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#1
Nov 12, 2014, 08:52 PM
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I really try to respect LCM's personal space. I really want to just run up to LCM and touch her and hug her and sit at the base of her chair to be near her. But I don't just do all of that because well I don't know if it would be welcome or not. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I ask for hugs. Last time she held me tight for a good while and I just wish I could run up and touch her like a little girl greeting her mom when she comes home from work.
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 Depletion, rainbow8, SoupDragon
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#2
Nov 12, 2014, 08:56 PM
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It seems like your T is ok with this, if she wasn't she would say something.
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#3
Nov 12, 2014, 08:57 PM
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Well I said I don't do all of that. I just wish I could. I asked before the long hug last time. |
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#4
Nov 12, 2014, 09:26 PM
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Hmm... could you talk to her about it, so you know how she feels, and use that to decide what to do in the future? Like... ask her what she'd do if you just greeted her with a hug one day, instead of asking her first, if she'd be ok with it? That way you can maybe get an idea of whether she'd welcome it, and if so, you can spontaneously hug her in the future to your heart's content, without having to worry as much?
Or am I missing the point (sorry if so!) |
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#5
Nov 12, 2014, 09:27 PM
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The last time we met, I asked for a hug. She said she could hug me then. I asked how many hugs I could get and she said one. She wants me to talk and not act on my desires |
| guilloche
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#6
Nov 12, 2014, 09:48 PM
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I like to sit on the floor in the therapy room sometimes. It really does bring up those little kid feelings it me. I totally get where you are coming from.
__________________
Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah --leonard cohen |
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#7
Nov 12, 2014, 10:34 PM
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She wants to get work done with me and I want to get work done too, but when I think about her or see her, I mostly just want to be her child that she takes care of and all off effort goes into that. |
| HowDoYouFeelMeow?, precaryous
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 precaryous
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#8
Nov 12, 2014, 10:37 PM
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__________________
Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah --leonard cohen |
| precaryous
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#9
Nov 12, 2014, 10:38 PM
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I always wonder if she'd visit me in the hospital if I got into a horrible accident. Like a family member would. I don't know why I wonder that. |
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#10
Nov 12, 2014, 10:45 PM
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| musinglizzy
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#11
Nov 12, 2014, 10:55 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah --leonard cohen |
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#12
Nov 13, 2014, 12:58 AM
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| IndestructibleGirl
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| Depletion, precaryous
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#13
Nov 13, 2014, 09:13 AM
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It's best to tell her about what you wish you did, and then talk about it. You have a huge maternal transference going on, and the way to work through that is to keep talking about it. The more you trust that your LC cares about you the easier it will hopefully get to accept that she's your LC and that you can have that strong caring relatioship with her without trying to coerce her into acting like a mom.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#14
Nov 13, 2014, 10:12 AM
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I have a strong urge to hold my therapist, which is weird. I even had a dream about it the other night, where I was looking for him thinking 'wow, I really want to hug this guy.' I don't generally want to hug anyone else.
I agree with Red Panda, probably best to talk about. I think if I went for the no warning physical contact with mine he might push me away and lose some trust and comfort around me. I'm hoping to build some courage to discuss at least my dream. |
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#15
Nov 13, 2014, 10:23 AM
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I don't really need to coerce her into acting like a mom. Our session today was a complete disaster. LCM forgot the keys to her office so I walked with her across the street to her car. On the way, there was a set of train tracks. She crossed over them. I tried to follow, tripped, landed squarely on the rail, and had trouble getting up again. A train was coming. She started screaming and frantically tried to help pull me up. It took me too long but I did manage to get up and she helped push me off the track. We were scared and crying. She put me in her car and drove me to school. We worked on cleaning my dorm room today. She kept saying things like a mom would say about how messy my room is. We'll continue working on it next week. The mom stuff happens naturally and it's on her side too. |
| Depletion
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#16
Nov 13, 2014, 01:27 PM
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Holy crap! Thats why they say NEVER cross rr tracks! Now i dont feel like such a scaredy cat for never crossing the tracks behind my apartment. Even tho like millions of people do every day. I am SO my father's daughter sometimes, its pathetic. But im glad youre okay.
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#17
Nov 13, 2014, 04:24 PM
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I wouldn't have done that normally. I hope that LCM won't do that again either. It was scary. She was yelling to get me off the tracks and pulling me and I cried like I was 5 years old and hit my head on something. And now it's hours later and I realize that I could have died. If the train conductor didn't see me and slow down and LCM ran to save herself, it would have hit me |
| unaluna
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#18
Nov 13, 2014, 06:13 PM
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What on earth were the two of you doing crossing the railroad track with a train that near? There's always warnings about trains coming and they give enough time to handle things like that.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#19
Nov 13, 2014, 07:06 PM
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This sounds kind of crazy, and really dangerous. If you are not exaggerating when you say that it would have hit you if LCM hadn't helped you up and the train driver hadn't seen you - there's something not right about this, you should not have been cutting it so fine with the train coming?? And why did you trip? Do you have mobility issues? If you do (for example, a friend of mine has just had surgery to have her wonky hip aligned, and she's only in her twenties) I assume LCM knows about them and should be not rushing across railway tracks?
It sounds like you both got a hell of a fright. I would worry that if things like this happen again, LCM will wonder if you are unconsciously engineering unsafe situations for her to rescue you from?
__________________
Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I I got a war in my mind ~ Lana Del Rey How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone ~ Coco Chanel One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman ~ Simone de Beauvoir |
| Middlemarcher
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#20
Nov 13, 2014, 07:55 PM
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We didn't see it when we were crossing. If I hadn't tripped, there wouldn't have been a timing issue at all. I don't have a mobility issue. I'm just super klumsy and didn't see the ditch before the rail and couldn't regain footing on the gravel. I felt nervous about cutting across it but I didn't say anything and just followed her. |
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#21
Nov 13, 2014, 10:08 PM
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Always listen to those internal, intuitive sensations of warning. |
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#22
Nov 13, 2014, 10:40 PM
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Yeah I'll tell her in the future before something like that happens again. I hope she gets over being mad soon. She's mad at me for living in filth after seeing my room. |
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#23
Nov 13, 2014, 10:54 PM
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Did she tell you she was "mad at you" or are you assuming she is?
T's and I guess "LC's"  are there to offer support and help you learn healthy ways to go about your life.. Not "get mad " ..... Thats is unproductive and certainly isn't ethical. Guide , support , teach coping skills ... NOT be "mad" at a client. Maybe your LC has a different agenda "helping you"?
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ Last edited by ~Christina; Nov 14, 2014 at 12:12 AM. |
| A Red Panda, anilam
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#24
Nov 13, 2014, 11:50 PM
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She isn't an LC she is an LCM. And I think many can agree that an "M" might get mad when she sees her college-age child living in a filthy bedroom.
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#25
Nov 14, 2014, 12:10 AM
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Yeah. She kept saying "if I were actually your mother, I'd yell at you for this. And I am. You can't let yourself live like this." Then she toned it down, saying that I'm clearly extremely depressed and I need to never stop taking the anti depressant again. She warned me in the car that she would probably be upset by it. I told her that I wanted to work on being more hygienic and since she's driving me home anyway, getting at my bedroom would be the first place to start. She agreed, was predictably horrified, helped me a little, set some goals for next week, and wants to come back and help more. |
| Bill3
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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