Sly things that therapists do, such as chair placement

Reminds me of the Mad Hatter.

[QUOTE=OneWorld;3784945]My T has suggested that we take walks, meet at a park, sit outside, etc. to deal with feeling 'stuck' in the sessions.

My T actually told me that sometimes when I get stuck speaking, he'll suggest we walk, because it helps me speak. I didn't know that....
just fyi....

Yeah, I think it might help, but it makes me nervous.


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Thats it! I love my town - ive seen beat up blue cars with "tardis" painted on the bumper, or the little sign that says, "my other car is a tardis", stuff like that lets you know you are among friends!

I would much rather have my sessions outside, at a park, in the fresh air...etc. WIll it happen? Naw... but that's really nice, OneWorld, that you have that option!

My T has small clocks placed in strategic positions so that he and clients can see what the time is no matter where in the room they sit (so no need to try and sneak a look at the wrist watch without T or the client noticing ). At the same time, because they're small enough, it's easy to ignore the clocks if you don't want to be reminded of the time.

It would take me a long time to spot anything my T gets gets up to.
I knock and let myself in when I get up to leave she stays in her chair.
Apart form a few things changing on the table beside us not much changes or gets changed. Their are two very nice heavy glass ornaments on the floor just tucked under the table that I like. The one near me is broken at the top and the second one which when I first saw it was next to her is now just a few inches away from my one.

To the person who said the room is aired out because the person before you smokes...wow! I didn't know a T would allow that. I'm sure some dont. I'm a smoker, and lemme tell you, that's the first thing I think about when I walk out the door.



I thought it was nice but I really think it's for her as much as it is for me. She has given me option a on scent since she has 2 different febreezes. She has noticed I do not sit back in a relaxed position. I did once an she pointe it out and have yet to do it again. I find to relax makes me not prepared in the event of me needing to protect myself or get out quickly.

My T always has his laptop in front of him on the coffee table between us. I often wonder if he's reading other clients' emails while I'm talking to him. He's probably just using it as a shield...lol

That's not right. Ur payin for a service. U should ask him what he's doing. If it's anything other than notes that is not only rude but distasteful. U pay for a service ur not receiving. U deserve his undivided attention.

My T doesn't take notes in front of me unless it's something he really wants to get to but I say I don't want to talk about it. Her cell goes off sometimes but we both ignore it after she apologizes. It's just about respect. She's gaining respect for not being rude and she gaining trust. I can trust her to an extent right now that she will not force me to hospital. She knows I have SI but nothing very recent. She knows somehow how my brain relates things. She knows I see even thing as either logical or illogical rational or irrational. There is no gray area for these.

Wow, my T did this to me once. I was really confused but didn't say a word. It was so out of character for him. I think this may have been what he was trying to do too. I guess it was a "will you challenge authority test."

I read once that mostly everything a T does and says is for a reason.

[QUOTE=monkeybrains21;3785861]That's not right. Ur payin for a service. U should ask him what he's doing. If it's anything other than notes that is not only rude but distasteful. U pay for a service ur not receiving. U deserve his undivided attention.QUOTE]

My therapy is publicly funded so I feel I shouldn't get so picky if he wants his laptop open in front of him. But you have a good point. I often see his eyes wander to it like he's looking at something and I find that a little distracting. He's also used it to refer to my case history for me and look up articles and stuff like that for me. That's okay because it's part of our session. He also needs it to book my next appointment. He's an excellent T, so I want to think he's not doing anything wrong.

I've wanted to ask him about it, but I'm scared.

My previous T (and maybe the one before that too, I don't remember) took lots of notes because I hate it when I'm misquoted. I choose certain words for a reason, when I say I am frightened she shouldn't write down Breadfish is scared and ask me later on in the session Why are you afraid when I'm not scared or afraid, but frightened!
(Bad example, but I couldn't think of a better one. English is not my mother tongue and thus not the language I use in therapy.)

I don't really care what my T's body language is, but then again, I have Asperger's. I'm not able to interpret it anyways. And I usually stare out of the window, not look at the T.

I always sit in the corner between the walls and the table. When I'm in my wheelchair (which has happened around 5 times with the current T) she moves the table so I can position the wheelchair in my corner. That's really nice of her.

Oh, and with Pdoc, we often have sessions in a room with one round table. The table has one leg and that leg ends in a fairly large round flat thing that's flat on the ground. When I have my foot on that and I'm moving my ankle/leg up and down really quickly, which I do when stressed and sometimes when I'm not stressed, he'll kindly ask me to remove my foot from the tableleg. :-) Because it makes the whole table tremble.

Aaaack! So today he DID get it right! And i just asked him - have you been reading PC??? He said no, but that as he was laying things out, he put the coaster down first, then the Tardis. And he said it really shouldnt matter about the tardis anyway because its a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside

Therapist blog posts about kleenex:

Kleenex in Psychotherapy | Psychology Today

The Tissue Issue: Klein and Kleenex | Psychology Today

Therapy Office Design: Why and How to Provide the Right Setting
Therapists: how do you arrange the clocks in your office? I recently made a change that surprised me. : psychotherapy
Blog | whereapy
Creative Spaces: Inside 25 Counselling & Psychotherapy Rooms - Jodie Gale

From the second article, I thought this was cute.

I think the way individuals characterize the actions and choices of others usually says far more about who they are rather than who they think they are "analyzing" in some way. I think that when therapists think about and make choices about chair placement or kleenex placement or whatever thing they might say targeted towards what they think the client needs in that moment, it may be not so much "sly" or "manipulation" or whatever negative valence someone wants to see it as, but rather a thoughtful and considered approach to facilitate doing the best job they can do. People who go on and on about their suspicions about others and see everything as manipulation make me think that these are prominent in their own relationships and work. Freud wasn't right about everything necessarily being about projection, but it's not always wrong either.

Likewise, do you think that pathologizing or assigning negativity to certain behaviors or frequently stating others' thoughts and conclusions are unreasonable or dysfunctional could possibly say more about the person making those conclusions than that of the person who is thought to have these traits?

Speaking of patterns and conclusions, not trying to be critical of any one view....

"Manipulation" in Therapy | Student Doctor Network

As I tell my students, understanding how people try to manipulate you is an important life skill which is why I work to teach those common methods of manipulation. Awareness is half the battle. At that point, you get to decide whether to succumb to those methods or not.

Equally important: Sometimes a tree is just a tree.

The trick is discernment between the two.

This is gaslighting.

My therapist would disagree with this, as we work on a way, to refer back to the term used below, that facilitates shaping myself. the concept of neutrality, rather than his interference, allows this to unfold.

I see both sides. I'm not sure where I would draw the line between being considerate and trying to create an environment conducive to therapy, and being manipulative. I certainly do think there are therapists who manipulate the client, as I have heard multiple clients say they confronted their therapist about something, and the therapist admitted to behavior that amounts to mind games. I myself sometimes resort to mind games with the therapist I see, but I also push myself to be direct when it matters, and I am also quick to admit what I'm doing if she asks. I am also the client and the only one sharing sensitive, emotional information. If I sensed manipulation occurring on the therapist's end, I would certainly find it difficult not to give as good as I got. Therapists want clients to trust them, and I personally would find it very difficult indeed to have any level of trust in a therapist if they were not direct about their intentions. I think I would feel like it would be necessary to devote more cognitive resources to monitoring them. It would be a huge distraction. I don't constantly analyze the behavior of others, but if I am given a reason to question their motives in relation to me, I think it makes sense that there is a certain level of scrutiny towards their behavior. The only person I can think of having to do this with is my roommate, who is highly passive aggressive.

As for seating arrangements, I think it's usually not a manipulative ploy - at least, I wouldn't characterize it that way. There are times when I think there could be an element of manipulation or covert dominance signaling, but I am also unsure if the therapists themselves are even always aware of what they have done. Regardless, I don't think I'd characterize any of the things in the OP as "sly" except for the client seating being lower. That may have been a coincidence - I say that simply because this is not something I would notice when purchasing furniture, and I doubt I would notice afterwards, either. Part of that may have to do with me being only 5'3, though. If I were the therapist, I probably wouldn't notice as I'd be unlikely to be towering over the client. As a client, I am used to most people being taller than me, so I doubt I'd notice in that case, either. The therapist I see is actually short like me, though. I do wonder if that affected her choice of couch - unlike many couches, I am able to sit on her couch and my feet have no trouble being firmly planted on the floor. I don't have to sit on the edge to make this happen. It's nice not having my legs dangling like a child's.

The other things don't seem like a big deal to me. I personally wouldn't be bothered by seeing tissues in the trash, and it seems silly to empty them after each client, but I seem to recall reading that seeing other clients' used tissues has bothered some people. I once asked the therapist if she moved the chair to make me crazy (I wasn't really serious about the crazy part), and she said she sometimes needs to move it to get into her file cabinet - so it may shift slightly from time to time.

ROFL... I think Every Single Thing in T’s office is strategic... to make clients comfortable. None of it feels manipulative and if you ask he will tell you. If something bothers you he will move it. He and the client sit in the same kind of movable office chair. Pay at the end by his desk with the professional type chair and the matching couch. Tissues are everywhere. Every picture has meaning. He usually sits facing the client with a window behind them that overlooks a beautiful park... you can’t see it clearly enough to get distracted... just enough to remind himself he is working towards you having a beautiful life outside/beyond his office. His paperwork area is barely in sight, just enough to remind him you are a client. All the pictures have meaning. He warns me when we get about ten minutes left because he knows I get anxious about time. He ends the session several ways depending on how vulnerable I am feeling or what we were doing. He goes up into the office first but it is specifically so that I can have control over closing the door and not feeling trapped. Sometimes he walks me out, sometimes not... sometimes he will go first sometimes he lets me go first. There are ultimately 6 kinds of chairs/places to sit not including the floor which he would totally do depending on what makes you feel most comfortable. I may be the eternal optimist with him but it is like everything in his office is placed for the clients comfort. There is one picture that symbolically represents his clients, one “family” picture but it is very old and then 4 other pictures all symbolic to him... but set up in a place to empower his clients through their meaning to him.
He laughs when I call him out on them... he gave up trying to act surprized or innocent the second session. But he only did that because he was (rightfully) worried that if I knew he was trying to get me relaxed I would feel trapped and scared.