Is it ever appropriate to ask your therapist personal questions????

It's good that you asked her emwell. I think it's best coming from T herself (as to what she considers appropriate or not) as that will tend to be subjective and vary from T to T. I do think that Ts ought to be able to deal with any question 'properly' though (i.e. without freaking out or making clients feel bad) even if they don't answer it.

I'm always afraid to ask my T personal questions but she usually answers them. The most personal question that I first emailed and then asked her directly in the next session was "is everything all right in your marriage?" At first she said yes but quickly she changed it to no. I had a hunch but hoped I was wrong. I will remember that conversation forever. I felt like my heart was breaking for her though later I learned it was a mutual decision, at least I think so. That was a couple of years ago.

Recently, another question popped out. "Are you happy now that you're divorced?" I didn't think she would answer honestly, but I know she did.

I often ask my T personal questions and she always answered them. But, every T is different. Go ahead and ask, it's the only way you will find out. If I may offer one bit of advice...if she does answer personal questions and you wind up asking a lot of them, she may wind up talking about herself too much during sessions -- like mine!

How did the mental health field go so wrong that we now refer to our patients as clients?? [ QUOTE=Ididitmyway;4245448]The better question is if it's appropriate for the therapist to answer personal questions asked by the client. As a client you can ask anything you want, but the therapist doesn't have to answer your questions if they are personal.

Whether it's advisable, appropriate or ethical for the therapist to answer personal questions depends on whether the therapist believes that his or her answer would be therapeutically beneficial for the client.

If the therapist feels that answering the question would benefit the client, he or she should use self-disclosure wisely and sparingly. Excessive self-disclosure may become an ethical issue because it can indicate that the therapist is trying to fulfill his or her own emotional needs rather than attend to the needs of the client'[/QUOTE]

Being on both side of the coin; working in the field and being a patient I think it is vital for a successful t/patient relationship if there is self disclosure. I have literally seen individuals that built such large walls around them break down the moment I self disclosed that I too am suffering from PTSD and that I too was a victim of a crime. It is actually quite beautiful to see such weight lifted off their shoulders. Only then can the real healing begin.

It is much more powerful to say, "I was in your shoes. This is what happened and this is what helped me. Want to try it?" as opposed to "evidence based research suggests that we do this now.."

alimak, I so agree. I have found it very helpful, like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, when my T discloses something that may be helpful for me to know, given my situation. I swear, I sigh in relief. Ts are people too.... and having been considering divorce myself, it's been nice to hear my T speak a bit of her own experience with that. I flat out told her I found it helpful, because she's BEEN there, not just repeating what she read out of a book or something.

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If you are in the field, you should know that words matter. For me, the term patient implies a certain level of weakness and helplessness. The term client is a bit more empowering.

Even though I often feel weak and helpless, being referred to as a client makes me feel like I have a voice in my helping myself.

Sorry you feel that way.

If you are in the field, you should know that words matter. For me, the term patient implies a certain level of weakness and helplessness. The term client is a bit more empowering.

Even though I often feel weak and helpless, being referred to as a client makes me feel like I have a voice in my helping myself.[/QUOTE]

I choose to refer to myself as a client and not as a patient - I correct any therapist who refers to me as a patient. I hire them for a specific reason and I find a use for them- I am not subservient to them.

According to numerous studies you are the expection I guess.

I don't know what this means.

I also prefer the word client.

I prefer the term client. I am only a patient to my medical doctors and medical personnel. My therapist is not a medical doctor. I'm not offended by the word patient because my mental health care generally involves both medical and therapy, but if I have my druthers . . .

I use client with my therapist
Patient is for my psychiatrist, nurses, physicians assistant, etc.

I'm a client, not a patient. For me the difference is a patient receives medical treatment. I don't feel I do and nor does she feel qualified to give medical treatment. I hire her as a client to listen and help.

Customer?

Nah, sounds like I'm in line at Target.

Consumer would be closer than customer to me.

But I don't refer to myself as a patient to mds either - I use consumer there. Client to me implies a more regular interaction than I ever will have with any md.

research done has said to use patient instead of 'client'. Don't like it? Then blame the researchers.

sorry you feel this way. Hope you can gain the confidents needed.

I do not know what being the expection means

What does this mean? There does not appear to me to be a lack of confidence (if that is what you meant) going on here.

Would love to see the research. It seems dependent on theoretical orientation. Old school psychoanalysis seemed to use "patient", but even that has changed. Most therapies now are very client-centered and use client rather than patient.

Is this new research? The place I go to also does research and they exclusively use the term client.

How would having the confidence to ask for a therapy relationship based on a mutual respect display a lack of confidence? That doesn't make any sense.