[lunatic soul]

Good things:
*I have talked to some great people here who had similar experiences and it's always nice to meet someone who feels like you.
* Sometimes I need other opinions and there is no other place to get them about therapy.
*Sometimes it's okay just to get vitual hugs when you feel so down.
*It's really interesting to read other people experiences.

Bad things:
*It made me more obsessed with my T.
*It made me feel little bit jealuos to them who have caring Ts.
*It made me feel desperate because I read that others were hugged by their Ts but my T rejected me in the end.
*It makes me remember my T everytime I check in and make me think about him too much

What about you?

I find I really want to tLk about my Therapy and my therapist and there is no one in my life I can really do this with. However, like you I wonder if it feeds my obsession.

[MrPink182]

I agree 100% with everything you said.

I am unsure if my therapy is working or not.
I have become more "in love" with my psychologist.
I am so jealous of other people in here when they post cool stuff the T does. (makes you feel cared for, etc)

[JaneTennison1]

It's made me really thankful and happy with the boundaries my T has. I appreciate them in a different way.

[musinglizzy]

I came here before I started therapy to learn more... really, all I learned is that every experience is different, and that is true. I have been seeing my T for about 6 months now, and I will say that because of this forum, I went into therapy with some preconceived notions that were untrue....again, because everyone is different. But coming here also gave me ideas on questions to ask her when I was getting started. I knew I should ask about boundaries, for example, but for some reason it was hard to outright ask, so I've learned as I've gone along. I'm still learning. Really, my T doesn't have a standard list of boundaries. She has boundaries depending on the client. She hugs me. She'll sit beside me and hold me. But she won't do that with everyone, because she thinks some may benefit from that kind of care, where others it could do damage. We were just talking about some boundaries last week, and I told her I probably should have asked in the beginning, and she said I never would have believed her until now. She will share personal information/stories about herself, because she got a read on me from the beginning (which I find interesting, as I've never really thought about it) that I was the type of person who was going to need to know her in order to open up and trust her. To demonstrate to me that she is just another person, not this intimidating psychologist. So although many T's don't talk about themselves, she saw something about me that told her she was going to have to share a bit of herself in my sessions, or I wasn't going to believe a word she said. She must have done something right, because I have full trust in her.

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

really, all I learned is that every experience is different, and that is true.

Yes, this. I knew that before I found this forum, but it really drives that truth home.

[stopdog]

It completely reinforces my belief none of them know what they are doing, it is all guesswork and luck and that the therapist rarely has anything to do with someone thinking they got better even though so many on this board seem to give the therapist credit. I find I think the therapist getting credit is unwarranted.
Sometimes it makes me more cynical than I already am about therapists/therapy.

[Partless]

I know I've been wasting a lot of time here. It's become an obsession for me to read other people's views, to say what I think of something. Happily I can add this forum to the long list of obsessions when my next T works on my OCD stuff with me.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I find this place to be a healthy outlet for me. It's a place where I can get my thoughts out of my head or concentrate on someone else for awhile. I do find I'm slightly obsessed, but I'm not worried. When I get the courage to "get a life", I won't need these forums as much. Also, I really love to read others pov. Whether I agree or not, I like challenging my own thoughts/beliefs/perspectives.

[JaneTennison1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

It completely reinforces my belief none of them know what they are doing, it is all guesswork and luck and that the therapist rarely has anything to do with someone thinking they got better even though so many on this board seem to give the therapist credit. I find I think the therapist getting credit is unwarranted.
Sometimes it makes me more cynical than I already am about therapists/therapy.

I wouldn't bother showing up each week and paying for therapy if it wasn't helpful. My T for sure doesn't have all the answers but I clearly can't better on my own as I haven't in 15 years.

[NowhereUSA]

I think it fostered a weird fascination with the therapeutic relationship for me. I don't think it caused it, but I found this forum when I had questions about some things and it was like a freaking rabbit hole. I still pop on here, but I don't analyze my relationship with my T as much. So it helped me get through some insecurities. Made me overthink a few things. It's also taught me a few things too (like when we eventually move some red flags to watch out for with Ts).

[always_wondering]

I was completely green when I entered therapy. I did all the things that annoy therapists and I had no idea. I had obsessions that I thought were mine only. Then I found this forum and it normalized everything for me and I learned many do's and don't s . I am very thankful for this forum.

[Utterly]

Where would therapists spy on the private "I wish I could tell you this, but..." thoughts of clients except by this forum?

Seriously though, I think the best part of the forum is where someones anxiety about raising an issue is soothed. The worst part is the obsessional echo, and the feelings of jealousy about other peoples therapy (like allowing hugs,texts/emails etc.)

Its way too easy for us all to go down a rabbit hole of why does X get Y and not me? We're all in different psychological places and 'need' different things, and we are mostly outliers anyway. Typical therapy lengths on average are about 3-6 sessions, these days.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by Utterly

Typical therapy lengths on average are about 3-6 sessions, these days.

Seriously? Interesting statistic....

[Partless]

I would be interested in the source for "3-6 sessions" also. Mayo Clinic says typical length for CBT is 10-20 sessions. And that's short term therapy. Other forms of therapy are longer. Cognitive behavioral therapy What you can expect - Tests and Procedures - Mayo Clinic

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Seriously? Interesting statistic....

It is not the correct statistic in my jurisdiction. 15-22 is the statistic cited around here for short term cbt stuff. I would never go near cbt again, so I don't pay much attention or much thought to statistics about it. Often, from what I have read, people go once or twice and decide therapy or the therapist is not for them - but that is different from length of time someone sees a therapist once having decided to keep doing it.

[The_little_didgee]

It gets me thinking about my therapy. I've learned a lot about feelings here. Feelings used to be just feelings. Now I can see their foundation. Sometimes a thread will help me see my issues for what they really are, not what I think they are.

I'm so glad that I'm not obsessed with my therapist or want her to replace my mother. Therapy is already stressful and overwhelming without all that.

[Utterly]

In 2003:

What is the average length of therapy (how many sessions)?

The average length of therapy is fewer than 12 sessions: "Epidemiological studies show that the majority of patients in psychotherapy have a relatively small number of therapy sessions. The average duration of a psychotherapy is put at between five and eight sessions." International Psychoanalysis Newsletter http://194.201.138.26/newsletter/99-1/D2.htm

"Research shows that the average length of psychotherapy treatment is 6-10 sessions." Arizona Psychological Association http://www.azpa.org/gi.html

"Even when psychiatric care is free, only 4.3% of the population uses outpatient psychotherapy, and the average length of treatment is 11 sessions." American Psychoanalytical Association apsa-co.org

Durations have only gotten shorter since then due to (A) increased pressure from insurers and (B) increased use of brief techniques - Brief solution focused therapy, Motivational interviewing and brief psychodynamic techniques.

The biggest skewing to the numbers are always the client "second thinkers," who show up for an appraisal but never return (and that's not counting the people who call, chat then make an appointment and never show.)

(I'll dig up the 3 to 6 session stat. I think it was related to a TAU vs DBT study iirc.)

[stopdog]

I interviewed over 30 of them in the past 4 years - I am hiring them for a job and I consider the phone and first appointment to be my assessment of the therapist. I only went once to most of them. I kept on seeing two of the many I interviewed. Every so often I still go check out another one.

[guilloche]

I find therapy exceptionally difficult. This forum feels a bit like a support group for therapy, for me!

Lots of failed therapy way back in my past. I don't know if this time will work, but I've told this therapist WAY more... like huge amounts of important things (some just in writing). Some of that was me realizing that trying to hide that stuff, as I did in previous therapy, wasn't working - but I also honestly think I couldn't have done it without the support of people here.

And... sometimes I refer to "people on the forum" in therapy. My T kept asking, "what forum"... apparently, he thought it was a forum for people who *hate* therapy. (*oops*). Sigh. I have no idea how he came up with that one...

It has no influence on me. I use it less and less

[Soccer mom]

It used to have a large influence on me when I started therapy. I was looking for answers to my crazy feelings. I had to remind myself that my T. is NOT going to be like everyone else's.
The absolute best influence the forum has had is encouraging me to tell my T. everything. When I first had the transference, I didn't want to tell her. I would be months behind if not for everyone's encouraging posts.
I feel like I'm on the other side of transference now (momentarily, I'm sure LOL) so now I'm mainly on out of interest vs looking for answers. And, hopefully I can help the newbies!