[Bipolarchic14]

I am not sure if anyone else relates but I had an incident a few months back, too long to explain, but it made me realize my therapist and my p-doc do not care for my well being. It's a little scary, since I am supposed to trust that they are acting in my best interest. I had a depressive relapse and neither of them offered advice or guidance on how to get out of it. They just left me floundering about. I have been trying to continue therapy with the idea that it really does not matter if they care because part of me always knew this but it is getting harder and harder to talk to my therapist. The last two sessions were really difficult. One session i pretty much just sat there fighting back tears and unable to speak and the last session I could not think of what to say. I talked about work and other things that really did not have anything to do with therapy. So I basically went from feeling really connected with my therapist to feeling really distant. She actually seems cold to me now. I use to look forward to therapy but now I am actually dreading the idea. I thought about discussing it with my lcsw but I am a firm believer in actions speak louder than words so I don't think it will help.

Where i go, i have to see a therapist to continue seeing a p-doc. This seems a little odd since bipolar is generally treated with meds. I am thinking of changing to a nurse practitioner as oppose to a p- doc, since the p-doc has not been of much use to me. Then I will be free to quit therapy. I thought about trying another therapist but I don't know that I can feel comfortable with another therapist. There is something unsettling about paying someone who withholds info from you and whose success is based on deceit. Has anyone else had a similar experience not trusting mental health professionals and if so what actions did you take to correct the issue?

[Leah123]

I think sharing this letter would be the best step. It's worked for me whenever I've doubted my providers. It's important to match up my perception with theirs. I'm sorry you're feeling so disconnected. Discussing it openly allows for the possibility of working it through, which is impossible if you keep quiet. But if that doesn't work, then you will have an easier time deciding to leave and pursue another course of action.

[HazelGirl]

Sometimes depression can cloud our judgment. You didn't say specifically what happened, but it's possible they didn't have anything they could do. They might have been trying to help you the best they knew how. I don't think you can assume anything about whether they care based on some actions while you were depressed.

Please talk about it. You might be really surprised by their attitude.

[The_little_didgee]

I don't trust mental health professionals mainly because they misdiagnosed me and then treated me like the plague. I was left profoundly hurt. The bastards got away with it. Now it takes me a long time to trust them. I have been seeing my psychiatrist for over two years and I still don't completely trust her. It is evident by my reluctance to discuss things like my psychotic symptoms. I'm scared she is going to shape me into a wrong diagnosis like all the others did.

Depression can definitely impair one's judgement. I thought my psychiatrist was lying to me and that she could read my thoughts so I refused to see her during that time. She denied this but I still wonder.

I know she cares but it is not the same as family and friends. She does and says things that suggest it even though those actions are confined due to the nature of the doctor-patient relationship.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I don't trust mental health professionals mainly because they misdiagnosed me and then treated me like the plague. I was left profoundly hurt. The bastards got away with it. Now it takes me a long time to trust them. I have been seeing my psychiatrist for over two years and I still don't completely trust her. It is evident by my reluctance to discuss things like my psychotic symptoms. I'm scared she is going to shape me into a wrong diagnosis like all the others did.

Depression can definitely impair one's judgement. I thought my psychiatrist was lying to me and that she could read my thoughts so I refused to see her during that time. She denied this but I still wonder.

I know she cares but it is not the same as family and friends. She does and says things that suggest it even though those actions are confined due to the nature of the doctor-patient relationship.

You do know that no one on earth can read thoughts, right? Because she honestly can't. No one can.

[vonmoxie]

I would certainly encourage trying different practitioners if you are having an experience that you think could be improved upon. I've done this, but in some cases I wish I'd done it much sooner as there were certainly therapists that were not at all tuned in to my situation, were not proactive about my therapy, but were happy to keep taking my money while nodding at me for an hour or more a week. They're not going to be the ones to tell you there may be someone more suited to your case and needs (at least, I've never heard those words).

Good luck to you.

[Depletion]

I have to say that I really relate to this. I have been treated badly and abandoned by therapists in the past. I am struggling in my current therapy immensely to trust.

But I think that there are two things that are important to realize. First abandonment or feelings that the other person is not there can be created by things that have occurred in the past. When we enter vulnerable spaces like therapy these kinds of issues can come up big time. Have you been abandoned in the past either emotionally or physically, if so you maybe reliving some of those feelings now, and you need to tell your T. Second, therapy is like any other relationship, if something is bothering you in the relationship, you need to find away to bring it up. And while it is true that actions do speak louder than words you need to create a venue for those actions to happen by bringing up the topic. If you don't do that then your T has no way to act. I suggest as others have said that showing her this post might be a good way to accomplish that. If she doesn't respond with concern or in some other way that reflects the importance of the issue that you raise, then it might be a good idea to go else where, but I really think that you need to give her a chance first.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Depletion

I have to say that I really relate to this. I have been treated badly and abandoned by therapists in the past. I am struggling in my current therapy immensely to trust.

But I think that there are two things that are important to realize. First abandonment or feelings that the other person is not there can be created by things that have occurred in the past. When we enter vulnerable spaces like therapy these kinds of issues can come up big time. Have you been abandoned in the past either emotionally or physically, if so you maybe reliving some of those feelings now, and you need to tell your T. Second, therapy is like any other relationship, if something is bothering you in the relationship, you need to find away to bring it up. And while it is true that actions do speak louder than words you need to create a venue for those actions to happen by bringing up the topic. If you don't do that then your T has no way to act. I suggest as others have said that showing her this post might be a good way to accomplish that. If she doesn't respond with concern or in some other way that reflects the importance of the issue that you raise, then it might be a good idea to go else where, but I really think that you need to give her a chance first.

I do have some abandonment issues but I don't think this is the cause. I will explain my long story. I had rash of sorts under my skin that could not be seen but could be felt. I was instructed to inform them if a rash occurred. I left a message for my p-doc. He called back left a message saying I have not made any changes so it must be the med. He had me stop taking it and told me to go to the er if it does not go away. The message was vague at best. He never spoke to me so how was he to know I did not make any changes and he did not give me a time frame on when I should go to the ER. Dropping this med would have severe consequences. (Lamictal) I could not get a hold of the pdoc, so I attempted contacting my lcsw to see if she had more info. She did not answer and I did not leave a message. So I go to the Er, they dismiss it because they could not see it and did not even try to feel the area I was referring to. Well next session I started to explain what happened and she started to say ya I was going to ca---- and she cut off her statement. She basically said dont worry no one thinks you did this for attention but don't make a habit of calling me outside of hours. Paraphrasing to some degree. My brother felt the area I was referring to and helped me make the decision to call. So it was not " just in my head". So I mentioned this and said I was very dissatisfied on how this was handled. All she did was making this weird expression like a dog does when they did something wrong.

Aside from this, when my therapist does not know an answer she says she will look into it and when I ask she has forgotten to do so. She has never once remembered. I brought this up and she proceeded to do it again. I get it, you're busy, but don't tell me you are looking into it if you're not. Last two sessions, she gas been late, but has not been in the past. ( I am the first session of the day) The first time she extended so I received the full allotment of time. The next time she started late and ended early. I always do my homework and I have made significant changes since I started working with her so it's not like I just go in talk leave and not apply what I am learning. I use to feel connected but now I am struggling to even trust her. (T-doc). My p-doc is just a hopeless case. Won't even go there.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are having such difficulties worth your providers. I took would suggest bringing this up with your t. If however, you can't do that, I would suggest looking into therapy with someone else if you have found therapy helpful in the past.

[HazelGirl]

Yeah, I can see how all of that would be frustrating.

[Depletion]

I still think that its best that you let T know what happened. She may just not realize that all of this has been going one. But you are absolutely right to be upset, she just needs to know that's how you feel.

[Lauliza]

I would try to find new providers if you do not trust the T and Pdoc you have. You've seen them long enough and you are dissatisfied, so I see no reason to continue. I've had a rash from lamictal. Not serious but it's painful, so I understand. Best thing to do was stop the meds, even though it may have been sudden and gave you some unpleasant reactions. If you get that rash they do want you off it right away. If you have any other physical symptoms go to the ER again and if they still dismiss you go to a general practitioner, forget about the pdoc and T until you look into it further. If they treat you like they don't believe you, find another pdoc and T right away. There's no need to see people who you find unsupportive.

[Bipolarchic14]

I guess it is just frustrating. My therapist and I worked really well together until that incident. I honestly tried to get past it. The problem is, when I am having a really bad session where I don't agree with something, that incident resurfaces. I actually feel deceived, as stupid as that may sound. So I know I am having some transference issues which causes some of my mistrust but it is hard to get past that when I have solid facts backing up how I am feeling. So I can't just brush it off and convince myself it is all in my head or I am just being paranoid. I will try to discuss this again but I have tried to before and I have not felt any better. I will give it one more try but it's just awkward.