[ShaggyChic_1201]

I was talking to T about shame and one of the things I reluctantly mentioned was that I struggle with basic hygiene. After many years, I have settled on a routine I can live with. I shower M, W & F and S if I'm going to church.

T was kind, understanding and non-judgmental (unlike me) and said it was very common in certain subsets of clients.

If you have similar issues, what is the number 1 reason?

[GingerbreadWoman]

I dislike it because I live with a psychopath who is constantly messing with or trying to steal my stuff. I can't leave my shampoo, mouthwash, etc. in the bathroom because she'll open up the bottles and pee in them or worse. I can't leave my bedroom door unlocked while I shower because she'll go in my room and steal handfuls of my stuff just so I don't have it anymore.

So, for me, showering is a complicated ordeal. I have to carry my shampoo, conditioner, facewash, toothpaste, mouthwash, toothbrush, razor, loofa, towel, etc. from my bedroom into the bathroom. Then I have to lock my bedroom door and carry my keys with me into the bathroom. Then when I'm done, I have to carry all of the wet shower supplies back into my bedroom, and it's pretty gross to have wet stuff sitting around in my tiny bedroom where there's nowhere to set it besides my desk.

I only really shower when I have somewhere to be.

[JustShakey]

I had similar issues as a teen. I think it was mostly caused by my sleeping too much - I used to sleep a lot as an escape. I would sleep late and just not have enough time to shower. Not having access to a comfortable, warm bathroom and a decent amount of privacy had a lot to do with it too. My mother was not the greatest at coaching me on hygiene issues either. She would discourage me from doing normal girl things like shaving, upper lip grooming etc.

[HazelGirl]

I just don't like going through the hassle of showering

[Silent Void]

I used to shower every day, sometimes more in the summer. As my depression has deepened I'm more and more reluctant to get in the water. I downright hate it now and I cannot get motivated to do it.

I only shower when I have to see the doctor or go shopping. I don't really leave the house otherwise.

[precaryous]

I shower but hate it. I have medical issues that make showers exhausting.

Normally showering doesn't bother me except when i am depressed and its all to much but sometimes my body is so sensitive it feels like someone is pelting golf balls at me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I absolutely love showering/bathing....mostly. I'm a water-baby: I love baths, showers, pools, ocean, lake, rain, fountains. I also hate being dirty. One speck of dirt on me and I'll freak out (but I'm not germaphobic).

I dread it before getting in, but once I do get in, I find the water peaceful, relaxing, and cleansing.
I love feeling clean, but I hate having to touch my body.
And baths trigger my SI So I can only take a bath if my fiance is home.

When I am depressed, I take a shower every other day. When I'm extremely depressed, I've gone up to a week w/o a shower.

I was prohibited from showering or bathing growing up. Sometimes so we didn't "waste" water or soap, and sometimes as a punishment. As an adult, if I have to go a day without showering or bathing, I feel absolutely frantic. Well, unless I'm camping, and even then, I have to wash up with wet wipes and wash my hair in a bucket.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I absolutely love showering/bathing....mostly. I'm a water-baby: I love baths, showers, pools, ocean, lake, rain, fountains. I also hate being dirty. One speck of dirt on me and I'll freak out (but I'm not germaphobic).

I dread it before getting in, but once I do get in, I find the water peaceful, relaxing, and cleansing.
I love feeling clean, but I hate having to touch my body.
And baths trigger my SI So I can only take a bath if my fiance is home.

When I am depressed, I take a shower every other day. When I'm extremely depressed, I've gone up to a week w/o a shower.

Hate getting ready but love love love swimming pools, "lazy rivers," etc. So relaxing...and an exercise I can actually do!

I also put off showers when depressed. I don't go anywhere or see anyone anyway.

[growlycat]

NOT showering harbors echoes of neglect. I don't feel right if I'm not clean with brushed teeth, clean clothes etc.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

The results are really interesting so far. Keep 'em coming

[ThisWayOut]

I don't mind showering, but it is a lot of work. I go through cycles that may or may not coincide with my depression. When I'm more depressed, good luck getting me to muster the energy for a shower (longest I've gone is maybe a week and a half without). When I'm in a better mood, I shower regularly unless I am struggling with my si (one of my preferred places to si). The most I've ever showered was twice in one day because I got really gross and sweaty, or dirty doing housework, or have been to the beach and need to wash the salt water off.
I have body image issues, but I also generally feel really detatched from my reflection (and for whatever reason I don't see my body as a whole when I'm in the shower, just parts that need to get cleaned up), so seeing myself in the mirror is more of a fascination thing; "that's what I look like... ok..."
weird... I know...

[CalmingOcean]

This is funny timing for this question... I have spent a LOnG time burying any 'triggers' (so I thought) and memories of when I was your, but one came back to me a couple of weeks ago. And I think in part it is now adding to my resistance with EMDR (we haven't started yet, but we have barely been able to start any therapy because of my unwillingness within certain parts of me).

When I was a kid and things picked up, I was not even safe in the shower. I would lock the door but locks in old military houses were not so great. I would hear the giggle of the lock, the doorknob and knew he was coming.

For the first time in years, YEARS, that feeling came back to me. And I had forgotten it.

Usually, I love showering. I need to be clean. I can't ever be dirty.

[clairelisbeth]

Originally Posted by GingerbreadWoman

I dislike it because I live with a psychopath who is constantly messing with or trying to steal my stuff. I can't leave my shampoo, mouthwash, etc. in the bathroom because she'll open up the bottles and pee in them or worse. I can't leave my bedroom door unlocked while I shower because she'll go in my room and steal handfuls of my stuff just so I don't have it anymore.

So, for me, showering is a complicated ordeal. I have to carry my shampoo, conditioner, facewash, toothpaste, mouthwash, toothbrush, razor, loofa, towel, etc. from my bedroom into the bathroom. Then I have to lock my bedroom door and carry my keys with me into the bathroom. Then when I'm done, I have to carry all of the wet shower supplies back into my bedroom, and it's pretty gross to have wet stuff sitting around in my tiny bedroom where there's nowhere to set it besides my desk.

I only really shower when I have somewhere to be.

That is really terrible! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with that.

[Soul Quake]

I could go without showering for months. My stench doesn't bother me. If it was up to me, I'd only brush my teeth. But I leave the house everyday, and don't want to look like a slob or smell. I shower 3 times a week and don't understand these crazy people who shower everyday.

[clairelisbeth]

For me, not showering reminds me of when I was in a really bad episode of bulimia and depression. I had to leave my job b/c I was too sick to work. I was taking a couple of classes non-matriculated at a nearby university, but that didn't take up too much time. Basically, if I wasn't sleeping or in class, I was binging and purging.

My life was a complete nightmare. I was living with a roommate at the time (a good friend) but I stopped spending time with him or any of my other friends. My room looked like a complete and utter disaster, and I gained a lot of weight very fast because I was binging so much. I had no energy because of the depression and the physical effects of the eating disorder, and I didn't want to deal with body image issues. For those reasons, I really didn't shower unless I was going to class and absolutely had to. This all happened about 6 years ago and only a few people know the extent of how bad it was.

Now, I am meticulous about my personal space and showering, even if I'm not having people over or have nowhere to go. Otherwise, it reminds me too much of that period of my life.

Creating a ritual for myself is something that I've worked on in therapy and is something that I've really come to love. Showering, getting into clean pjs, climbing into my cozy bed with fresh clean sheets and a warm comforter and cuddling with my puppy is a nightly ritual for me and it's very comforting. Showering has become part of the self-care package, AND it reminds me that I'm not in one of the darkest places that I've ever been in-that I've survived it and created a life for myself that is warm and cozy.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by Soul Quake

I could go without showering for months. My stench doesn't bother me. If it was up to me, I'd only brush my teeth. But I leave the house everyday, and don't want to look like a slob or smell. I shower 3 times a week and don't understand these crazy people who shower everyday.

Sometimes I shower 2x a day if it is hot or I exercised.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SA



My reluctance sometimes has to do with depression (can't believe I didn't include that in the poll), but started in childhood. Neglectful parents never taught me about hygiene (I am still humiliated by being told I was filthy). Then my uncle used to force me to clean up after. I spent many showers in the fetal position crying after multiple rapes in college. Severe bulimia led to body image issues and I hated to treat my disgusting body well since it had brought me nothing but heartache. Then my ex-H started to video me showering to put on porn sites. Sometimes he'd corner me in the shower and force himself on me, saying it was my fault b/c I was "so hot." He thought every time I undressed it was an invitation for sex, though if I didn't shower, he thought since I was dirty anyway...

I'm trying to change my future. Guess it's one shower at a time.

[sailorboy]

I love showers. I shower pretty much everyday, sometimes more than once.

[GingerbreadWoman]

Originally Posted by clairelisbeth

That is really terrible! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with that.

Thank you. It is pretty awful, and there's actually a lot more to it that I didn't get into. That said, after reading about others' bathroom experiences, I feel bad even complaining about my situation.

[rainboots87]

For me, it's more of an effort thing. I have thick, wavy hair and washing and drying it is a pain in the butt. When I've been more depressed, I just didn't care much, but even not depressed, I don't like having to deal with my hair. I also don't want my hair to be gross, so it's an eternal struggle. I've found both baths and showers to be relaxing/soothing though, I just don't like dealing with my hair.

[lacerta]

I'm too lazy to take shower. I'm afraid I'll be cold.

[nottrustin]

In general I enjoy showering as I like the feeling of the hot water flowing on me. However, it can also turn into a difficult time. Sometimes my mind wanders and it seems to trigger emotions and memories (although I was never harmed in the shower)

For me, the shower and bath were the scenes of abuse. Showering and bathing with enjoyment was a form of taking back my power. **** her, I'm going to shower and bathe in PRIVACY and with enjoyment, kind of thing. Also, I find body odors, mine own and other people's, and particularly women's, incredibly horrible and triggering. I mean, it's one thing when we've all been riding or working out -- those kinds of odors are no big deal. It's the -gone way too long without ever getting clean - rancid - kind of odors that are just unbearable for me. I have trouble with clients sometimes and have to do the totally dissociative thing to get through appointments. Take lots and lots of notes so *I* will remember what happened later, or at least have the information there even if I have no memory of the appointment. Even just reading this thread and hearing about other people going so long without showering makes my heart pound and my hands shake. So, I appreciate the fact that this thread was started, because it emphasizes for me that this is something I probably need to discuss more in therapy.