How would you feel, a funny odd thing happened in session yesterday, my t asked me to

Its was not a regular session yesterday, as I was at the highest anxiety level as I have been in a while, plus, I forgot my anti anxiety pill in my h car, so I havent taken it in 4 days.
Anyway after processing some stuff, and after my t trying to get my anxiety levels down, since we could not talk csa , there was this 20 minute space, where she said, how do you want to use our 20 minutes, thats never happened to me in the world of therapy lol.

So since she was hinting at listening to guided imagery, I didnt want that, I said lets look at family pics on my iphone, so I always sit next to her when I show her pics, about a minute or two. I then take my chair and go back to my spot.

I dont know what happened this time, lmao I just stayed there next to her, so we were both kind of talking but next to each other. She said sweepy, I need you to go back to your reg spot.
Lots of thoughts entered my mind, one was she hates me being next to her. Then she told me, she needs to see me when we talk.

How would you feel about this.

Aww it could happen to all of us when we disassociate, don't be embarrassed!

I think that's really hard. Personally, I would feel like a child who was being scolded and being told to go back to her seat in class. (I am sure I am projecting ALOT there, tho!) However, I have read most of your posts and it sounds like you have a really great T. My first reaction was that she could see you just fine sitting next to you...but I think if she is looking at your body language as well, then she would need to be sitting across from you. I definitely don't think she hated you being next to her!

One of my Ts has sat beside me when looking at stuff on my phone, or at a book I brought in, etc...but he has come and sat beside me. That has always made it easy because whenever we are done he can stand up and go back to his chair. (Sometimes he goes back right away and sometimes he doesn't...we do EFT and EMDR so we both move around for that anyway.)

Are you thinking about telling your T how you felt when she told you to go back to your seat? Is it logistically possible for her to come and sit by you in the future?

Yikes. The irrational/emotional part of me would have taken it as a bit of a rejection tbh.

More importantly, how did that make you feel? Did you express it to her?

I can see how it would make you feel bad.

But like she said, she needed to see your body language and how you're responding to things. I think that's very important for her to know how you're doing.

I can understand her making that request, but can also understand how that may have felt to you.

Maybe it can be a juggling act for T's sometimes, maintaining that boundary between T and friendship.

She probably has space issues. I need my 3 feet of personal space. I love my husband and children dearly, but things like reading over my shoulder, etc really bother me and I tell them to nicely back off

Also, talking when you're not facing someone is really difficult.

Please don't take it personally

Elsewhere: No, I been stressed , I dont think she meant it negatively, but for a split second, I took it that way.

Thats how I took it for a second, I usually move back to my chair, after I show her anything, but yesterday I just sat there, we kept talking, but she couldnt see me in front of her.

Yes, she is very attuned to me, and body language is very important to her.

She is ok with space, she iniciated it, she invited me to sit next to her when I share pics or whatever, like you said its difficult for her , she needs to see me.

I think conversations are best face-to-face so we can see each other's expressions, etc. Otherwise we're just disembodied words in the air, LOL, like having a phone conversation with tin can and a string when we were children.

Lol, I remember those can conversations.