How to tell brand new T that I SI'd after first session? *TRIGGERS*

I went to my first session on Tuesday and everything was fine. My mind went into doctor mode because it was just getting my diagnosis and everything established, which I do once a year anyways. So I kinda feel like I turn into a drone at that time. I told her about how my days start out fine and by night I'm feeling horrible. She seems nice and so I have my next appointment with her tomorrow. She told me she has to establish safety, that's her first priority. She said I was bordering the red zone. After knowing that, I can't possibly tell her. Or the extent of it either. It's not just a couple. It's the whole side of my thigh. During my "high" or whatever, I figured why not just email her and tell her now while I'm feeling.. away? enough to not care enough to be scared.

It's only our second session tomorrow. I don't want to tell her because I'm assuming that will put me in the red zone since I finally acted upon impulse and I don't want to know what the red zone is. I'm just going to go ahead and assume she recommends you go to the hospital, but those are seriously pointless because I'm a really good actor when I start to freak out and want out. Which is like 2 seconds after I walk into the unit.

Part of me feels like I should just cancel my appointments with her because I feel like I'm unfixable and nothing can save me at this point.

Everything can save you at this point. Maybe she can save you, or at least support you while you save yourself. Your SI sounds very painful, big big hugs if you want them.
But at least it was on your thigh... You might not be referred to the unit at this stage because it wasn't on your wrist/neck etc...I don't know how she will assess the risk.
But I really really think you should tell her, maybe even show her of you can. She might as well know what she's up against and you need to be honest to get the help you need.
I know it's scary. I'm so sorry you are going through this. But if you think you like your new t, and that you might get some work done together, lay your cards on the table I reckon.
Xxxxx

Honestly, I probably wouldn't say anything a t hi point. I'm not an advocate of concealing things from a T, but this T doesn't know you yet.

I wouldn't tell her yet but do ask what being in the red zone means. What action she has to take and what planning you two can do.

I never tell my T if I SI only a few times I couldn't hide it and one of those times she put me in the hosp for a week .not a fan of that at all. I agree with others she doesn't know you yet so may over react to the SI.

I'm not sure what the 'best' thing to do is. But I do know that some sessions are very triggering. I rarely cut, but sometimes I do. And I don't tell him. I just say I was very upset afterwards. It justgives him an idea that strong stuff is coming up to the surface and has to be let out carefully. Ugh. It sucks.

Spew. I'm sorry you are struggling so much. I would algal stiffest finding out what she means by "red zone" and maybe asking her about her attitudes and reactions to self harm. For me is a large and looming problem almost all the time, so that one of the first things I ask about. I ask hypothetically and depending on their reaction, I will disclose or not disclose details.
Perhaps after establishing what red zone is to her, and what it means, you guys could go over a safety plan if you intend to stay seeing her?
Is not that things can't be fixed, you just have to find the right person to help you through things.

I would not tell the therapist.

I'm with the others here in that I wouldn't tell your T about SI if this means she'll hospitalize you. I would also want to know what red zone implies, I've never heard a T use this term before.

Don't cancel your appointments - your not unfixable, I'm sure therapy can help everyone in some way, even if it's not a complete fix. It sounds like you felt a lot of emotion after your first session? I feel a lot of emotions after my sessions, and it is really hard to deal with, and very hard each time to go back. I've never cut or done anything to deal with my emotions (I haven't really felt any strong emotions for years - maybe that's why they are such a shock to me). I have no way of dealing with the emotion except to curl up in a foetal postition (I do that sometimes when I come back) and sometimes I cry. I say this to let you know that you are not alone. Hope the second session went ok.

You may want to say you SI'd but not that bad.

Hey, you're not unfixable! This T may yet be the one to do so. Don't give up hope

I also wouldn't tell her about SH at this point. It's just too early and I would wait till we're more acquainted before revealing such personal information. Do ask her what she means by the "red zone" though.