it could be misinterpreted or create confusion, etc. It doesn't mean they can't show you that they like you - but that's not transference. If you remind a T of their ex spouse or a family member for example, that is their process to deal with - it doesn't have anything to do with you or your therapy.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I imagine countertranference is present in most relationships between T and client. They discuss with their supervisor, not the client because it is about them and therapy is about you. Also, depending on what the cointertransference is about, it could be misinterpreted or create confusion, etc. It doesn't mean they can't show you that they like you - but that's not transference. If you remind a T of their ex spouse or a family member for example, that is their process to deal with - it doesn't have anything to do with you or your therapy.

That's not necessarily true, and certainly not with many psychoanalytic therapists. My Ts use transference/countertransference as a tool for therapy. The T can also learn about the patient by examining the countertransference. It can very much help them identify enactments as well, and it does have to do with the therapy.

A therapist might choose to tell a patient how they feel around them for many reasons. For one, it can help them identify patterns and provide insights about the patient's interpersonal relationship dynamics.

That my T told me he felt like rescuing me and the discussion that ensued explained a lot about my past relationship dynamics!

afterthought - Lauliza, I think you're really intelligent and really sweet and hope that you don't think i'm picking on you. It's just that I notice you make a lot of definitive, blanket statements about therapy that just are not true as you state them. I realize what you are saying might be what you are being taught and it is probably true for some therapists, but you state things as if they are facts applicable to all therapy.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by skies

That's not necessarily true, and certainly not with many psychoanalytic therapists. My Ts use transference/countertransference as a tool for therapy. The T can also learn about the patient by examining the countertransference. It can very much help them identify enactments as well, and it does have to do with the therapy.

A therapist might choose to tell a patient how they feel around them for many reasons. For one, it can help them identify patterns and provide insights about the patient's interpersonal relationship dynamics.

That my T told me he felt like rescuing me and the discussion that ensued explained a lot about my past relationship dynamics!

afterthought - Lauliza, I think you're really intelligent and really sweet and hope that you don't think i'm picking on you. It's just that I notice you make a lot of definitive, blanket statements about therapy that just are not true as you state them. I realize what you are saying might be what you are being taught and it is probably true for some therapists, but you state things as if they are facts applicable to all therapy.

Sorry if I sound like a know it all, that's not my intention. And I know I am speaking generalities and understand that it is not applicable to certain forms of therapy, especially psychoanalysis. I'm going to be honest and say I rarely consider psychoanalysis when I'm making statements about therapy. These days, at least in the northeast, insurance does not cover traditional psychoanalysis, so it is not commonly used like it once was. In a lot of other therapies, countertransference is usually worked through with the T and their supervisor. A T telling a client how they feel about them can be very helpful. But countertransference is different, and a lot of therapists just don't go into it too deeply. And many clients don't want a T to go there because therapy is suppposed to be about them. Plus, with many therapy benefits being 8-12 sessions a year in some cases, clients just don't have the time.

[Freewilled]

Mine has talked about it but rather vaguely after I pretty much would not let my concerns rest to get some understanding of wtf was going on. For me, if my T is having issues with the way I'm consistently being in session, I feel like I need to know. If I'm acting in a manner that causes issues for my T, he is more likely to terminate. Yeah - he should be able to handle it, but the way I see it, he is human. I did remind him of that fact too....

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

Mine has talked about it but rather vaguely after I pretty much would not let my concerns rest to get some understanding of wtf was going on. For me, if my T is having issues with the way I'm consistently being in session, I feel like I need to know. If I'm acting in a manner that causes issues for my T, he is more likely to terminate. Yeah - he should be able to handle it, but the way I see it, he is human. I did remind him of that fact too....

Mine mentioned something vaguely to me too. My husband and I saw him together when we were considering couples therapy. Afterward my husband felt like my T (psychiatrist really) had it in for him and had attitude. So I told my pdoc at the next session and at first he said no way, that he goes out of his way not to show any bias and even is harder on his patients. The he was quiet and said "but youre probably different". We didn't discuss it any further. Maybe we should have discussed this through, but it didnt feel right to pry, and I don't know that he would have shared too much anyway. He is divorced so I figured something in my situation was affecting him. We've just had an unspoken dynamic in the years since. That may not work for everyone, but for me I think the unspoken is all that's needed.

Thank you kindly, Lauliza, for responding to me. I see where you are coming from. I noticed I've been contradicting things others say lately, and realized here I go again, contradicting one of your posts again. Then I went back and read all the other posts, and saw Brillskep had already said something similar.

I've noticed for years now that blogs and therapy articles (written by experienced therapists) write inaccurate stuff about psychoanalytic therapy or omit the entire field, and I get angry about it sometimes. Sorry that my irritation seeped over here too. I was trying not to be snarky, hope I wasn't...Part of it might be that I am more active here lately, so there are more chances of this happening.

By the way-I think psychoanalysts can use the same billing code as other psychotherapists, so reimbursement doesn't have to be more restrictive than with other types of therapists. At least that is how my prior insurance paid for it, but insurance doesn't need to know if it's "traditional" psychoanalysis or psychoanalytic therapy. Former T billed for a regular therapy sessions weekly, and insurance always paid as many sessions as we did. But as a psychiatrist, he only got paid the same amount as any other therapist, I think. He made much less money doing therapy than medical appointments, but he liked doing therapy better.

haha here I go contradicting something you just said. lol

[Lauliza]

[QUOTE=skies;3682575]
By the way-I think psychoanalysts can use the same billing code as other psychotherapists, so reimbursement doesn't have to be more restrictive than with other types of therapists. At least that is how my prior insurance paid for it, but insurance doesn't need to know if it's "traditional" psychoanalysis or psychoanalytic therapy. Former T billed for a regular therapy sessions weekly, and insurance always paid as many sessions as we did. But as a psychiatrist, he only got paid the same amount as any other therapist, I think. He made much less money doing therapy than medical appointments, but he liked doing therapy better.

haha here I go contradicting something you just said. lol[/QUO

I was thinking the real old school freudian analysis - the kind where clients often go for multiple sessions per week. Otherwise you are right in that how they report it doesn't really reflect what happens in the therapy room. It all depends on the diagnosis in the end, I suppose. :-)

[feralkittymom]

I think it's helpful to remember, too, that there aren't hard and fast boundaries between theories as they function in a session. It's necessary to separate them for the purposes of study, but many overlap and cross-pollinate within a given treatment. Some are more congruous than others. My T certainly didn't practice traditional psychoanalysis, but his psychodynamic approach was largely influenced by psychoanalytic theories, especially Object Relations/Self-Psychology, and he often employed CBT approaches in specific applications. His umbrella perspective was developmental, which worked to shape his conception of treatment and could accommodate a variety of modalities as useful.