The answer is: (Couch) 84. The question is...

I also think that sometimes people just have to be where they are until they want not to be enough - and no amount of my insisting they should do it faster or differently is going to help.

I think there is a difference between when a poster clearly asks for a specific thing, as you do, and someone just posts about a thing without specifying that he or she wants anything in particular.

I am not insisting on MY view of reality. Sometimes reality just IS, Stop. I do think that every person has an obligation to be responsible for his or her own choices. Making a choice that hurts you, over and over, is everyone's right. Making a choice that hurts you and then claiming you are a victim is a denial of reality. A person has the choice to do that, but I should be equally free to point out the reality of the situation, that the person's choices led to this and the person is doing it to him or herself, without being called out repeatedly as the bad guy who gives unwanted advice or who is harsh to the person claiming victimization.

I will admit that I am sensitive around this area, particularly where the person claiming victimization is busily stomping the boundaries of the person who they claim is letting them down, and has already been told by the person whose boundaries are being stomped that it is a problem. You defend the boundary stomper from me because you see it as a violation of boundaries to give advice. Meanwhile I think I am just pointing out that the poster has other options and is capable of doing things differently to avoid pain if he or she chooses to do so, and I want to defend the person whose boundaries the poster is stomping. I think I have only said someone HAS to do something differently when the person was allowing others to abuse her child and was abusing the child herself.

I'm printing this out, making numerous copies, and pasting them everywhere I encounter whining. Thank you!!

I should note that one will be on my mirror, one on my steering wheel, one on my desk at work, and perhaps even tattooed somewhere on my body!

I think a butterfly cocoon would make an excellent graphic

I think a butterfly cocoon would make an excellent graphic (cough, cough!) #jealousmuch?

I'm so glad that I've been able to stick by the "not my circus, not my monkeys" motto.

And now I'm looking at it and thinking have I've forgotten how to spell monkeys?

I love sf. My favourite movie is Forbidden Planet, apparently it is based on a Shakespeare play. Can't remember which one.

Thanks for all the support.

I am not insisting on MY view of reality. Sometimes reality just IS, Stop. I do think that every person has an obligation to be responsible for his or her own choices. Making a choice that hurts you, over and over, is everyone's right. Making a choice that hurts you and then claiming you are a victim is a denial of reality. A person has the choice to do that, but I should be equally free to point out the reality of the situation, that the person's choices led to this and the person is doing it to him or herself, without being called out repeatedly as the bad guy who gives unwanted advice or who is harsh to the person claiming victimization.

I have often wondered why the use of a wet nurse fell into disfavor.

The Tempest?

I think I do that in therapy but I pay my therapist and I sort of expect them to have a balance of SD and MKAC... sort of see me where I am at but point out I could do it differently that I have choices.

so lonely!

I know this was not directed to me in any way shape or form:

This resonated with me. I do make choices that hurt me over and over again. (those choices just happen to be better for other people and bad for me) I can see that making that choice and then complaining about it ... is very annoying to other people. I think I do that in therapy but I pay my therapist and I sort of expect them to have a balance of SD and MKAC... sort of see me where I am at but point out I could do it differently that I have choices. They also are better boundaried and won't get personally caught up in my problems

But with friends or general people its usually best not to complain about things you are choosing (not choosing to do something differently is choosing) that they may see as the cause of your misery.

I'm just glad that lately I've been able to see how annoying that is to outside people.

This morning I was looking on my dresser at the card you made and was thinking of you and hoping your session with T wouldnt get canceled due to weather.

For some reason I went to this scene in Best in Show (one of my favorite movies - I think it is very funny) - (neither character is like RTS, me or MKAC as I know us to be - just the balance description part)

I have read a few threads lately--not just the therapy boards, where it was hard for me.

I want to be supportive but not coddling. Off the therapy board, one thread really set me off. The person admitted something difficult, which was brave, but on the other hand she was hurting her own child knowingly and that made me beyond furious.

It is hard for me to know when to walk away!!! I have no idea how to respond to anyone so openly stubbornly self destructive (or hurtful to others) Maybe there isn't a right way, people need to work in out in therapy (or not!)

I have read a few threads lately--not just the therapy boards, where it was hard for me.

I want to be supportive but not coddling. Off the therapy board, one thread really set me off. The person admitted something difficult, which was brave, but on the other hand she was hurting her own child knowingly and that made me beyond furious.

It is hard for me to know when to walk away!!! I have no idea how to respond to anyone so openly stubbornly self destructive (or hurtful to others) Maybe there isn't a right way, people need to work in out in therapy (or not!)

I never know how to respond to people. I generally don't respond with much opinion. If I do respond, it is often just to share an experience or state facts. I do avoid anything heated as I never do well in those situations. I also avoid responding to "tough" subjects. I am a great listener, but I am terrible at saying anything good back. "That sucks" is not what most people want to hear, but that is the first thing that comes to mind... or a variation of that.

With that being said, once I do respond to someone I stress over whether I said the right thing or how I will be judged... even if I have no idea someone judges me, I still worry about it.

I am a social mess.

I'm the same way. I basically don't have much to say other than "that sucks" and I worry about how un-wise I appear. Others often have such sage advice while I have two or three word responses. If you are a social mess (doesn't seem that way to me) then I am a total social misfit!