[sweepy62]

Sorry for another thread, I guess my mind is playing with me or maybe not, but today's session had me spinning . I was so frustrated. She knew it and kept asking me who I was frustrated at, I wanted so bad to say YOU . I just said everything .

I think she was waiting for me to say her. Anyway, as I was asking her about the schedule , and why I wasn't comfortable talking too much trauma every 2 weeks, she agreed, but she kept saying there were changes happening in the clinic.

She didn't tell me what though, she said her caseload was heavy like 100 clients , not weekly of course. I asked if she was going to continue to help me with trauma, she said it was her goal. There's that freaking word again.

She used to say sweepy of course we are going to work through it , I'm here for you ect... Words of reasurr acne . Now all she says, it's , it's a goal.

She is being evasive. T1 and t2 started doing that when they were leaving. She is not leaving, but I feel there is something she is not saying.

I'm so damn paranoid .

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[Leah123]

Awe Sweepy. I think she'll try and be there for you, but that she's realizing some of it is out of control because she can't count on the other therapists to be there. So... I don't think you're being unreasonable to feel how you do, but I also don't think she's planning to leave you.

However.... do you have any options for switching services? I hate how often you've been dropped and how irregular your sessions are, etc.

[HazelGirl]

Maybe because she can't see you as often right now, she is trying to keep you from feeling dependent on her?

[Wren_]

sweepy i keep wondering the same as leah asked, if there is anywhere else you can go
i think you may have said there isn't? ... just seems so difficult for you the way therapy sessions have gone for you lately

I get like that 2. T just called me on that twice last session. He called it _______ inferences. What was the first word? Some type of faulty thinking.

I hear you though. Do it all the time too. Hugs

[JaneC]

Oh Sweepy I can totally see why you would feel as you do. ANd I agree with others, she may not be leaving but is being reserved because of the challenges with the others at the practice?

Also, I wanted to say....trust your instinct. If you feel she is being evasive and want to know, then tell her and ask if this is the case. I know that is hard to do! I did with my T, and my instincts were correct....I got my answers and it helped knowing.

I truly hope you can get back to a regular, consistent and supportive T situation soon.

[Aloneandafraid]

I too wanted to say trust your instincts on this, Sweepy. I hope you can get back on track with a consistent schedule and consistent support. You have been so understanding and accepting of the recent changes but I think it is time to maybe raise your concerns with her? I wish you well, Sweepy. Take care.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

sweepy i keep wondering the same as leah asked, if there is anywhere else you can go
i think you may have said there isn't? ... just seems so difficult for you the way therapy sessions have gone for you lately

I was thinking about it, but I live in the midwest, If I was still in NYC I would have many more options, out here, there are not that many, this organization has many locations out here, but this is the closest, and my h is not willing to travel further. Transportation out here is very limited. I am just so emotionally drained by all these changes, that to even think of going elsewhere and trying again, is more than I can handle. Its not even a matter of latching on to this t, if all of this would have happened without all of these stressors being present, it would have been fine. I was seeing t2 every 2 weeks for a long time before I saw her weekly.

Its just that, I had the transition going on, when t2 left, I had the stressor of my mil, hospice, and trauma therapy, then mil passed away. Then thats when in the middle of all of that, I was left to go every 2 weeks sometimes every 3 weeks, In the middle of all that mess. I know its beyond her control.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by JaneC

Oh Sweepy I can totally see why you would feel as you do. ANd I agree with others, she may not be leaving but is being reserved because of the challenges with the others at the practice?

Also, I wanted to say....trust your instinct. If you feel she is being evasive and want to know, then tell her and ask if this is the case. I know that is hard to do! I did with my T, and my instincts were correct....I got my answers and it helped knowing.

I truly hope you can get back to a regular, consistent and supportive T situation soon.

I am going to leave her a message today, I feel something is off, like she is not telling me something, it may be my faulty thinking, but I have to verify this. I had the same feeling with t1 and t2 and I was right about them when they left. Like you, I have trouble speaking up for myself and advocating, and at my age, its seems shameful. I need to know.

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I am going to leave her a message today, I feel something is off, like she is not telling me something, it may be my faulty thinking, but I have to verify this. I had the same feeling with t1 and t2 and I was right about them when they left. Like you, I have trouble speaking up for myself and advocating, and at my age, its seems shameful. I need to know.

Good Luck, Sweepy. I think you are doing the right thing by addressing it.

[granite1]

sweepy I know what you are saying .im glad you are going to leave her a message today .I hope you can be very direct about how you are feeling . let her know her behaviors are leading you to believe there is something she is keeping from you .and is she going to be referring you out or to someone else. good luck

[ThingWithFeathers]

I think it's hard when you feel something going on, but don't know what it is. To also be worried about T leaving, would stress me out too. Maybe you could let your T know about your concern, to ease your mind, and see what your T says?

Just read your other posts, sorry. Looks like you've got a plan.

[sweepy62]

I not so much afraid that she is leaving, im thinking, something has changed, like instead of seeing me long term and working with my issues and finishing what i started there, with my past,, with t1 and t2 and now her, that she will say that due to changes she can only see me short term and she can no longer work with my past issues. That can of worms has been opened, theres no way those worms can be contained.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Sorry, I misinterpreted. That sounds like a horrible worry to have

[sweepy62]

No worries, it's ok. My whole experience with therapy has been a big emotional mess and splatter with good stuff in between of course , but the after shocks outweigh the benefits.

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[ThisWayOut]

I've been following your threads, but not saying much. It sounds all so unreliable. I'm sorry you are struggling with this. i hope there's nothing too "crazy" going on behind the scenes with your t. I hope things either settle soon with her, or you can find someone stable.

It's upsetting to see how you've been upended by therapists either leaving or (as with the current one) having to cut back. The unreliability of it all is the last thing you need. It's always hard to read what a therapist means, even when it's first hand, so I won't try to guess what she's got going on. I do trust your gut sense, though, and hope that it leads to some clarity with her. She does sound like a good therapist. So that's something to hang your hat on. Be well. I'm pulling for you.

Did you contact her Sweepy?

[JaneC]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I not so much afraid that she is leaving, im thinking, something has changed, like instead of seeing me long term and working with my issues and finishing what i started there, with my past,, with t1 and t2 and now her, that she will say that due to changes she can only see me short term and she can no longer work with my past issues. That can of worms has been opened, theres no way those worms can be contained.

Oh Sweepy

You know I have had similar things happen for me in T, and had opened that can with the previous T and she left suddenly and unexpectedly. That was why with my current T when he spoke of leaving I FREAKED OUT! Not because he is leaving, but because how do I put these worms away. I won't be able to this time. So I completely get where you are at hun.

Did T get back to you at all? Gee I hope this gets resolved soon. Sending you positive thoughts and kind

[sweepy62]

No I did not get a callback today, hopefully tomorrow , I don't want to think about this all weekend. The more she delays in calling, the more paranoid I get. I'm thinking with everything that's going on she will not want to work long term with me.



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