Would you judge your t?

Partless · Nov 07, 2014, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Would you be more put off by a clinician with a tattoo sleeve, or with si scars? I guess even with the tattoo I would likely wear long sleeves for my clients, but in the event of short sleeves happening, what would turn you off more: the judgements around (pg-rated) body art, or the judgements around scarring?

Sorry for your mental health issues, and thanks for your work in the field.

I would find scars a little triggering obviously. The tattoos you describe probably will not trigger me but might look to me as somewhat unprofessional. But that's me, and perhaps tattoos are not seen as unusual for others (or maybe some, depending on their personal issues, could get triggered by them).

The thing with tattoos is I think I kind of have to see it to know how I react to it. If they are PG rated like you say and don't look particularly violent or sexual or aren't too distracting because of, say, color, or aren't all over the arm, or don't contain words or phrases that trigger, then I would not even see it as unprofessional.

I saw a therapist very briefly who had the word "peace" tattooed on his lower arm, in several languages (like Japanese, Arabic, etc) and liked it quite a bit and even wanted to get it done myself.

ScarletPimpernel · Nov 07, 2014, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

I've been following this thread and reading through everyone's responses. I want to thank you Red for posing this question. I worked in mental health for roughly 15 years before I stepped out of it due to my own issues. In that time, I went through various stages of being ok with my si scars. They had been at least 10 years old at the time I started in the field, but I remember not wearing short sleeves for a good 5 years while at work. After that, I was less consciously aware of the scars and would be less careful about my wardrobe choice. While my scars are not overly noticable, if you happen to look at my arm in the right lighting, or you look for more than a glance, they are visible. I want to get tattoos to cover the scars. I have wanted this for quite some time, but it's costly, so I haven't done it yet.

Would you be more put off by a clinician with a tattoo sleeve, or with si scars? I guess even with the tattoo I would likely wear long sleeves for my clients, but in the event of short sleeves happening, what would turn you off more: the judgements around (pg-rated) body art, or the judgements around scarring?

I do have tattoos on the areas I have SI'ed. I didn't do it so they can't be seen (some of the scars have no ink on them). I did it as a visual reminder and deterrent. But the scars are still visible at the right angle and lighting. If anyone is going to get a tattoo over scars, make sure you find someone who is skilled at it. I talked to the owner at the shop beforehand so he could help me find the best artist for me and to make sure my scars could be tattooed. And go in knowing what you want and bring pictures. It really makes a difference.

tenace · Nov 08, 2014, 12:57 PM

I would love it..i always look at my nurses etc..and try to figure out if they actually empathise

msxyz · Nov 08, 2014, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Partless

Well, obviously SI is more serious.

Judging doesn't necessarily indicate a moral component. People could judge a therapist as incompetent, for instance.

You are right, it was just the post I was replying to insinuating that not wanting to see a therapist with scars is akin to judging them as bad in moral terms. My understanding of the word was incorrect, thanks for pointing that out.

msxyz · Nov 08, 2014, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red75

I spoke to my t about this thread yesterday, and about my misgivings of feeling that I could appropriately support clients. She said that surely the hands of someone who has suffered and come through it are the safest hands to be in?

I don't agree with that statement at all, I think qualities such as compassion, competence or a being responsible and emotionally mature are far more important to being able to help than having overcome extreme suffering.

It might actually be an impediment to helping when the therapist automatically assumes to know what one's individual experience of anything, life, is like. Then they might think they know better than the client him/herself how they feel and how they're impacted. It might also lead to arrogance in the therapist and invalidation of one's experience such as hopelessness at being able to get better, because after all if they could do it then you can,too, so why take it seriously?

msxyz · Nov 08, 2014, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Would you be more put off by a clinician with a tattoo sleeve, or with si scars? I guess even with the tattoo I would likely wear long sleeves for my clients, but in the event of short sleeves happening, what would turn you off more: the judgements around (pg-rated) body art, or the judgements around scarring?

I'd be put off by a tattoo sleeve,too, just for other reasons.

Nov 08, 2014, 02:56 PM

Awesomely Interesting Thread ...

Thanks!

Freewilled · Nov 08, 2014, 05:34 PM

I think obesity and smoking are just as harmful and as serious (they are just more socially acceptable). Heck - with smoking, the scars are just internal and proven to cause severe damage to internal organs. And obesity also has the health risks and can't be hidden. I think that SI, depending on how superficial it is, could be or not be a risk for suicide. It depends. And it's done to manage intense emotional pain, not as a means for Sui.

Nonetheless, smoking and obesity are slow suicide IMO. And a T who has smoking or obesity (due to overeating) struggles is using unhealthy coping mechanisms. Isn't that the issue? Having a T who struggles like that emotionally? Or am I missing what the aversion would be?

StressedMess · Nov 08, 2014, 05:41 PM

I love tattoos and I've seen a few truly beautiful and tasteful, a few truly horrible, and a bunch I just thought "meh." I still stick with my tolerant stance, it's not my arm and they're not my scars or tattoos, therefore not my business. I have judged on appearances in the past, but I'd like to think I've outgrown that habit.

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