Wishing.

At times I say to T "I wish you were my mother" and she says "go on" but I always stop. For one, I feel maybe Im saying the wrong thing, I should be concentrating on the "real" relationship we have. But I wonder, am I supposed to carry on talking about the wish so that it can get experienced in some way? Is she trying to get me to go into the fantasy more?

maybe she wants you to go into why so you can expose it to yourself. Is it the nurturing or acceptance or closeness. Go on.. she say. so you can know why, and get what you need from her and other relationships.

Estehervirtue,Yes maybe thats it.

I had similar feelings and couldn't (or wouldn't) say them aloud so I emailed her and said "this is silly I know" then launched into this childlike fantasy where she comes in sand 'saves' me so to speak. I told her how embarassed I was at feeling this. She totally welcomed it and said this was a very good step for me. Fantasies are ok to discuss in therapy and how it related to her was very important for her to help me. I would say, my diclosure of this, was instrumental in many ways in helping us move into the next phase.....

I say, be brave and try for a little more disclosure on this, you may be pleasantly surprised.

I have a hard time saying things directly to my T about how I feel about him. But I do dream about him, and I tell him my dreams about us, and this leads to really good work and strengthening of our bond.

Good luck, mouse. I think you are very brave even to tell your T you wish she were your mother. I hope you can "go on" as she suggests.

sunny

I don't think you are saying the 'wrong' thing. Oftentimes examining / analysing the transference (which can be revealed by fantasies and dreams as well as "real" interaction) is the way forward...

I think that your therapist might have been trying to give you a lead in to your telling her what you wish you had when you were a kid. Identifying what you felt you missed out on can enable you to grieve for that and also figure out how to meet it in real world relationships (not just with your therapist but outside therapy as well).

Mouse, I'd listen to t and indeed 'go on'.... it will help you express your wishes, and you will become aware of the loss and be able to mourn it.
i have told my t i wish i could suck from her breast....that i feel i am regressing further and further, now i am 12, then 6, then 3, then 1, then newborn and then embryo...lol...
it is good to allow yourself to feel what you do, to express it, and just let it be, allow for it....without attempting to change it, without judging it...