techniques failures

The one I see rarely does anything useful except sit there and not talk while I tell her things. Sometimes she seems unable to stop herself and she talks. She tried the What if you saw someone do X (the thing done to me) to a different child (or when she is really frustrated with me not blindly submitting - she throws in my dog). And the true answer for me usually is the same as if it was me - I genuinely do not find X (or Y or Z or blackacre) to be a blanketly terrible thing. It might could be terrible, but it really might just be okay not a big deal.
She has others that have failed too.
I think the thing I find frustrating is how stupid I think she must find me to think I would fall for such crap. And I wonder about her in that she keeps seeming to forget how I will react to such pathetic attempts to manipulate me.

What things have the therapists others see done that failed?

Well, previous T tried to get me to be angry at her, but I was determined not to be angry, and I can be a right stubborn creature when I want to be. Ended up hurting myself more in the end I think, and sacrificing what could have been a good relationship. Realistically, I suppose I didn't have a choice though. I had a boatload of maternal and related transferences with her.

He will often say "I am human,when you cut me I bleed" or "I don't have all the answers, you can challenge me" and I find that really irritating and patronising. I never ever hold him up as some kind of superhuman, and to be honest his faults are perfectly plain.
I guess he has had a lot of clients in the past who don't challenge his assertions but I bloody do, and it's annoying that he would assume I would blindly believe anything he tells me.

I think the absolute worst was a therapist that started talking to me as though I was a child, asking me if I'd like to take a toy home with me (her borderline hoarder office was packed with little plastic crap toys). I stopped her right then and there, said that was not going to happen, and left. I never went back.

I know the one therapist you see is frustrating to you, stopdog, but I have to thank you for keeping her off the streets (or out of someone's life) for at least one hour a week.

I am a giver.

HAHA! Awesome response SD!

I would say that occasionally my T will say something that ends up being triggering to me (but I think all T's do that accidentally on occasion). But the one major thing that she does that I only recently told her bugs me (I should have said something a long time ago) is that she says "poor thing!" in an attempt to be empathetic or show me that she understands what I am feeling. But I always hear it as a mild mocking or minimizing of how I am feeling, even though I logically know she doesn't mean it like that.

You guys crack me up

My ex cbt t asked me if I thought there were any incidence in childhood which might have caused my anxiety. I said, well, um, maybe....
And he actually said 'actually, don't tell me, we only have two more sessions and there's a lot to get through'

Funny guy, huh. What a jerk.

Thus whole thread made me laugh. Thanks. Some weird T's out there.

I wish there was a "like" button sometimes. Makes me realize maybe it's a good thing my T. doesn't want to talk as much.

The 1st T I saw tried to build up my self esteem by telling me all these great things about myself.. As ashamed as I am to admit it I fell for it for a few sessions but he was total BS...time will always tell someone's true colors

ExT told me I should give myself credit when I had accomplished something.
She also tried to talk me into believing that some of the things that I genuinely find most important don't matter that much and I should stop trying to achieve them.

Beyond irritating: One earlier PDoc liked to ask, "What would it hurt to trust me?"

Months later he abruptly terminated me.

At least I slammed his door on the way out.

Hah! SD my T last week tried the same technique but using my son!!

This time I raised my voice slightly and told him "I wish you would stop bringing my son into this space. It really pisses me off sometimes. He does not need to be a part of this ****!"

Stunned silence. lol

The worst is when my therapist asks what I want from therapy. ( and we are in deep therapy BTW) It always feels like she's thinking termination because I don't have enough going on. I replied recently by asking "How can I know the answer to such a deep psychiatric question?". It puts me on the defensive and seems threatening.

My first therapist was so full of himself. It was at a point where I just didn't feel like he 'got' me. I didn't feel understood at all. And I wanted to feel like he understood what was going on with me. So I told him I didn't feel like he was getting it. Then he started on this long thing where he tried to convince me that he liked me. I was just floored through the whole thing. I didn't give a flip whether he liked me. I wanted him to understand me... two totally different things in my estimation. So listening to all that turned my stomach.

And if Stopdog ever gets tired of lawyering, she oughta become a comedian

My first therapist wanted me to try "Crying Therapy." It may have made sense to her but it was as if she never met me.

Not my current therapist but one I saw briefly when it was mandatory to see the psychiatrist I had at the time: she tried that whole, "imagine yourself at ten or whatever age is sitting next to you, now say the things you say about yourself to her/would you say those things to her" (can't remember exactly how she worded it)

I just stared at her disdainfully. I'm not ten, I'm an adult, of course I would not say those things to a child. Those things don't even apply to myself as a child. What's your point? Am I supposed to feel guilty or something? I don't. This is me telling myself to go hang from the jungle gym or accidentally hit people in the shin with the skip ball or whatever it was I was doing at that age.

I'm sure I could think of other techniques that have been utter lead balloons for mental health professionals but that's my favorite attempt at borrowing straight from Psych 101

I don't know stopdog, I can see how your T was just trying to help. I think she asks you about children, or your dog, because she wants you to be able to connect with the pain you feel inside somehow. Sometimes seeing someone else go through something painful can help us connect to that same pain we have inside ourselves. It can also help us realize that we have many tender feeling about that hurt part of ourselves.

I expect, however, that you reject this invited perspective because it is overwhelming for you to experience that pain, or to connect with those protective feelings that you have toward that hurt part of yourself. I think that is very normal, and perhaps your therapist does not realize that this is difficult for you. I think you might be better helped by someone who can help you to simply understand and accept that there is something very painful going on inside you.

I also wonder if it is difficult for you to accept this hurt part of yourself because you are very critical of anything in yourself that you perceive as weakness. After I was sexually assaulted five years ago I had a very hard time accepting that I needed to leave school. I was very angry at myself for not being able to simply say,"what's the big deal, you really shouldn't let some messed up guy hurt you who can't even figure out how to respect basic human boundaries." I felt like such an idiot for allowing someone like that to effect me. It has taken me a long time to accept the fact that I was hurt in a very deep way by this person, and to see that it is not a failure on my part if I admit that I was hurt my him. I had the reaction I had, and that's ok. In fact I reacted very normally. I cannot expect myself to simply be invincible when something like that happens, I have to acknowledge the wounded part of myself, and that is truly the best thing I can do for myself--it is the only way I can help myself or heal from what happened. Learning to simply say "it hurt," is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

My t sometimes repeats crap over and over again to get a reaction, I just hold it in, until I call her out on it.

Or she talks to me as if I was a kid when we talked about trauma, I think she was even pouting which made me super mad.

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Regardless, she failed. It was and continues to be an ineffective technique to use on me.
And the question was about others experiences, I was not asking anything about input on my own situation.
Further your speculation about me is not correct.

I just wrote about this, but one T that I saw (for 2 sessions, dodged a bullet with her) noticed I was dissociating and said to me... "Are you dissociating now? STOP IT!". Ha - yeah - because that made me feel really safe and grounded (not!). Not a good technique!

There was another T that I had bounced in and out of his office a few times (saw him, liked him, didn't like him, tried some referrals he gave me, they didn't work out, landed back on his doorstep in sad shape). When I ended up back with him, he was leaving for a 2 week vacation... and decided I needed a transitional object. He gave me a rock to take home, keep during the vacation, and bring back. Oh heck no! I did not have ANY kind of attachment or alliance with him at that point, and the rock completely freaked me out. I took it home... WASHED IT (you know, b/c I didn't know how many other people people had touched it - lol!), wrapped it in paper towels so I didn't have to look at it, and stuck it in a corner somewhere.

The whole thought of bringing my T into my house was just... ICK. No, not good, not something I needed or wanted. We just didn't have a close enough relationship yet, it was weird and too much!

Oh the joys of attempted therapy.

Tell me about it every one this one t I.had dug into me too.much by asking me about a job he has no right to.ask me about that one so I.stopped seeing him and he got transferred to.another facility far away from me . I.can't stand my old t who was a male who.didn't respect me as a person at all . I.rather have a female t instead of a male t .