[pamelasu]

My therapist has had me say good bye to her several times in the past few weeks. She is trying to get me into a different therapist but each time I say good bye to her I just crumble. Any way, I still don't have a new therapist yet and I go see my therapist from before because she said I can until I get a new one. I really don't think I can say good bye to her again. It's just getting harder and harder each time to let go of her. I just don't know what to tell her though. I should be getting a new therapist soon so hopefully I won't have to do this again.

[lesbo]

Hi, I am new here so, I hope you don't mind me saying something here?
It sounds to me as if you have become very dependent on your therapist and I am wondering whether this is why she is wanting you to find another therapist?
Is it possible that she knows you cannot function without her and for this reason, she needs you to find another therapist who can help you more than she is able to?
It will be difficult for you to find another therapist who you can trust and feel so comfortable with but, perhaps if you are able to pull yourself away from this therapist, you will find that you can cope without her and learn to trust another therapist who can offer you the help you need.

[pamelasu]

I'm really not that dependent on her. I have gone over a month period of not seeing her because I wanted her to know that I can go without it. She doesn't want to help me any more because she really just can't do any more for me. I have outgrown her. It's just that we have been together for a year now and it's hard to let go of her.

i think it can be really hard to stop seeing a therapist without having someone else in your life who can continue to play that role (i.e., another therapist). i mean, not when you are right at the end of therapy, of course, but in a middle part like this...

things might get a lot easier after you start seeing someone new. one thing to do might be to agree to have one session AFTER you have started to see the new person. that way you can stop saying goodbye all the time and it can be up to YOU to say goodbye to her?

would that help?

[Perna]

When I had to terminate with my therapist of long-standing because she was retiring and I was too (and moving) I hooked up with a good online therapist http://www.metanoia.org/ using a pay-as-you-go sort of thing to "tide me over" until I was all established in my new neighborhood and knew which end was up :-) Maybe a temporary/transitional arrangement like that with someone to "bridge" the gap between old and new would help?

[pamelasu]

I will be seeing my sister's therapist but I'm not sure when she is going to get me in. This is hard not knowing when I will ever get a new therapist. I can't afford to pay for an online therapist either. I'm trying to get through college and get to where I can get a decent job. Oh well, I guess I will live. I have to wait a month to see my old therapist. In the mean time I just wait.

[(JD)]

Are there some techniques that your former T taught you? Things you can do to continue to improve? (((hugs)))

[pamelasu]

I don't think that the techniques will help at this point. I just need a therapist that is going to pull some stuff out of me and help me to heal more. I have to be able to say things out before I can grow any more. Everything that I have learned from my former therapist helps temporarily and it doesn't last very long. I'll be glad when I get into this other therapist though.

maybe this is crazy but...

i struggled with community mental health for a number of years because i wanted a therapist and they didn't want to / couldn't give me one.

what i did...

is i used boards such as these for my therapy.

it is different, sure. but i'd talk about stuff that was hard on the boards. in a way it was easier to say it to the boards than it would have been to say it face to face. you also tend to get a number of responses (rather than the response of one therapist) and so you can pick and choose from what is offered ;-) typically i'd get some helpful responses... and i think it helped people to be able to think about my posts before responding instead of responding automatically and relatively unthinkingly.

and when other people talk about their therapy... sure that can be hard... but when they post about issues they are struggling with it got me thinking about them etc.

boards really helped me through when i fairly much had no therapy for a few years...

i know it isn't the same.

but...

i'm not sure if it is 'worse' or 'better' or just...
'different'

know it really helped me a whole heap though
and that is why i'm more able to make use of my current therapy situation

[pamelasu]

I so want to say that that works for me but it doesn't. I am able to write things and write thing over and over and over again and still feel really down. It's just weird how that doesn't work any more. I'm just going to pray that this transistion goes smooth and a little bit faster. Thanks for the suggestion though!

((pamelasu)) The waiting and not knowing is hard! I hope things sort themselves out soon for you! I know its the human contact that we need more then anything at times.

Take care.

[Talulah]

Hi Pamelasu, is there a service or dept for counesling students where you go to school? Maybe to tide you over?? This may prove helpful if the cost is low/no.

If not, I hope you stay well until you meet the new one.

Take care

[pamelasu]

Talulah, I am using college campus counselors right now and she just doesn't want to see me any more so I have to do best with what I have. I have to wait until they get me in at the other place.Thanks though!

> I am able to write things and write thing over and over and over again and still feel really down.

yeah. there is a difference between revisiting times past and working through times past.

i guess that is where i found other people's input to be invaluable. i go around these circles in my head... and sometimes another person would manage to find their way in and help break me out. of course, sometimes not... but most often i'd never have said that to my t anyway lol

((pamelasu))

Gosh this must be so hard! Saying goodbye is gut-wrenching and having to do it over and over sounds very very diffidcult!

Have you simply told her how hard it is? Mayb sharing that with her could be the good bye.

I hope you find a new therapist soon. This is like not really having one because each session is a 'last' session, so how can you work on much.

((hugs))

[pamelasu]

Yes I have told her about how I feel about it. I've just decided to not see her for a while. It's going to be tough but I can manage. Thanks!

[sunrise]

pamelasu, I would find it so difficult to keep saying good-bye to my T. Even once would be excruciating. And you are going through it multiple times. The uncertainty--how difficult to deal with that! (((hugs))) I wonder if having to say good-bye multiple times is even getting beyond the therapeutic? Maybe it is better to just say good-bye and end it, so as not to have to keep going through it again. Hang in there! I hope you can get lined up with the new T very, very soon.

sunny