[HazelGirl]

I am working on a list of coping mechanisms/distraction techniques/grounding tools for when I feel overwhelmed, anxious, or can't tolerate my emotions well. Often this leads to self-hate, feelings of rejection, extreme anxiety, dissociation, or other not fun effects. So I am trying to come up with a list of things I can do to distract myself and reduce these negative emotions. I have 33 so far, and would like more ideas from y'all.

1. Make a healthy snack
2. Make a cup of tea
3. Read a book
4. Pray
5. Journal
6. Deep breathing
7. Progressive muscle relaxation
8. Guided imagery
9. Listen to music and sing along
10. Go for a drive
11. Play video games
12. Paint or draw
13. Exercise
14. Plan for youth group on Sundays
15. Send a text to a friend saying hi
16. Clean or organize the house
17. Look up inspirational quotes
18. Meditate on or memorize a section of Scripture
19. Purchase a small thing for myself ($5 or less)
20. Study Spanish
21. Write poetry
22. Go ice skating
23. Make a gift for someone
24. Watch a movie or TV show
25. Wash/dry the dishes
26. Rearrange furniture
27. Learn something new on Wikipedia
28. Find a new craft to do on Pinterest
29. Find some jokes or watch a comedian online
30. Go swimming at the pool
31. Go explore and see what you can find outside
32. Take a nap
33. Take a shower or bath

[nottrustin]

crossword puzzles/ word searches
color (sounds odd but many of our patients find it very relaxing)
go for a walk
play solitaire or other type card games
Send an "I love you" or "Thank you" type card to somebody you love
go to the library
go to a high school sports game/ play etc in your area
call a friend or loved one
go to a second hand store (goodwill or salvation army type place) and see what treasures you can find.
look for funny videos on youtube

[stopdog]

Walk the dogs
Smoke hookah
Hack electronics
Polish shoes
Treat leather products
Play bridge with others
Watch opera
Play renaissance instruments
Read plays aloud with friends

gardening/pot herbs
massage
give yourself a pedicure
cook or bake
take up photography
start collecting antiques or something
sex

[growlycat]

play with the cat!
volunteer
play with kids
play with puppies

[HazelGirl]

These are great!

Anyone have any others?

[growlycat]

make easter eggs even if it isn't easter
go into a candle store and smell every one--guess the scents
sleep in a hammock
break something (like ceramic plates for a tile project)

[iheartjacques]

Read trashy novel
Watch True Blood (on DVDs)
Have a long, hot bubble bath
Read in bed
Walk with the dog.
I can't do these right when I'm really mad and upset, but when I'm starting to calm down, this is what I do to try and stabilise myself.

Look at the big picture.

[unaluna]

Hand-sew something, like hemming pants, or embroidery. I find the repetitive motion very comforting.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Vision:
Light candles and watch the flame.
Look at nature around you.
Go out in the middle of the night and watch the stars.
Be mindful of each sight that passes in front of you, not lingering on anything.

Hearing:
Listen to beautiful or soothing music, or to invigorating and exciting music.
Relaxation tapes.
Be mindful of any sounds that come your way, letting them go in one ear and out the other.
Sing.
Play an instrument.
Call a crisis line.

Smell:
Use your favorite perfume or lotions.
Light a scented candle.
Bake cookies, cake, or bread.
Breathe in the fresh smells of nature.

Taste:
Have a favorite soothing drink such as herbal tea or hot chocolate (no alcohol).
Treat yourself to a dessert.
Sample flavors in an ice cream store.
Mindfully taste the food you eat.
Eat healthy.

Touch:
Pet your dog or cat.
Experience whatever you are touching; notice touch that is soothing.
Massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect.
Take a bath or shower. “Immersing yourself in either warm or cold water will change your body’s temperature, thus changing your physical sensations.”

Feeling Angry, Frustrated, Restless:
Hit a punching bag.
Hit a pillow.
Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
Learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside.
Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
Clean your room (or your whole house).

Feeling Sad, Soft, Melancholy:
Do something slow and soothing, like taking a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles, curling up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book, babying yourself somehow.
Listen to soothing music.
Smooth body lotion
Call a friend and talk about things that you like.
Visit a friend.
Let yourself cry.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
Mindful Meditation:

“54321″ exercise:
Name 5 things you can see in the room with you.
Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”)
Name 3 things you can hear right now (“fingers tapping on keyboard” or “TV”)
Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of)
Name 1 good thing about yourself.

Analyze an Object:
Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc.

Write (poetry, stories, journal, blogs, websites, etc.)
Arts and Crafts (paint, draw, crochet, knit, sew, metal embossing, scrapbook, sculpt, collages).
Exercise (walk, run, swim, lift weights, go to the park, go to the gym)
____________________________

My Coping Skills:
Write, play with dogs, metal embossing, collages, crocheting, light candles, take a bath, do mindful activities, meditation, drink blueberry tea, talk to crisis line, write on my website, scrapbooking, walking, socializing, cooking, take PRN's, clean house.

[browncat]

Going to the gym, going kayaking on the lake, sitting in star bucks people watching sipping a Frappuccino

[JustShakey]

Knit, esp. with skinny yarn that requires close focus. I love how the yarn feels running through my fingers...
Loud music in my ears. With my eyes closed I can shut out the whole world.
Rubbing my feet in the carpet/grass
Walking barefoot
Lay down outdoors and watch the clouds/stars
Painting my toenails
Any sort of intense physical activity, preferably outdoors

[msxyz]

I found it most helpful to concentrate on just a few things that have the most impact because else-wise the list of choices paralyzes me. Have you tried all these things on your list?

I mostly do one of these depending on what's going on, in order of effectiveness

Walk the dog/go outside
take a hot shower
deep breathing/mindfulness
clean/household work/garden work
drink tea and read

For example going outside/walking the dog helps with everything, but tea and reading isn't that helpful for when I am very anxious.

[HazelGirl]

I have broken the list up into various situations (like at work, when I wake up in the middle of the night, etc...) and have given myself 10 options for each situation. I find that to be less overwhelming than trying to choose one out of a huge list.

[msxyz]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

I have broken the list up into various situations (like at work, when I wake up in the middle of the night, etc...) and have given myself 10 options for each situation. I find that to be less overwhelming than trying to choose one out of a huge list.

That makes sense. You sound very organized!

[rainboots87]

One thing that may help is being more specific- like what are some healthy snacks you will make? pray for how long/much? go for a drive where? study Spanish how (conjugating verbs, learning vocab, etc.)?

My group T told us having a list with ideas as specific as possible, with some flexibility of course, so that when things are tough, we don't have to fill in those gaps.

Like mine are to listen to a specific uplifting playlist I've made, look at my art books on surrealism, watch the Ellen show clips on youtube, which friends I can call/text, etc.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

One thing that may help is being more specific- like what are some healthy snacks you will make? pray for how long/much? go for a drive where? study Spanish how (conjugating verbs, learning vocab, etc.)?

My group T told us having a list with ideas as specific as possible, with some flexibility of course, so that when things are tough, we don't have to fill in those gaps.

Like mine are to listen to a specific uplifting playlist I've made, look at my art books on surrealism, watch the Ellen show clips on youtube, which friends I can call/text, etc.

That might be a good idea!

[guilloche]

What a great list... here are a few more ideas that I find helpful...

- Search online for new recipes. (I'm trying to eat healthier, but never seem to know what to make.)

- You have "study Spanish" - I'm studying French! Watching online videos/streaming TV in French helps distract me (because it takes SO much attention for me to try to understand what's going on!) Sometimes, I'll find cartoons in French on youtube, and watch the same one a couple times... I read that this is how small kids learn languages, and after 3-4 repetitions, I actually CAN understand most of what's going on (!). I also like to try to read the French newspapers online... especially the comments people leave.

- Rewrite a song you like... write funny words to go with the melody. Especially good if you can express what's bothering you via the song.

- Go out for a walk with a camera, and look for interesting things to take pictures of.

- Hang out at the library! Lots of books - for free!

- Go online and research interesting things near you (either upcoming events or places you haven't been) - AS IF you were visiting your city and had never been there... (if you find something interesting, plan to go.)

- put on your favorite happy music and dance around like a crazy person (Close the curtains if you must!)

- This sounds odd... but... swing a sledgehammer! I know, it's weird... I just recently started doing an exercise ("shovelglove") that involves doing movements with a sledgehammer. (For example, you pretend to be shoveling, or pretend to be chopping wood, or pretend to be swinging a samurai sword at a bad guy). You don't actually hit anything... but it uses a ton of muscles (even a light sledgehammer - mine is only 6 pounds). But even better, some of the movements feel very natural and primal (and yes, I'm a female!). It's actually pretty relaxing, as long as you don't overdo it and hurt yourself!

Some people also go out and get an old, free tire for their backyard - then hit it with the sledgehammer. I don't have a backyard, or space in the house for this... but I can see how it could really help work out anger or stress...

- RE: hand sewing... I recently had to use a seam ripper to pull apart an old (huge) skirt that I made a long time ago. There was a ton of fabric (it took a couple hours!) I put some comedy on (youtube) to listen to, and ripped away. It was insanely *relaxing*. So, I can totally see how sewing up things (and knitting/embroidery) would also work!

[sweepy62]

Wow these are great, I have mini plastic toys that float , I know weird anyway I fill the sink and just watch them float. Pretty relaxing.

Sometime I take stuff apart and put it back together.

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[HazelGirl]

I love all of these ideas! They're absolutely brilliant! I'm going to be stealing so many of them!

[CameraObscura]

Dancing in the dark to loud music.
Painting or photography.
A luxurious shower or bath.
Journaling.
Cooking myself a fancy meal.
Reading here (reminds me I'm not the only person struggling, and therefore not a complete freak).
Making a pillow fort and hiding in it.
Hanging out on a friend's back porch.
Borrowing a toddler - toddlers are masters of blunt, honest, and open, and great to fingerpaint with.
If all else fails me, email my therapist.
If that fails, a xanax.

Thanks for this thread, the suggestions are awesome.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by guilloche

- This sounds odd... but... swing a sledgehammer! I know, it's weird... I just recently started doing an exercise ("shovelglove") that involves doing movements with a sledgehammer. (For example, you pretend to be shoveling, or pretend to be chopping wood, or pretend to be swinging a samurai sword at a bad guy). You don't actually hit anything... but it uses a ton of muscles (even a light sledgehammer - mine is only 6 pounds). But even better, some of the movements feel very natural and primal (and yes, I'm a female!). It's actually pretty relaxing, as long as you don't overdo it and hurt yourself!

Not weird at all. I love doing this sort of stuff. One of the machines at my work used to wobble off its blocks and I'd have to bang it back into place with a big mallet every so often. Used to be the best part of my day. Until they bolted it down properly Ah well. It kind of was a safety hazard...

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by CameraObscura

Dancing in the dark to loud music.

Borrowing a toddler - toddlers are masters of blunt, honest, and open, and great to fingerpaint with.

I can't offer a toddler, but if you ever want to borrow a six year old for an hour or so... She likes to paint too

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by JustShakey

Not weird at all. I love doing this sort of stuff. One of the machines at my work used to wobble off its blocks and I'd have to bang it back into place with a big mallet every so often. Used to be the best part of my day. Until they bolted it down properly Ah well. It kind of was a safety hazard...

Thanks... I'm new here, and was a little worried I might come off as a wacky sledgehammer-wielding crazy girl . I've been trying to more things that are physical/exercise... so it's a little new for me, but surprisingly feels good!

And... ooh I'm sorry (I think?) that they fixed your machine. I can definitely imagine how banging it in to place would feel good - both to work out some stress, and to do something useful!

Thanks!

Oh, and one other idea. I don't do this one often... but buy yourself flowers! It's kind of a neat special thing for "once in awhile" when you need a bit of cheer. I love to have fresh flowers close by when I'm stuck at a desk!