[nutters]

So I'm curious how long of a silence does your T allow before they ask what you're thinking? Do they ask what you're thinking or say something else? How do you respond to this?

When I'm silent or can't talk, I tend to look around the room or just look down. My T will within a minute or two at most, ask me what I'm thinking. I'm either blank, in between a thought or just don't want to say what I'm thinking... which I'm supposed to. He stares at me when I'm not talking.

My previous T would let me go forever without talking, she would just stay silent. She wouldn't really stare, she would look at me a bit and then look down.

[stopdog]

5-10 minutes or so for the first one. The second talks sooner

[Ellahmae]

Depends. Some sessions can't talk and just need the peace and silence and safety so we both just sit there. She writes I daze. Other times if it's an active session usually only a couple of mins.

[ejayy78]

I think if I'm quiet AND not looking at her, she would probably sit in silence until I decided to say something. But if I look at her, she asks what I'm thinking

[bugbear83]

Mine only lets about... 30 seconds go by before she "brings me back". Sometimes with a question, other times with a relevant statement where she tells me how i'm feeling lol. It's kind of annoying since a lot of times when I clam up it's because I either have run out of things to say or I'm trying not to cry. I can't talk while I'm crying.

[velcro003]

my first T could probably sit an entire session in silence with me. I think the longest I went in silence was a good 5 minutes before I squirmed enough and would constantly say "I don't know what to talk about." This therapy didn't help me.

my current T will let me sit in silence for about a minute or two, and then will ask what i am thinking, or some other question related to what we were talking about. i prefer this greatly, and she knows how difficult the first therapy was for me in me being able to talk.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I usually don't go silent. Once I didn't know what to talk about, and she thought I just didn't want to talk and got frustrated. Two other times I shut down. I get so upset where I can't talk. First time she just kept talking to me as if I was actually participating in the conversation. Then she finally became silent. Then she asked dumb questions like "Do you hear me?" "What do you think about...?" The second time I shut down, she said "Are you shutting down?" And then she went silent for 5 mins until I could speak again.

What she doesn’t seem to understand, though I've told her more than once, that when I shut down I need her to not be silent. I hate silence. But instead of sticking to whatever topic made me shut down, she needs to change it to something else. It could be anything else: how are my dogs, what do you think of the weather, how was your weekend. Something neutral. Once I calm down, then she can go back to the original topic and try again.

[Shaly78]

Change the subject. What u in for?

Why is therapist quiet? Well therapist is doing job for a reason must have passion. It is there job! Wait, till u have that comfort level.

[skeksi]

My T will let me be silent for as long as I choose to be. I've probably gone close to an entire session before, but it gets to be painful for me because I want to talk but I'm also afraid of it. Even though I sometimes find it frustrating, I think it's really helpful that he lets me control when I talk.

[WrkNPrgress]

I've never let this silence happen. I always feel the need to speak. I wonder what would happen if I were silent. She would probably wait a while before speaking.

[ruh roh]

It's only happened a couple times and, mercifully, not long...maybe half a minute, which feels eternal at the time because there's usually no dead air between us. I think she asked me what was going on or something like that. I would hate it if she just sat there and waited for me to say something.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

About five minutes and then she will ask if I am ok or what I am thinking. When I go silent for more than a minute its when I am trying to keep myself from crying because I can't talk when I cry.

[nutters]

Interesting responses so far. I'm not a fan of being asked what I'm thinking but I probably wouldn't mind it as much if he gave me another couple minutes before asking.

[atisketatasket]

Both of them go about 30 seconds when it happens. Which it does at least a dozen times a session, so they've actually speeded up from a minute or so because it's so common.

I would not say they stare at me. They do look at me, but their expressions are concerned.

[junkDNA]

i used to sit in silence for long periods of time with my T. he would mostly just sit there with me. that was in the beginning. these days it depends on the context of what we are talking about.

[brillskep]

Pretty much no silence. My therapist and I are both VERY talkative. If I'm very touched or if one of us needs to gather their thoughts, it may be 5, 10 seconds at most. Maybe with one or two exceptions in 5 years when I physically couldn't talk and he was quieter. If I physically can't talk and I'm really affected it helps to have him say something with empathy, but when I'm just gathering my thoughts I sometimes wish he would give me longer to really have a contact with myself before I react.

[divine1966]

I only see my t about once in three weeks and that time is precious. There is no silence between us. I finally see her today and know already I have 100 things to talk about and limited time. The only time I don't talk it's when she talks or few times i cried but I actually talked a bit through tears

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

No silence in my sessions either. I always feel like I have 100x more to talk about than time, and similar amount of motivation to do it. I actually would like to slow myself down a bit in the future because I realize that at times it may not be easy to follow me.

Too long!!!! I don't like silence at all. I think my T is finally figuring out that the silence only makes me more anxious.

[Moreta]

With my new t, she kinda blows me away each session, so I'll end up silent, just trying to process everything. She asks me if I'm ok and I'm always like "yeah, just mind blown" haha she gets me.

Less than a minute. She will say "tell me what youre thinking."

[vonmoxie]

Mine's never, that I can think of. I try to wait it out, mostly because I'm curious to see if he's really been listening, but eventually it's me that has to break a long silence, re-engage the conversation, lest we just sit there burning time and money like they're s'mores.

[Suraya]

Sometimes the silence feels like an eternity! I don't look at the clock, but maybe the longest has been 10 minutes. I hate it!

[ThingWithFeathers]

Not very long. Maybe ten seconds, or until I look at her and smile awkwardly

She talks quite a bit, so silences are few and far between. I think I would like them more often and for longer.

[AllHeart]

Mine will go until I make a face expressing my awkward discomfort. If I didn't make the face, she would probably stare at me forever.