Couch 83: In a world where...

I am watching marx bros movies on TMC and trying to figure out what people find compelling about them.

Well my month of working 10 hour days/6 days a week has begun! I may not be around here much until things slow down. They still haven't fixed the wifi at work so I can't check in on my lunch breaks anymore. I'm already tired just thinking about the long days but ready to see the paychecks. Is it February yet?

eta: cool, I made it to 3,000 posts!

((Shakey))

It's horrible not having your own home.

You can learn so much from them! Like about how contracts arent valid unless they have a sanity clause! and the party of the first part and the party of the second part - i would think those party parts appeal to you. And margaret hamilton was it? She was quite a handful - i think groucho would say she was two handfuls and learn just about american society in general.

I think youre in the secret club now. You can change your title?

Oh wow, it takes 3,000 to be able to do that? I was wondering. That's going to take me awhile.

You know, I would find this whole New Year thing worth celebrating if there was some kind of "Reset" button for one's issues. Maybe not all of them because that could alter too many future events, but how about 2 or 3 per person? That would greatly improve my outlook on this coming year...because right now it's really not looking so good.

I want a ladysmaid like in Downton Abbey. That would be worth celebrating. A fresh jar of cookies next to my bed every day. A bed that somebody makes!

All it takes is money.

No it has to be magic. Automagic!

I feel the same way. Oh well. I am hoping I can just sort out most of my issues so they become non-issues.

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It's the middle of the night. I'm bored. I could write, but I don't have any thoughts. I could watch tv or read, but I don't feel like it. I'd like to talk, but there's no one online. Even if there was, I wouldn't say anything worth it.

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Good morning, noon or night couch peeps. I am thinking a lot about trust lately... I saw this definition...
To trust someone is to believe that he or she has your best interests in mind, that the person will protect you from harm and is reliable.

What do you all think the definition of trust is? Not just with your T but significant others too?

That makes a lot of sense to me. Especially when thinking about why I don't trust people - in my family for instance - those 3 things definitely stand out!

That's a good definition, I think, RTS. I would add that if a person has your best interest at heart, but doesn't respect your own views of what that is, it would be difficult to trust them. For instance, suppose that you have a collection of something that is very important to you, and a relative believes that all possessions are evil clutter, so they sell it off on ebay "in your best interest". That wouldn't be a trustworthy person. So the person has to be able to see beyond their own opinions and world view - maybe that's why a good T is a better person to trust than most other people, at least in my experience. They are trained to be more broadminded than many other people. (Not all of them are broadminded, but they ought to be.)

Yes. This makes sense to me.

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I have been doing ok through the holidays but today I woke up just feeling panicked and horribly down. hummm im never going to be normal . maybe I should be working on accepting that in T this year

I believe trust for me is belief the person will not actively set out to harm me and that the person has the ability to function reasonably within themselves without need for me. For me the definition does not include protection or someone elses idea of my best interest. For me, there is not a blanket definition for all people-it does depend upon their role in my life.

Trust. Hmmm...

Trust for me is that they value me in a way that means they're goal isn't going to be to hurt me. It doesn't mean they won't hurt me because I think it's unreasonable to expect that - people make mistakes and I guess trust also encompasses that they will value me in how they handle their mistakes.

There's also a reliability factor too.

Actually I think trust can be different things in different contexts. Like I trust my husband not to cheat on me. I trust my best friend to keep my secrets. I trust my therapist to show up on time and not to break confidentiality.

I trust my parents will not let us end up homeless. I do not however, trust them to actually care about my depression. And I don't tell my mother anything unless I want it on the 5 o'clock news.

Granite.. I've personally given up the goal of being "normal" and am working on self compassion and perhaps finding some self worth...

I definitely agree with the not including someone else's idea of best interest.... In order for me to trust I would have to think the person has taken the time to get to know me and what I would want and then would be able to act in my best interest.... Personally I have instruction for instances or being sick. Terminal , in accident everything cause I want people to know what I would want and would act accordingly...

But acting in someone else's best interest would require you to know about a person and be unselfish enough to choose in someone else's best interest and not just their own.

Trust for me is the faith that someone won't deliberately set out to do harm. Will they do harm? Even the people I trust? Of course, but human error is inevitable. A person's mistake won't cause me to suddenly mistrust them unless I discover they deliberately set out to cause harm. I tend to be a pretty trusting individual; while I've had my share of people in my life you definitely were not trustworthy by my definition, I have encountered FAR more who are quite deserving of my trust.

It's only 1030 and I want to soak in the tub with a book and a glass of wine. The toddler has been screaming all morning. Why did I spawn? WHY? He's so cute other times. But not this morning.

I saw a hand towel that I need. "My house is run by a little army that created myself."

Sounds like my house. I've got a 2 year old that is in a tantrum phase as well as a 2 month old. I created these little monsters that determine when I eat, shower, read, sleep, and so on.

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I think if I weren't so depressed, I'd have more patience. I can't complain on the husband front though. He steps up. He just snagged the toddler and took him. I think him, the larger spawn, and the tiny spawn are all going to play boy games downstairs.