This is what I am doing at the moment. I have tried to look up her name in the phone book to get her address and then use Google Street View to look up her address and see if the parked cars outside her house match up with any of the parked cars outside her clinic. So far no luck.

Any other suggestions?

[lostwonder]

I would suggest to drop it. Maybe figure out why you want to know. Maybe ask your T because want to tell you. Might be an interesting conversion.

[RTerroni]

WOW that does seem a little obessive.

I would suggest you stop looking. I suspect she really would rather her clients not be hunting down her personal address.

[Asiablue]

Those street view google images are several years old so there's a big change she might not even have the same car.

I agree that maybe you need to have a conversation with your T about your curiosity and need for more information on her.

[RTerroni]

I don't think it is that much of an issue to know where she lives but to go through great measures to see what her house looks like and then try to look for matching cars I think crosses the line.

[HazelGirl]

I don't think it's wrong to be curious. But you are probably doing something you will regret if you don't already. It's much better to talk to your T about this and why you want to know.

I just want to know. Is there any easy way that I can find out where she lives? I want to know about her life.

[lostwonder]

There is no way to do so without greatly invading her privacy or asking her directly.

[dark_sweetie]

I think it is best to ask yourself why you need to know and maybe try to talk about it with T. Will it change your relationship to know? Wanting things... nobody can help that. Sometimes it is better for us (and a lot more appropriate) to be strong and deny a want than to indulge it. Be honest with yourself... and this is a rhetorical q but... are you in therapy to get better or just because you want to get closer to T? Again, wanting that is not wrong, and you can't help it, but if you don't want to talk about it with her then that is what you need to talk about the most. That urge is also a chance to learn and heal, and I'm positive that T wants to help you do that.

[anilam]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

I just want to know. Is there any easy way that I can find out where she lives? I want to know about her life.

Sure there is- you could ask her, just like you would any other person.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I have experienced the same state of curiosity when I was initially developing a connection with my Therapist. I accidentally stumbled upon her residential information and felt so guilty...but it was attached in some way to her license information so anybody could have found it. I ended up just asking her where she lived and she told me, very specifically. I would suggest doing the same with your T because the potential guilt and shame may turn into very mucky water under the bridge....

Part of relationship...professional, personal, romantic... Is revealing what you are ready to when you are ready. That's part of getting to know somebody in a healthy way. What you are doing is not just a violation of trust. You are cheating yourself out of discovery. Depending on her training and comfort level she may never share much of her personal life. That must be her choice not yours if you are to build a therapeutic relationship.

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[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by Michanne

Part of relationship...professional, personal, romantic... Is revealing what you are ready to when you are ready. That's part of getting to know somebody in a healthy way. What you are doing is not just a violation of trust. You are cheating yourself out of discovery. Depending on her training and comfort level she may never share much of her personal life. That must be her choice not yours if you are to build a therapeutic relationship.

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I agree with this somewhat but not entirely, I do think it crosses the line to go through extraordinary lengths to find out where your Therapist lives, but I have found out other things about my Therapists in the past (such as where they grew up, what activities they like to take part in, among other things) and I don't see any problem doing that and I sometimes think that when you do that and drop in the information later on that it can actually enhance a Therapy relationship.

[Teacake]

Originally Posted by lostwonder

There is no way to do so without greatly invading her privacy or asking her directly.

Except, of course, to check the PHONE BOOK.

[eskielover]

I found out where my first pdoc lived....& that was before google map or the internet. I lived in a fairly large valley, but it was still smaller than the whole large LA area.

Actually knew where my last California psychologist lived because he also practiced out of his house.....& he took one of the american eskimo puppies from Destiny's last litter.....it was good to have found a good home for those puppies (I ended up with one of them....JoGI).

several of the T's I initially went to here all practiced out of their homes...but those who don't....I really don't care about knowing where they live.....but living in a very small town area....I know they live some where in the vicinity.

[Depletion]

As someone who has done this exact behavior I strongly suggest that you try not to do it. And that you talk with your T about your urges intermediately. I have done with both professors and therapists. It is very much an invasion of that person's privacy, and it wont do anything to help you meet the unmet needs that are compelling you to do this. This kind of thing can lead to all out stalking if you are not careful. It is truly a miserable experience. Please try and stop yourself.

[Raging Quiet]

I see t in her home. Even though I walk through her house, I don't take in or remember anything about her actual home, eg her car or contents of her lounge much at all. I literally just run to the room, the same way I did when I saw her in a public therapy practice.

Do you want to find out more about your t through her home?

I wouldn't even go there, Invading your therapist privacy is just wrong.

[someone321]

On the bill which I got there was a private address of my T Of course I googled it to see how her neighborhood looks like and if she has a nice house... But I thought that there shouldn't be her address and that it is weird... Isn't she afraid that some clients might be dangerous or could stalk her?

[AllyIsHopeful]

Originally Posted by someone321

On the bill which I got there was a private address of my T Of course I googled it to see how her neighborhood looks like and if she has a nice house... But I thought that there shouldn't be her address and that it is weird... Isn't she afraid that some clients might be dangerous or could stalk her?

I wonder if she knows? Is it a bill from her? I would be too nervous giving my address out with any profession but especially as a therapist. I thought the same thing when I was looking for my T's licensing info and her personal information was linked to it. I always want to ask her if she knows anyone could see her address online, but I feel sneaky even checking her license validity...like I didn't fully trust her or something.

Originally Posted by RTerroni

I agree with this somewhat but not entirely, I do think it crosses the line to go through extraordinary lengths to find out where your Therapist lives, but I have found out other things about my Therapists in the past (such as where they grew up, what activities they like to take part in, among other things) and I don't see any problem doing that and I sometimes think that when you do that and drop in the information later on that it can actually enhance a Therapy relationship.

I am probably more private in general but that's kind of the point. I wouldn't be concerned but it it would be weird if somebody brought up my background Ina professional relationship. That sort of research and then bringing it up wouldn't enhance a private relationship. Why would it enhance a professional one? There was a post recently about a therapist client who was 180 what her views are. Well, I asked my T about that because I was curious what she thought. We have talked about her kids and husband and town she lives in. It would never occur to me to look up or go to her neighborhood. That just feels like overstepping.

There is one thing though. Her training is to share her experiences in order to teach empathy. Empathic experience involves being able to connect. It's like practicing what you preach. If someone touches her she isn't afraid to cry But the difference is she isn't afraid to say that what triggered her made her uncomfortable. Other t's I (don't) work with keep everything private except for some small generic details. Like hobbies. Having experienced how my T works that other kind of T would be impossible for me to work with them anymore. In fact I tried to explain that to one group T. He kept asking me if I felt empathy and I said the best I could feel from him was sympathy. Since I have pretty good reason to think he didn't respect me I don't think that was really there except on a superficial level. It told me he didn't understand the diff. I don't know if that has anything to do with this desire to use google street view or not. The need for connection?

On the subject of bills. I don't advocate using a personal address or cell phone. It isn't fear. It's more of keeping things clean. In particular a google voice number is a no brainer. Or should be. But not everyone knows or cares.

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[RTerroni]

Well maybe, I just though it was cool to find out that the Therapist who I was seeing for 4 years was a big snowboarding fan because I am as well.

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Well maybe, I just though it was cool to find out that the Therapist who I was seeing for 4 years was a big snowboarding fan because I am as well.

Obviously she is a great T or you wouldn't be with her for 4 years. Have you ever asked her why she didn't share that information? Or was it just something that never came up even for you?

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[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by Michanne

Obviously she is a great T or you wouldn't be with her for 4 years. Have you ever asked her why she didn't share that information? Or was it just something that never came up even for you?

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Well I had brought it up at session before.