Awkward ending to a session

Hi, I'm new(ish) here, I was wondering how other people end individual therapy sessions.

My last therapy session was really good except for the ending. I spent just under fifty minutes going over stuff with my T. Typically a session is fifty minutes so I knew it was time to leave and wasn't suprised when my T mentioned that time was almost up and discussed the general timing of the next appointment. My T 's office has a receptionist who handles appointments, so I book my next one before I leave the office.

Anyways, after this my T mentions that time is up, I say o.k and grab my book-bag, but I'm still sitting in the chair waiting for him to move (usually he opens door) anyways he's still sitting in his chair holding his note pad (which I've always wanted to see what he's writing.) So he repeats that time is up and I say o.k. again, still waiting for him to move. He says time is up again (the third time) and finally starts to get out of his chair, at which I immediately spring to my feet, which would have been fine except the weight of my book-bag caused me to fall back into the chair. So he ends up giving me this wierd look and asking if I'm alright.

In the end he ended up walking with me to the receptionist to ensure I could book my next appointment, so I'm a little confused over the multiple session ending comments. I was wondering how other people end sessions? Is it a social norm that I'm missing that when my T says a session's over I should just stand up and walk out?

(Oh my gosh I just realized how long this is- sorry- I can't believe I wrote so much about this.)

hehehe tis ok with me I think your T got into a time warp or something like he was making note of something but also saying time? I wouldn't worry about it, even if he makes it a habit... sorry it upset you so. TC

If you can I wouldn't worry any more about it. I imagine he was doing something else when time was up and didn't think about opening the door. Maybe next time if he doesn't move to open the door you could stand and do it yourself or walk over to the door and maybe he willl understand to open it? Sometimes things do get a little awkward after talking about such personal things and then getting back into normal, everyday things. Try not to let it make you upset. It is ok. Take care.

My T usually doesn't say time is up. He has lately though because I haven't been paying attention. When he grabs my folder to write whatever he writes, that is a sign that time is up.

One of us gets up first, usually he does, and he opens the door and out I go.

I wouldn't worry, you were being polite.

I don't think there's any particular way a session "has" to end; I think it's between the pair, you two. Sounds like you got comfortable with a certain routine/pattern you saw the two of you doing instead of just your response alone. So, when he didn't do his "half" in your mind, you didn't know what to do :-)

I'd start the next session with relating what happened to you so he knows you like the routine and that can be shared between you? Obviously he didn't know what was going on :-) so I'd share your "half" and help make it a whole/shared moment.

I always have a hard time transitioning from the end of the session back to 'normal' life. I usually pay at the end of everysession, so my T will say that time's about up and that's my cue to pick up my purse and write out a check. The short time it takes me to write out the check kindof helps me transition from thinking about all the serious stuff back into the day-to-day world that we have to function in.

My T knows I need extra time to adjust back to the "cruel" world... he has to give me a five minute notice, not just "our time's up for today" line. I take it anyway...and that would make him late for the next stuff he has to do...so he remembers to give me the time out of my time.

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Marie31 said:
I usually pay at the end of everysession, so my T will say that time's about up and that's my cue to pick up my purse and write out a check.

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That's interesting. I always pay at the beginning of every session. T says that's so when we finish up, the focus is on me and our work, not on the mechanics of payment. But with my old T, I paid at the end. I am kind of glad to pay at the beginning because sometimes the sessions can be so draining or engaging, I might forget if it was at the end. One time I did forget to pay at the beginning and then our session was over and I was saying bye and walking right out the door and he caught me, like hey, you need to pay. Whoops.

I always pay for the 2 sessions at the end of the first session. It told me over a yr before I would allow T to announce "Ok times up" . I would know exactly when time was about to be up and I would say "Ok we're finished" Then one day I told T I couldn't let her say it, I had to say it. T said it felt like her ending the sessions was a rejection? I said yes.

Bit by bit I held my breathe and allowed T to end the sessions, now I'm fine with it. But I still spring up of the seat immediately like a toy soildier. Then I walk out and downstairs first.

But since T's had builders in I've asked her to go first as I dont like meeting the builders face to face.

Interesting thread! I agree that bringing up the awkwardness of leaving last time would be a good way to start the next session.

My therapist always says time's up, and I pretty much just walk out at that point. I might make one more serious remark if I feel like it's essential to the session, but mostly I'll just say something innocuous about going back to work or the weather or something like that as I'm walking out. General pleasantries (would feel weird to walk out in total silence). It works. I guess I transition very quickly from serious & personal to pleasant & innocuous. I think I'm good with boundaries -- like very aware of them and careful not to cross.

I only pay my therapist once a month so it isn't really part of the session ritual. When I pay him I usually do so as I walk in the door so I don't forget (I make the check out before I come into the session).

Sidony

When time was up, my therapist always gave me time to gather my stuff and then he walked me out. He always walked to the elevator with me to make sure I didn't get lost (because he knew I had a lousy sense of direction). My therapist's office was in a huge pscyh hospital and it was like a labyrinth.

Actually, one of the first times I went to see him, I got off on the wrong floor and followed a maintenance guy through a door and then realized I was in the wrong place and there was no way out because the door was locked. It was a high security locked ward. I had to find a nurse and tell her where I was supposed to be and my therapist had to come and find me and take me out of the locked ward. I felt like such an idiot at first, but my T and I laughed about it.

I think that if your T usually walks you out to the receptionist's desk, he should continue doing that... or let you know that he's not going to do that anymore. I'm not surprised you were confused and feeling awkward. Maybe he was having a bad day and was just kind of spaced out and forgetful. Maybe he forgot that he usually opens the door for you. We all get forgetful like that sometimes... even therapists.

Thanks for your replies, I feel better now. I think that I might have been overthinking the situation, (I have a tendency to do this.) I might try discussing it with my T at the next appointment but most likely I'll be to scared to bring it up.

I overthink things too. I think that's something a lot of us here have in common.

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sunrise said:
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Marie31 said:
I usually pay at the end of everysession, so my T will say that time's about up and that's my cue to pick up my purse and write out a check.

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That's interesting. I always pay at the beginning of every session. T says that's so when we finish up, the focus is on me and our work, not on the mechanics of payment. But with my old T, I paid at the end. I am kind of glad to pay at the beginning because sometimes the sessions can be so draining or engaging, I might forget if it was at the end. One time I did forget to pay at the beginning and then our session was over and I was saying bye and walking right out the door and he caught me, like hey, you need to pay. Whoops.

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I always pay when I first walk into the room, so it is taken care of... you never know what can happen at the end of a session. My T usually keeps me for an hour. He will usually warn me when we only have a few minutes left because I have this great "habit" of bringing up something really important or earth-shattering 3 minutes before the session ends. After the "5 minute or so warning" we usually both know when the ending comes, and nothing is really said. I just get up, he gets up, and sometime he'll say "same time next week?" only that's actually a joke because he knows I'll always be there, same day, same time. Wow, I'm rambling like hell.

Oh and I will edit to add that I have a really hard time transitioning back to "real life," too. It usually takes me about 7 days or so, in which time my next therapy session is here, lol.

I paid at the end and "never" forgot except one time. . . I was thinking about the session as I was going to sleep that night and sprang up in bed with a shout when I realized I had forgotten to pay her :-) I had to get up immediately and address an envelope and get it in the mail, right away. It was kind of funny.

Pink - I had to smile when I read your post about having a hard time transitioning from therapy back to real life and by the time you've make the transition it's time for your next session. That sounds so like me. But, since lately I've only seen my T every other week my mind kind-of extends the process. The first week I keep going over the last session over and over. Then the week prior to my next session I obsess over what I'm going to talk about in the new session! I think I might freak my T out if she knew just how much time I spent thinking about this stuff.

My T usually walks out with me to the waiting room because I have no sense of direction and she needs to get the next client. I suspect that your T may have not had another appointment immediately afterwards and was intending to sit and write up the progress note and didn't realize that he/she was breaking a pattern. Perhaps your T normally has another client after you and the person wasn't scheduled for that day. My T usually gets up and walks over to her desk and sits down at the computer to check for future appointments. Then we schedule some if needed. I only remember one time when she said that the session was over. I didn't want to leave and didn't get up when she did. So she ask if I was ready and then I got up. As for paying, I pay my co-pay to the receptionist. Although, I am allowed to skip if I want to. It's not like they can't send me a bill--outpatient therapy place at hospital. Even my general practicioner uses the same billing people. So, I think you can find me without difficulty. HEHE!

my counselor writes out the appointment card and we both stand up at the same time.She always checks before writing out the card if there is anything else we haven't covered or need to cover next time right before writing out the appointment card. Sometimes when she is doing this I get up and look at her knick knacks. then I am already standing when she hands me the card, opens the door and Im on my way.

there have been times when she has not stood but I always know that its the end of the session because she hands me the card. I have alot of trust for my counselor so there is no uncomfortableness in beginning or ending my sessions. It just feels natural.

After a while you will probably get into a routine so that you know for sure what is expected and how to say goodbye for the week with your counselor.

Occasionally at the end of a session, I throw myself onto the floor, grab T's ankle, attach myself to his leg, and refuse to let go.

Just kidding.

But I might be getting close...

Hehe. That image (of someone attaching themselves to their T's ankle) made me smile.

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pinksoil said:
Occasionally at the end of a session, I throw myself onto the floor, grab T's ankle, attach myself to his leg, and refuse to let go.

Just kidding.

But I might be getting close...

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I'm laughing hysterically at this because I've been close to doing something like this to my T and he'd probably faint..can't we just get hugs once inawhile?? <pout>

Pinksoil what an image