[purplemoon]

Have you called or emailed your T between sessions. I am thinking about calling or emailing mine but I don't want to overstep the boundries. It isn't really an emergency, I am just feeling very hurt and confused and would like some advice. My appointment is on Thursday. I like my T very much and don't want to make him angry or upset.

Thank you.

[Perna]

I use to write mine letters or send cards. It was fun finding cards to "fit" what I was trying to express or feeling and made me feel like I was helping myself too with the physical going out and getting or mailing. When I mailed them I could imagine my T getting the letter and reading it. It really helped when she was away on vacation for several weeks at a time. I didn't feel "guilty" or like it was too much of an imposition since they could technically just throw the letters away in the trash/not read them/read them when they had time, etc.

Several times I've sent articles to my T that have been helpful to me. I've sent her some of the things I've written about what my symptoms are when manic or depressed & what my triggers are.

When I had a bad experience in Aug. (overdose) I wrote to her about it before I went in to see her. I was afraid that if I had to explain the whole episode verbally I'd just start crying. Sometimes I can express myself better when writing. She appreciated getting the info. in advance of my appt. so she knew "where I was at."

I have also called when a depression or mania hit to see if I should come in before my next appt. I call my pdoc as well when that occurs as she will most likely adjust my meds. I have signed a consent for them to speak to each other about me & that has been very helpful, too. Sometimes my T will recognize that I'm heading into a depression & will call & make an appt. with my pdoc for me cuz sometimes when I feel so down I don't want to "bother" anyone. I don't feel like I should take up anyone's time.

Sorry to go off on a few tangents here. I say "yes" to communicating with your T by e-mail or letter or voice mail.--Suzy

[sunrise]

purplemoon, the only reason I have ever called is to cancel or reschedule an appointment. I have a strong fear of rejection and would not open myself up to the risk that my T might reject my calls outside of the therapy session that I pay for. I did ask early on for an e-mail address, intending to use it only for scheduling appointments and such, but he told me he doesn't give it out.

[PlanningtoLive]

My T and I correspond all the time with emails between appts. Sometimes it is easier to be able to write it all out at the time rather than waiting till your appt.

I don't think it would upset your T. Good luck.

[bipolar_bear]

Therapists set their boundaries as it works for them. Some don't mind contact inbetween while others don't approve. I would suggest talking to your therapist when you see them on Thursday and see what their policy is.

[okiedokie]

We have to remember that therapists are people too. If you "over-communicate" your T will let you know. Some Ts charge for telephone calls inbetween appts so you might ask about that too.
Okie

[Lucinda]

Mine has a no contact policy between sessions. Best you check first

Lucy

Therapists tend to differ on their outside scheduled hours contact policy. Sometimes it is about what other committments they have as well (with children and being in a session with another client and stuff like that).

Mine hasn't talked to me about this at all. I have his office number for both of the places he works. I don't know which day he works where, however. If I called I'd get a secretary and I'd have to leave a message for him to get back to me.

I would do that in the case of an emergency. I wouldn't do it if it wasn't an emergency without checking with him first, however. I don't think he would if it wasn't an emergency. I have had therapists in the past who were okay with it. One used to call me during the week briefly when I was feeling particularly fragile just to check in with me.

I'd ask your t next time you see them.

But but but...

You could call and say 'this isn't an emergency but I've been feeling fragile is it okay if I talk to you for five minutes or so?' Then your t knows up front why you are calling and how long your are wanting to talk to them for and they can decide. (Five minutes can easily become 10 or 15 but you should be sensitive to their wanting / needing to get off the phone). If they say 'no' then either they are busy or that is their general policy, if they are happy to talk to you then that is okay :-)

I'm fairly sure that would be appropriate (if you only call numbers they have given you / they know you have) and you call during normal waking hours (preferably avoiding meal times) etc.

I've emailed some... I love email. I mean I LOVE email. I still email a couple of my old t's actually... That is pretty cool :-) Not very often but occasionally. Used to email a couple p-doc's too. Had some terrific discussions via email... Once they get a hang of how to take parts and quote them...

It can be a great way to have a dialogue IMHO better than RL

[purplemoon]

Thank you guys so much for responding. I am feeling a little better today. I went home and slept after work yesterday and then got up and journaled some and then prayed alot. My appointment with T is thursday. I am going to try and work up the courage to ask him when he would consider it appropiate for me to contact him between sessions and also if it is alright to email him. Alexandra - I think I would rather email - it might make it easier to say things. I always have a ton of things I want to ask or say but I never can get it out. I haven't tried it yet but I thought about it - I noticed his email address on his business card. I appreciate all your input.

[Perna]

Purplemoon, you could always email him to ask if it would be all right to email him :-) That wouldn't risk a whole lot/couldn't bother him since he's never said anything about it yet and has his email address on his card and would get the question out of the way?

[purplemoon]

Perna that is a great idea. Now if I can just work up the courage to go ahead and send the email. I get stuck with this kind of stuff, I want to but am afraid to. I just worry that if I overstep his boundries he will fire me. Would a T do that. I always worry that he won't see me any longer and I need him so much. I hate being this needy!!

Thanks

[Perna]

His "known" boundary (his business card) has his email address on it so it would be unreasonable of him to declare its use "off-limits" and a boundary violation. Don't think a T would be that unreasonable :-)

Another way I like to look at it is that I'm a "wimp" and he knows it so is probably going to be "happy" if I take any action at all and know that, since I'm scared, I'm not going to do that action very often since it's so hard for me?

[purplemoon]

Exellent Perna. You are so right. I am a total wimp and he definetly knows that. A few months ago I was going through major crisis' and he was going out of town for several days so he gave me his cell phone and told me that if I need to call him that I could use that number. Of course I didn't and he called when he came back to town to see if I was holding up and a few times after that ( I have had severl crisis') I called and left him voicemail on his office phone - they were definetly emergencies though and he called me back. I think I am starting to muster up some courage. Thank you so much Perna!!

[(JD)]

If you need to, do so. Let the T deal with any changes he might want to make later with regards to contact. As he has it now, it appears he can handle it just fine... and wouldn't offer it unless he could...

He knows you're struggling... why not call earlier rather than later? He may be able to help keep you from another severe crises.

[purplemoon]

Thank you Sky.

[Perna]

My T was forever trying to refer me/give me an emergency number when she went away and I'd never take it. In 20+ years I remember calling her only twice when I was having extreme difficulties. She always listened and tried to soothe a bit but mostly told me we'd talk about it at the next session :-)