[JaneC]

The last 2 nights I have started sleeping with my son's teddy bear. One I got for him before he was born and he has slept with every night since. Until now.

I wake up from dreams, awful dreams, clutching it like my life depends on it. Is it weird? What does it mean? What can it mean? It is so out of character for me!

Whats more, my son comes back form his dad's house tomorrow night and I don't think I want to give it back to him!!! (Oh now that just sounds so nuts, I am feeling really embarrassed about this, but really want some feedback please)

[someone321]

As I child I had many many teddy bears in my bed so everyone was laughing that there was not enough space for me I guess, I just imagined that they can protect me? Who knows... Now I still have some teddy bears (I guess I even got one from my mother-in-law) and usually they are somewhere close to the bed (either in or under ). When I have a terrible nightmare, usually I just stick to my H but sometimes I just grab a teddy bear and hug it I don't know what it means, maybe just that we like teddy bears? Probably not but somehow I do not think that it is anything extremely extraordinary...

[JaneC]

I'm sure it's not extraordinary, but for me is quite unusual. I don't remember having teddy bears or soft toys as a child....I don't remember much from that time. Just being tucked into bed very tightly so I could almost not move, but alone, no teddys....... weird.

[JustShakey]

I'd love to get some insight on this one too. Lately I've taken to sleeping with a blankie. I had one of my kid's stuffed animals for a while, but I'm happier with the blankie. It's a hand-knit lap blanket that I made myself. Somehow it feels better that I made it myself too...
Anyhoo, like you say, weird... I suppose I'm taking care of my inner child...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[blur]

when i was in adult children of alcoholics once in a blue moon someone would bring a stuffed teddy bear with them to the meeting and they would sit it on their lap the whole time. i think it was something about inner child work, comforting the inner child i guess.

i used to get tucked into bed super tight too. i liked it because then it took 2 seconds to make the bed the next morning as i just wiggled out the top, lol. i had lots of stuffed animals but no teddy bear.

[withoutthelove_]

I don't think it's weird. Maybe your subconsciously trying to comfort or protect yourself from these bad dreams?
I think teddy bears or blankies can be really soothing and comforting for us; I wish I had one.

[healingme4me]

How long has your son been gone? I don't find it weird, at all. Just left wondering about the pain of your divorce, things like that, creating the dreams, need for feeling close and connected.

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[Vanes1982]

Is it possible to purchase another teddy bear? That way your son won t have to do without his and a new teddy will probably means that those ''bad dreams'' might disappear.

My therapist once gave me a teddy bear a a TO. It didn't feel right, so I gave it back to her a few days later.m I do have a silk cloth my therapist gave me from a mama drama we did together. It became my security blanket. It was in my car. I use to sleep with it, use it on the airplanes as a pillow, and take it on all vacations, or overnights. I would even take it to therapy when I knew I was going to fight getting comfort from her. A few weeks ago, I was telling a friend about my blanket. It's about the size of a queen comforter., and it was telling her I realized I hadn't used it in 3-4 months. She was surprised that I had it and laughed about it, not meanly. I was not embarrassed or ashamed. I was never aloud to have TO when I was a kid.

A lot of family is coming from across country on Wed. I had a major project that I blew off, and was sleeping too much and eating too much, and took off on a bunch of many vacations. Well I retrieved my blanket from the closet, and got my project done, and sent an email to my ex therapist about the FOO grumblings even before they've gotten here. She gave me a helpful response. So thank you FM, and thank you blanket.

So, It's not weird at all. I don't know how old your kiddo is, but maybe he'll let you borrow it a bit longer. My teen kid just knew what I was up to, and did ask why I had it in the airport. "The airline only provides free blankets in first class.

Good luck in holding onto it.

[AllyIsHopeful]

It sounds like it was a way of connecting with your son while he was gone. It makes you feel better and more secure, that isn't weird at all.

I also wonder if buying another bear would help at all. What do you think?

[JaneC]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

How long has your son been gone? I don't find it weird, at all. Just left wondering about the pain of your divorce, things like that, creating the dreams, need for feeling close and connected.

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

Oh, my son lives half the time with me and the other half with his dad. This is not about that for sure.

I actually wonder if this has something to do with the really difficult session last week with my T, he talked about parts stuff that confused and stressed me out. I didn't know why, still don't.

Maybe it is something to do with taking care of the inner child? Ugh, that feels wrong and I don't know why.

withoutthelove.....maybe you have something there, about subconsciously comforting and protecting from dreams. I certainly remember feeling a little better on waking once I realised I was holding the monkey. lol, yep it's a monkey. So cute.

[sweepy62]

Its possible you are self soothing, a need or a want, I have a safety blanket at bedtime, even in the summer, even when its very hot outside, my h cant understand it, I also have a stuffed animal on my night table, I have many stuffed animals. Its not abnormal, maybe out of character for you, but , maybe your (inner child) if you believe in that, ( i really have a hard time grasping the whole idea on the inner child) but if you do, then maybe its trying to tell you something . Hugs.

[JaneC]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

It sounds like it was a way of connecting with your son while he was gone. It makes you feel better and more secure, that isn't weird at all.

I also wonder if buying another bear would help at all. What do you think?

Maybe it is, I always feel safer somehow when my boy is at home, half the week without him all the time is a little sad for me.....but it's the best for him.

[JaneC]

Thanks for all the replies, it is really helpful.

Sweepy, I'm not sure the inner child, or other parts, theory sits well with me either. It definitely stressed me out when T brought it up last Friday. I guess maybe for whatever reason it might be ok to feel comforted this way? I am just so not used to comforting myself or taking care of myself like that....weird and ikky is how it feels, wrong somehow. I am not puting down what others do, because what you say for yourselves makes complete and utter sense. But comfort for me? Not allowed....... sigh

Originally Posted by JaneC

Thanks for all the replies, it is really helpful.

Sweepy, I'm not sure the inner child, or other parts, theory sits well with me either. It definitely stressed me out when T brought it up last Friday. I guess maybe for whatever reason it might be ok to feel comforted this way? I am just so not used to comforting myself or taking care of myself like that....weird and ikky is how it feels, wrong somehow. I am not puting down what others do, because what you say for yourselves makes complete and utter sense. But comfort for me? Not allowed....... sigh

I can certainly relate to that. Self-soothing was not aloud as a child in my house. No pacifier, thumb, blankie... The inner child talk did not sit well with me. When I was in therapy I would often tell my therapist I wanted to be a grown up in her office. She said I could, but it kept coming in as a wounded child. One day I did come in very adult, and that's when I started my avoidance phase in therapy. It was not pretty, just very lonely. I didn't need or want anything or anyone else. I was an island unto myself. The kid stuff was all very shaming for a while. Now, that I understand it it is very seldom embarrassing. The adult you will eventually be able to take care of her. And it sounds like your son's teddybear is a good start.

I sleep with a teddy bear every night! I just got it back in March I think it was, I went to a Shamanic Soul Care workshop and each of us got a teddy bear that we used to represent our "Soul" and we did a ritual to care for our "soul bears" the idea behind it was that we are always rushing around, taking care of everybody else, but not ourselves, so we slowed down for a bit and let the teddy bears be stand-ins for our selves/souls, and the facilitator had a bunch of little things like marbles (to represent fun), seeds (to represent growth), little hearts (to remember love!) little stuff like that representing different things and we each gathered to us whatever pieces we chose and put them in a little cloth that we tied up and put on our bears like a little backpack. It was a very powerful evening. I took the 'backpack' off and put it in my memory box, and sleep with the teddy bear every night now. It's my "soul bear" and I talk to it too sometimes as I'm going to sleep at night. <giggle> teddy bears ROCK!