not looking forward to monday...

My psychologist wants me to talk about my self hate. Why I hate myself and my body. Ugh, I really don't want to talk about that. It's hard for me to talk to her in general. I'm still very resistant. When your therapist is also employed by your employer, it just doesn't seem like a "safe place." Yoi and double yoi...

I would feel the same way if my therapist was employed by my employer. Do you have to use this one or might you want to look for another?

Write down a few things to say and take that with you, use it to start and let it go from there.

Good luck... let us know how it goes for you! Sometimes the sessions we dread the most are the most helpful. Ya never know!

ECHOES

can you talk to your therapist about when they will and will not disclose information to your employer? it might be that the therapist can guarantee complete confidentiality (unless it is a matter of your being likely to harm another person or yourself) or it might not. some therapists are very good with respect to either the above mentioned circumstances or a court order and in all other circumstances complete confidentiality is guaranteed.

i guess i don't know the situation with your employer but it might be the case that your employer genuinely wants you to make some progress (so you are a happier healthier more productive employee) and really couldn't care less about the details. in which case... might be a good opportunity to see someone good who is funded by not-you. :-)

> My psychologist wants me to talk about my self hate. Why I hate myself and my body.

yeah that sounds really hard. it can take a while (in my experience a fairly long while) before i feel like i trust them (and myself) enough to really open up. takes a while to get to know them. that being said... talking about the hard stuff is meant to be the way forward...

can you talk to your therapist about what they are / are not going to disclose to your employer?

i wouldn't feel comfortable disclosing anything without getting that cleared up so i certainly understand your discomfort.

a therapist has to guarantee confidentialty. if not, they are violating the ethical standards by which they practice. make sure you understand that when you talk to the T. the T cannot turn your records over to your employee. they may be able to give a "progress" note or something similiar, but breaching confidentiality is not allowed.

i worked in a psych hospital and NO ONE but the patient's Pdoc was privy to all of my notes and charting......

David, why are you in therapy? Is it a "required" thing or did you think it was a good idea? If it's required, I'd start with some of the required parts and do it in some way that was most comfortable to me (start with "about" the subject and what you've observed in others versus what you see in yourself); to heck with the T and what she wants you to talk about; it's your therapy, not hers. You are the one who is supposed to benefit.

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DavidStrong said:
My psychologist wants me to talk about my self hate. Why I hate myself and my body. Ugh, I really don't want to talk about that.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That sounds so scary. David, I'm so accustomed to the idea that the client is the one who chooses the topics to deal with at each session, not the therapist, that's it's hard for me to know how to respond when I hear a situation like yours. In all probability, it will not be productive to be forced to talk about an issue you are not ready to deal with. Maybe dealing with this issue is indeed an ultimate goal of yours and you can explain to her that you need to work up to it in small steps. The steps you take in getting to the issue may not be transparent to her, but ask her to trust you and have confidence that you will arrive at that topic when you are ready (if indeed it is a topic you want deal with).

When I think of the convoluted path I've taken in therapy, it sometimes seems laughable. But now I am indeed nearing dealing with some issues I wasn't ready to at the beginning. Without that winding path, it wouldn't have been possible. I am grateful for a T who let me find my path. As he has said to me before, "you know best what you need to heal."

Good luck and let us know how it goes.
sunny