Terminated by a text. AM I AN ABUSER?? GOING CRAZY

or if I just cause unfortunate surges of rage in her

No^. No one can trigger what isn't already there. Her triggers are her responsibility.

I'm glad that you were able to team up with your self-respect and walk out on her. I hope you are able to find what you're looking for in a therapist, and that someone eventually kicks that crown off her head.

I can only echo what others have said. Please please find another T. Nothing you said was unreasonable but her reaction was completely unacceptable, she sounds quite manipulative and abusive herself actually. There are really good therapists out there, I promise.

I understand completely how a client can become ensnared with an abusive or simply wrong-headed therapist and how difficult it may be to leave.

I speculate even the most functioning people endure many pains in life, and it's easy to believe ourselves defective and deficient. Someone easily can sell us how they can lighten our burdens and perhaps guide our break through of inevitable human limitations. Enter the therapist, a sometimes riddle-sphinx, who can play the role of our confessor, our taskmaster, our shaman. In his guiding us on an unexplained journey, we easily can become mesmerized, subjugated and infantilized under his power. Unethical therapists even will encourage this because of their delusions they're helping.

All this can distort who therapists really are--someone who easily could have been in the classroom alongside us, who earned a degree, and now hung a shingle.

I know otherwise high functioning, influential adults turn into submissive children when discussing their therapists and their "obligations" to surrender to their authority.

At its worst, leaving a bad therapist can be like leaving a cult, and it takes a great deal of strength to make the escape.

I don't 100% agree with you, as mentally ill people such as myself act differently. So Mentally ill people acting mentally ill can mean a lot.

I agree tho if you don't have the tolerance level then probably best to do something you enjoy then working with the mentally ill. However I don't think OP reaction is not uncommon at all. She is reacting as anybody does when hurt and upset and someone with or without a mental illness. She was expressing her feelings. And her therapist sounds awful...not professional at all and it may be best OP finds another one, who is understanding, stronger clear boundaries and caring.

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My T would probably jump for joy if I were able to be as open and honest as you were in your text. We would of course "unpicked it" in our next session. T tells me I can rant / rage even at them, but boundaries are that I can't physically hurt them or trash the room. You sent a text as that is how you felt at the time. What would be the point in sending a watered down version and hide the confusion / annoyance behind it? Therapy for me isn't about learning to deny our thoughts / feelings, but getting them out and having a good look at them.

I have read some stuff about insecure attachment and would think your T's behaviour encourages this which means it's never going to be therapeutic.

I hope you do find another T as soon as you can. Your T sounds as though she has been damaging.

And you are not abusive. You are a client looking to engage in psychotherapy.

Wow..How "professional" of her.

Well, for one thing, whether your behavior was abusive or not ( I have no idea what she is referring to when she talks about your allegedly abusive behavior), it's not an excuse for her to behave unprofessionally. Therapist should neither cancel sessions nor terminate therapy by text messaging, unless the cancellation is due to her illness or other factors not related to your relationship. And when the therapist terminates, she is the one who has to find you another therapist, not you. That is to say that she was ethically obligated to give you referrals when she terminated you, which she did. What else "find yourself another therapist" is supposed to mean if not termination?

She was supposed to terminate in person, to make sure that she has done it in a respectful and non-hurtful way, to give you referrals and to take care to make your transition to a new therapist as smooth as possible. Any other way to terminate a client is an abandonment and causes trauma.