[sweepy62]

Nature and nurture in therapy. My t was asking me if I believe this theory.

Basically she explains that nature is like genes ect

Nurture Is empathy a healthy attachment .

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[growlycat]

Yes, Main T has discussed this. Sometimes, you can be predisposed to mental illness but it is the environment/social situation that can bring it full force or not.

He has also discussed temperament mismatches between mother and child.

[CantExplain]

Not explicitly. But I would bet that Madame T discounts nature and emphasises nurture. Mr T seems to accept that there are some things that a therapist can't change.

Yep mine has

[JaneC]

Hah! I have to take the nature side of a Nature v Nurture debate next week. My T got excited when I told him and he began offering books for me to read, especially about attachement....... gasp!

Funny that your T would ask you if you believe in that theory. As a discussion there is really no right or wrong imho, both sides can help to inform you as to the origins of your emotions/behaviours etc.

I'd ask my T back.....well do you? If so which and why? Please explain! lol

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Not explicitly. But I would bet that Madame T discounts nature and emphasises nurture. Mr T seems to accept that there are some things that a therapist can't change.

wow i had never heard of it, she explained it, and asked my oppinion if i agreed with it, because she knows i have problems with the whole inner child thing.

[HazelGirl]

I think both influence us greatly, but that nurture and how we are raised has a much larger effect than nature and what we are born with.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by JaneC

Hah! I have to take the nature side of a Nature v Nurture debate next week. My T got excited when I told him and he began offering books for me to read, especially about attachement....... gasp!

Funny that your T would ask you if you believe in that theory. As a discussion there is really no right or wrong imho, both sides can help to inform you as to the origins of your emotions/behaviours etc.

I'd ask my T back.....well do you? If so which and why? Please explain! lol

She believes that nurture is very important for a healthy attachment, but I will ask her, she is very big on the nurture thing, it is funny she mentioned the nature vs nurture, I guess because we are talking about how I grew up . I love challenges so this one is going to be good, I didnt even know they had books, I am so interested now to read a good book on this.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I think both influence us greatly, but that nurture and how we are raised has a much larger effect than nature and what we are born with.

Yes my t agrees 100 percent with what you just said, I suppose that will be a topic from now on, we are going to talk about how I grew up what I was taught and nurturing and all that stuff, before csa stuff, like i said she delayed the exposure, as she said it is not time yet. I have a hard time grasping the whole inner child thing, and once I told her, that just because you didnt get hugged as a kid, doesnt have anything to do with how I am now, I said that because I didnt want to act like a whiny adult who was not hugged as a kid.

[stopdog]

I think all sorts of things go into how a person is - birth order, number of siblings, other external factors (premature babies who spend the first months in an incubator not being held for example) besides parents - as well as basic personality. - One baby wanting to be held a lot and the other baby not as much. I would not see it as one or the other but how nurturing worked with the personality (nature) of that specific person.

[InnerBadPlace]

Hi everyone. I don't post much, so I hope you don't mind me jumping in, but this is a subject I have strong views on, so here goes.
I strongly dispute the effects of childhood experiences as the cause of BPD or any other mental disorder. I am not a physiatrist, but speak from the real life experiences of bearing and raising 3 very different children. My BPD daughter (38) was my firstborn. A longed for, beautiful, intelligent baby girl who was and is loved and adored. My second-born is a boy (35) with Asperger’s Syndrome, equally loved. My third child, a girl, is a beautiful, clever and popular person (just married) who could confidently be referred to as ‘normal’. All the children have the same parentage. All the children had the same love and attention and experienced the same ups and downs, including some unsettling periods.
My eldest two children were always ‘difficult’ kids, but in different ways. At the time, I admit, I used to wonder if it was me as a parent, whether I was doing it all wrong. Was I being too strict, or was I too lenient? People all had their own opinions and solutions, but this was in the days when it was ALWAYS the parents fault (a bit like no bad dogs – just bad owners).
Childhood conditions such as ADAH etc were only in the early stages of being recognised.
I certainly don’t claim to be the perfect parent. All I know is that I loved (and love) my children very much, have always been there for them and would do anything to make each of them happy.
I’m not suggesting that childhood experiences, especially, I suspect, sexual abuse would not have a devastating effect on a person, but how does the ‘world of psychology’ explain the fact that many of these people go on to live productive, loving and empathetic lives using their experiences to ensure no child of theirs will ever suffer such a nightmare.
I am convinced that many, many hours in therapists offices are wasted by digging up and raking through old memories which they can then conveniently attribute to the patients problems. This then arms the patient with myriad reasons/excuses to carry on the way they are because ‘all of this has been done to me. I’m not responsible for my actions’. I agree that counselling for traumatic events and therapy for certain personality deficiencies is necessary and effective, but do not believe it possible to be effective with disorders such as BPD, unless it is also effective against illnesses such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease (hmm).
I suggest no-one trains for a career in psychology before producing 3/4 offspring with the same partner and watching them grow up. Granted, there would be scant few ‘professionals’ around.
Realistically, I would urge the huge revenue invested in the ‘therapy’ industry be targeted toward immediate and extensive research into brain function re personality disorders to establish true cause as a base to then exploring effective treatments.
These are my beliefs. I don’t have diplomas on the wall or a slick office with a leather couch, just 3 kids, 3 grandkids, and 61 years first-hand experience.

[sweepy62]

Hi, dont worry about jumping in, I appreciate your oppinions, thats why I posted this thread, all oppinions are welcomed, there is no wrong or right its your oppinion as to how you feel about my question. My t asked me this, I myself have a csa history and many other mental issues, I had never heard of the nature vs nurture theory. I didnt have the pleasure of growing up in a healthy enviornment as you describe above. I do differ though when it comes to therapy, and talking about the past with a safe person, if only to release all the negative feelings buried deep withing you just to process them and move on, not to place blame or use it as a crutch to move on in ones life to be successful.

Therapy is helping me to find some sort of logic to all the devastation in my childhood which has affected my adulthood in so many ways. I respect your oppinions stated above, that a parent sometimes is not to blame for a childs issues later in life, a child may have the healthiest relationship with the parent, and still have behavioral issues and personality disorders, but I am not a doctor , so I cant explain why that happens. Thanks for posting.

[HazelGirl]

InnerBadPlace,

I think your story illustrates perfectly the fact that it is both. No, not all disorders are caused by childhood problems. And I think most, if not all, can be caused by either/or or a combination of both.

Why do some kids who come from really messed up backgrounds end up being normal? It's genetics, the "nature" aspect of things. Why do some who come from great backgrounds end up having a lot of troubles? That's also the "nature" aspect. But there's also a vast majority of people who struggle because of their experiences, or at least their experiences make their struggles much, much worse. And that's the "nurture" aspect.

[growlycat]

You can have good parents but there are others in a child's life that can do harm too. Just something to consider.