Couch 78: Put your feet up and stay a while

Thanks for my new phone wallpaper! Gorgeous!!

I left the store early went to the mall with fingers and all appendages crossed to find a skirt .I did in the first store I went to (YAY ) and it was even only 4 dollars. got to friends and had 2 shots of tequila an I was off and had an ok time .i love the peeps at the store .they didn't get mad i had to leave early and helped me stay calm . all and all on ok day

Granite-I am glad it was not a disaster.

i think a lot of my fear and reaction to all this had a lot to do with the fact that im going to see the mother . my stress level to this so over the top .so i think it came to a head in other things. i was horrible yesterday morning . my poor hubby

Gah! I'm such a big baby!

I knew things were too quiet. My doorbell rang this morning, then came knocking at my door. I was like, hmm, people dont usually just stop by without calling. Is it a) my neighbor offering a ride in her new car? b) my pool friends with an impromptu visit and maybe a brunch invite? c) t stopping by to help me clean my apartment? (it could happen!!) I tiptoed to the door and peeked thru the peephole. Granny non grata. I tiptoed back to bed and texted t.

My cousin eventually left a voicemail saying they were in the lobby, sorry they didnt get to see me, and that they would be back next week WITH HER HUSBAND. Wtf??? Its sunday morning, dont people go to church anymore??

I was feeling dizzy before any of this happened. I wish they would leave me alone. T was helpful and texted back. I wish they wouldnt take over my life like this. They just want to win. They dont even like me. The first thing my mother always says about my messy apartments is, "why dont you throw out all those books?" They so dont know me.

So, in the grand scheme of things, I am doing a lot better when it comes to my over all mental health. Granted, my family and myself have been under a good amount of stress with everything that has been going on. T knows that I am doing better as well.

Today I am just feeling so overwhelmed by everything and I don't know what to do with those emotions. I really want to email T and ask him if he can see me before Friday. However, I am so hesitant, b/c for one.. its not like I am self imploding. I have thought about SIing, but haven't, had some anxiety over the weekend but it wasn't terrible. Really, I just need an outlet. It's not an emergency, and this sadly probably won't be last time our family has to deal with hospitalizing my BIL.. so I feel like I need to handle it on myself, and not always go running to T. What would you all do?? contact t, try to make in through until Friday??

I think you should contact your T and see if he has an earlier time. That's simply good self care.

Asking for a closer appt time is good to do...

In addition to that or if T isn't able to see you earlier... You could try writing in your journal as an outlet or possibly going on a bike ride this afternoon would help....

Welcome! Glad to be of service!

You never know around here! It had just rained, so there were all kinds of smaller critters scampering around. I love the desert.

Power tools are very grounding.

Honestly, i feel my anxiety drop 5 degrees every time i pick up my phone (which is often!). Which is really helping today. And gila monsters notwithstanding!

Eta - it feels like i completely forgot whatever i had planned to do today. Everything is crowded out of my mind. Im just blank. And numb. And my head and chest feel too full.

Do i tell them, dont ever do that again? I need a man to tell them. They wont listen to me. Im only a woman. Eff this.

I think you should try to get an earlier appt. you're doing so well but it is good to look after yourself too. If he can't see you at least he knows a bit more in time for Fridays session.... ?? Take good care of yourself. Xx

Healed I agree with everybody else. What with your BIL and your son plus school starting you must be under a bit of stress.

Being in a new place is slightly scary. Last night, about midnight, I thought I heard someone on my back deck. I lay and listened to them then I thought I heard someone else. I thought of ringing the police. Then they were walking around and running. In the end i got brave as I figured they were just kids. I was a group of possums playing. Later they were on the roof soundied like a herd of elephants up there.

A webpage showing the diff between Oz possums and US possums
http://www.bobinoz.com/blog/4013/pos...all-explained/

Here's a more factual one
http://www.gorgeouscreatures.co.nz/N...s+Opossum.html

Boy Bob's got a couple possums of his own growing on his forehead, aint he??

US 'possums are very ugly and ornery. They look like giant gray rats with those naked tails. And their teeth stick out at funny angles--at least the ones I've encountered!!

Good thing you have the peephole! And you'll still have it next week if they return as threatened - I mean promised...

I know! Kramers reverse peephole on Seinfeld flashed thru my head. Like one time when i was in a car accident - it was pretty minor, i had the light at an intersection, but this little Porsche thought he had a left turn light, right into my left bumper! - anyway i was like in slow motion thinking, "i have to buckle my seatbelt... oh wait, i DID buckle it... i ALWAYS buckle it!" Anyway same thing today: "oh no... i hope its not a reverse peephole... dont be silly... that was on tv... not real life..." Bouncing sound from 6 million dollar man optional! Im starting to feel a little better physically. Im watching Fantasy Island. Tony Tenille just turned Monte Markham from a beast into... nope, he still looks like Monte Markham ooh granny brings out the vicious in me.

Let the vicious flow, H - get it out! Sublimation....

I often notice connections between life and Seinfeld episodes. I remember the reverse peephole.

Tried a new bread recipe - pumpernickel meal and I added molasses and flax. It rose pretty well. Baking right now and smells good.

Fresh baking bread sounds so wonderful... It's making me hungry...

Stopdog, you tease.

It is tasty and will be my sandwich bread for the week. I have found soaked pumpernickel meal added to bread gives it a great texture. I usually use a third all purpose flour, a third whole wheat and a third rye or sometimes semolina. And I add a couple of tablespoons of vital wheat gluten to help it not end up like a brick.
Soon it will be cinnamon bread/sweet roll season.