[HazelGirl]

Oh my god. I hate talking about trauma.

I just really needed to say that. Just ugh. I feel so anxious and hyper-alert. My mind is on hyperarousal and I haven't been able to sleep well in a few weeks. Ugh.

[Leah123]

Awe, I'm sorry. It is hellish. Really sucks to have past events that require talking about again to work through.

Hope you can find something to help you rest and sleep better soon.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with it. I concur, talking about it can suck. Not talking about it can suck. Trauma in general just sucks actually... (Hugs)

[Tongalee]

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. I wonder, if it's not too invasive to ask and if it doesn't feel right please don't feel obligated to answer, but I'm also talking through some trauma right now and am having concerns over what to actually say. What is too much, what is essential to know, and what will be beneficial for me to say out loud to another person. I'm sure this will vary depending on the person and situation, but I wonder if you have any advice/insight on this.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. I wonder, if it's not too invasive to ask and if it doesn't feel right please don't feel obligated to answer, but I'm also talking through some trauma right now and am having concerns over what to actually say. What is too much, what is essential to know, and what will be beneficial for me to say out loud to another person. I'm sure this will vary depending on the person and situation, but I wonder if you have any advice/insight on this.

Say everything you want and are able to say. There's no such thing as "too much". But make sure you're not overwhelming yourself in the process. Your T can help you manage when you're feeling overwhelmed. But there's nothing that you should feel is "inappropriate" or too much detail to share.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

Talking about trauma helped me realize how harmful my silence had been, for years and years. After awhile, I truly felt (didn't just "know") that the scariest thing was experiencing the trauma when I was a child, and talking about it as an adult was overcoming it, taking the power out of that experience and helping me move forward without being trapped in my past. Being able to talk about it from my adult place, with compassion for the child I was, was what has healed me more than anything else. With the recognition that I am still a work in progress.

From where I sit, you are doing one of the most courageous acts that a person can, and the reward will be a kind of sweet freedom. It takes awhile to get there, though.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by ListenMoreTalkLess

Talking about trauma helped me realize how harmful my silence had been, for years and years. After awhile, I truly felt (didn't just "know") that the scariest thing was experiencing the trauma when I was a child, and talking about it as an adult was overcoming it, taking the power out of that experience and helping me move forward without being trapped in my past. Being able to talk about it from my adult place, with compassion for the child I was, was what has healed me more than anything else. With the recognition that I am still a work in progress.

From where I sit, you are doing one of the most courageous acts that a person can, and the reward will be a kind of sweet freedom. It takes awhile to get there, though.

It is so hard. So immensely hard to go against that "silence". The fear of saying something and the confusion of exactly what to say, mixing up what is healthy with what is "normal". And feeling so defective and overly sensitive when I was hurt by it. Thinking something was wrong with me because I could never be good enough, no matter how much I tried and the fear that I will never get it right. Feeling like a constant failure, and like the people around me were ashamed of who I was because I wasn't good enough. The fear of being even a small inconvenience, not knowing what the consequences might be, from mild irritation to rage to calculated punishment and retribution for the "wrong" I did.

Yeah, it's terrifying to tell someone else and wonder whether they will see me the same way.

[liveinspired]

It definitely is hard.

Sometimes I can focus and talk about it. It's still hard to talk through, but being able to focus enough is success in my eyes.

Other days I'm so out of focus and I am too squirrelly to talk about it. I get so frustrated with myself when this happens.

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Oh my god. I hate talking about trauma.

Me too. It's really draining. Sometimes I think I was better off just living in denial. Hopefully it gets better for you soon.

[Tongalee]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Say everything you want and are able to say. There's no such thing as "too much". But make sure you're not overwhelming yourself in the process. Your T can help you manage when you're feeling overwhelmed. But there's nothing that you should feel is "inappropriate" or too much detail to share.

It's really hard to think this is true, though I know you're right. I know that, well I think that, I can handle talking about it, but I don't want to overwhelm her. How do I trust that she can and will be ok?

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

It's really hard to think this is true, though I know you're right. I know that, well I think that, I can handle talking about it, but I don't want to overwhelm her. How do I trust that she can and will be ok?

That just takes time. Share one thing at a time, and over time, you will learn that she is trustworthy. But it takes risking little bits at a time.

[someone321]

I don't know why but I... "like" talking to my T about trauma... After each session I calm myself down so that I don't think about it every single minute but from the day before a session I start being more and more excited and just think what I will say, which topic I'll bite, will it be meaningful for me? etc. I guess, I'm just totally crazy

[someone321]

Originally Posted by Tongalee

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. I wonder, if it's not too invasive to ask and if it doesn't feel right please don't feel obligated to answer, but I'm also talking through some trauma right now and am having concerns over what to actually say. What is too much, what is essential to know, and what will be beneficial for me to say out loud to another person. I'm sure this will vary depending on the person and situation, but I wonder if you have any advice/insight on this.

I agree with HazelGirl that you can say as much as you want and you don't have to worry that something might be too much for your T or might be not necessarily for T to be able to understand you. However, I'd like to add the based on my experience it is not so good to just say everything in one time... I thought that okay, it will be bad when I say something so maybe if I just say everything in one session with the worst details, I'll have it behind me so "the healing" (I'm not the biggest fan of this word) will happen faster... And that was a very big mistake... It did overwhelm my T but more important, it had a terrible impact on me... Thus, I'd recommend saying as much as you want but step by step - see the reaction, wait, say something more - in my case I know if I didn't say too much based on my feelings after the session...

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by someone321

I don't know why but I... "like" talking to my T about trauma... After each session I calm myself down so that I don't think about it every single minute but from the day before a session I start being more and more excited and just think what I will say, which topic I'll bite, will it be meaningful for me? etc. I guess, I'm just totally crazy

Yeah, that's a little weird.

But I guess, in a way, I like talking about it, too. I guess mostly because I finally can. It doesn't have to be a secret anymore. And that part is a huge relief.