Transitional objects

Do you think they are healthy? Not healthy? What does your T think?

If one finds them useful, then what would be the harm? The therapist has never mentioned such a thing. I only know about the idea behind them from things I have read.

What do you mean by transitional objects? - I'm interested.

I've never used one or had one suggested to me. Never saw the need I guess. Apparently it is helpful for some and I wouldn't think there would be any particular negative result of using one.

Made a big difference to me this Christmas. Ashamed of my need but pleased I finally told her what I needed, not to get it, but just to let her know how bad my attachment was and she thought it was reasonable so gave it to me!

I have had many transitional objects from past relationships. Actually, I still have the items. They have always helped me.

As far as a tangible object, my T doesn't want to give me one...yet. She wants me to value our relationship while I have her in my life and not an object that symbolizes it.

When we do terminate, she said she will give me a transitional object. I tried to convince her that it be a soft object. She doesn't want it to be. She does want it to be something that actually symbolizes our relationship. She will also give me an updated picture of her and a letter.

But my T has given me other things to help when I miss her. I have her emails she sent me and a letter she wrote me. She'll let me borrow one of her books even if the point is just to have possession of something she owns. I also have a picture of her. She didn't give me that, but she knows I have it.

A transitional object, in my understanding, is an object (rock, stuffed animal, figurine, key chain etc - any thing really that is tangible) given to a client by a therapist that the client associates with the therapist and derives comfort from that object when not with the therapist due to the association.

I have a collection of business cards from my therapist, it's not huge just one of each type she has had over the years as she has changed locations or just the layout of the card. I could have a LOT of them if I wanted it is her traditional practice for her to give a client one of her cards that the next appointment written on the back. I never took any as a reminder for my next appointment, don't need them.

I also keep a voice mail that my therapist left on my phone to change an appointment.

And both the card collection and the voice mail are nice things to have

My T gave me a small transitional object on Dec. 18th. I didn't ask for one, but I did know it would be almost a month before his holiday ended, and that is a very long gap. He was so sweet as he placed it in my hand then he smiled, told me what to do with it, though I already knew what it meant. We gave it a name, and it has been residing on my desk ever since. I will bring it back at my next appt. It's meant alot when I feel like I'm losing connection. Happy New Year pc folks!!

I haven't talked to mine about it, but I collect her appointment cards. I must have about 30 by now! It makes me feel more connected to look at them. I also frequent her webpage and blog. These aren't as cool transition objects as I've read about, but they are a way to keep the connection.

Next year my resolution is to cut back on therapy obsessing, so I'm not planning to use any of these things as much. I find they do feed obsessing and can be unhealthy to certain people. Tho I do see the benefit for others.

Heard of them, I don't see anything wrong with using one of it helps you.

For me personally I do not need one nor ever given one. I only ever seen 2 therapists,one when I was in my teens, he was good !!! And one in my early 20s briefly-she is actually still in my life as a mentor. I see and speak to her often but not as a "client". It's like a big sister relationship. I know a lot about her as well. She is not a friend tho! Nor do I want her to be. She told me many times that she will never walk away. I have a lot of good friends and family members too in my life... So to have her as support is amazing too. I did not have an easy life at all and I have a mental illness that came on suddenly and almost destroyed my life. --- any ways enough about me! If you like it do it!

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I think it depends on the person. For some it may be more helpful than not (I can't really say what's healthy for anyone). I don't see it being helpful to me; but then again, I have a great dog who goes to sessions with me, so he's kind of a bridge in a way because he's such a part of the whole process.

Last break she loaned me a figurine. I forgot to ask for one this time.:/

i have a stuffed animal from T. it helps me to feel safe when my symptoms come back.

Well... I guess it depends on how you define transitional object and what the purpose was. I started holding a stuffed animal when ever I wanted to hurt myself and my old-T called it my transitional object, though I did confuse me.

I didn't realise it at the time, but my therapist told me afterwards that he wrote me an email (a couple in fact) that he wanted me to have that I could go back to and read and re read as I needed, when he knew I was struggling. I guess that was similar?

I know that when I borrowed a book of his, over a short break, I felt more connected.

I once asked my T if I could give her a marble of mine which she could give back to me as a transitory object.

Unfortunately she felt that might foster dependency and gently declined...

She's going on a 4 to 6 month maternity leave so I'm really wishing I had thought to ask her to return two books I've loaned her months ago. I think having those books and thinking about how she's read bits of them during her spare time at work would be comforting to me.

When I've done something really difficult my therapist has given me a sticker. I've put the stickers on the back of my cell phone. It helps me feel connected when I've needed it.

I actually bought a cell phone case with a clear back just so I could see my stickers and so they would be protected. Ironically I never had a case on my cell phone before I got the stickers.

Thank you for this. I gradually gathered as much as I read the rest of the posts. But you confirmed.

I think theres probably something quite deep about them, but I cant quite get what that is, I've yet to discover. I gather it was Winnicott who first named this idea.

I'm sorry, but this really pisses me off. It's such a small thing for you to ask for, and the harm from her saying no is far worse than any dreaded dependency she fears. I really hate to see this kind of thing, and I hope you've worked it out.

I continue to be astonished by the way therapists pathologize normal desires. Over an effing marble. Sheesh.

I agree. This seems to me to be an issue of power and control, and this action places the control in the lap of the T.

I have a TO from my t. It's a stone. It makes me feel connected to him & is a very important object to me. When I am struggling, or when I get the urge to SI (I used to squeeze glass) That was replaced some months back with ice cubes, but now I use my stone. I take it back to my t periodically for him to re charge it for me. He will hold it throughout our session and will hand it back to me, all warm and re charged at the end of my session. I also took my teddy into meet him. My t sat him on his knee during the session, so that felt like he was linked to my teddy too. If I lost my stone, I would be devastated.

JoBo, that's really sweet. I like the "recharge" idea.

I have been doing the same thing, except mine is a small stuffed horse. I find it helpful, but I do not think T understands what I am doing.

I was disappointed, but just said "ok" and never brought it up again.

I think now that it reminds me that I can't depend on a therapist. Just like I can't depend on anyone.

Have you ever used transitional objects in therapy and how did you introduce the idea to your T?