[jacq10]

It was really weird

I feel like i'm just spinning in circles and going no wheres with this. She keeps asking me what i think will benefit me with coming to see her this semester, and what i want to work on ..... i got nothing Its like i can't even think ... I can't pinpoint WHY i'm upset, i'm just complaining and this is pointless.

She brought up SI again .... I'm so ashamed. I can't even talk about it without turning bright red. But i guess i still can't even talk about much anyways.
I wish i knew where this was going .... or at least what the heck is wrong with me

[Soidhonia]

Hello Jacq. Have you thought about seeing another Dr that understands SI and your confusion? I dont usually suggest getting another Dr but in your case I feel that it may be necessary to get the help you need. There are many programs in the County that are free and medicaiton is Free and I feel strongly that if you are this confused and your therapist is wanting you to participate and you are drownding in confusion, then you need to see a more qualified counselor for your benefit. I hope the best for you, journaling may help you tremendously sort out your feelings as well. Let us know what happens. Soidhonia

[Perna]

I'd do some thinking on my own, maybe make a list of things that bother you about yourself that you might want to "work on?" I often found it hard when I was with my T to figure things out at first because I was so anxious. But I found I was pretty good at working on things between sessions (and reporting what I was working on -- just had to work on making it so I did things during sessions with my T and not only away from them and reporting them second-hand).

Start with "easy" things. Do you do your schoolwork on time, study well for exams, etc.? Get along with classmates, talk with them okay (or are you too shy). Sometimes for me, working on concrete things that I can see and "understand" helps give me confidence with things that are more subjective and about feelings. Thinking about how I feel about my studies would be a bit easier to discuss than thinking about myself and another (my T) and what I want to work on in a "global"/non-specific sense. Figure out a little heirarchy of things to talk about getting more and more subjective.

Hey. Have you heard of DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy)? It might be worth finding out if there is a program you could do in your region.

Alternatively... Could you ask your t if she has heard of DBT? If she has then maybe you could ask her if you can do that :-) If she hasn't then maybe you could ask her to find out about it because you would like to do that :-) The great thing about DBT is that you don't have to come up with treatment goals. They are all there and nice and provided. They aren't so terribly offensive... And the structure / provide the direction for the sessions because it sounds like your therapist is feeling a little lost...

My biggest hate is clinician's asking me 'what do you want to work on and how do you think I can help'.

(Car headlights on me and no matter what I say I'm about to be splattered).

Sounds to me that what you need is a therapist to take a little more of the direction and kind of say to themself 'well gee SI isn't such an adaptive thing to be doing this person must feel really very distressed at times'

What more to they need to know?

Sorry... I could have a grumble / gripe at this point. Because... This is reminding me of many years of struggles that I've had with therapists...

You aren't just pointless complaining...

Sounds like you feel really upset / ashamed / distressed at times :-(

> I wish i knew where this was going .... or at least what the heck is wrong with me

Maybe...
(maybe i'm projecting)
But maybe...

You just want someone to walk with you for a while?

If she doesn't get that then...

But then I'm really rather terrible at communication :-(

[jacq10]

((((((((((((((((((Soidhonia)))))))))))))) - Thanks so much for taking the time to read/respond to my post. I actually have been debating about getting another T for the past little while ... only thing is that i don't want to have to start everything all over again, and even if she were able to give my next one notes, it takes me a really long time to be even remotely comfortable with someone (not that i am with her) and i think its just easier to try and figure something out with this one. We'll see though ...

((((((((((((((Perna))))))))))))) - Thanks for the tips, i will keep those in mind. I think i'm the most productive in between my sessions too so i'll try and work on coming up with a list of things so to speak.

(((((((((((((Alexandra_k))))))))))) I have heard of DBT before, but i've never really looked into it that much so thats something that i might try out. And you are completely right about me needing her to be more directional because most of the time i dont know how to answer her questions and then i feel even more dumb ..

[Christina86]

(((((((((Jacq)))))))))))



Having your T ask you what you want to work on, or what you hope to gain is a tough question - even worse when they think or say you're not making very much progress.

Nothing is wrong with you, everyone has problems. You're just one of the few who actually admits it and asks for help - nothing wrong with that at all.

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((Canders))))))))))))))

Thanks dear :herat_spin: