'85: "We Are The (Couch) World..."

The stbx cooks. He's lousy at cleaning up though

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I'm lucky if my husband "cooks" boiled pasta with a jar of sauce. I am the chef in my home- pretty damn good one too.

lol yes..this. I clean up if he cooks. He is a disaster in the kitchen. His food is amazing... The mess... Also amazing.

He finds it relaxing. Plus, it's his way of helping out as I do everything with our baby. He deals with our toddler when he is home too. It's a balance that works for us.

We are both good cooks.

If that is how you feel, you have every right to say so.

Paying for the afternoon in the sun now - the 10 year old is alternating bouncing on his bed with throwing up on his bed. Too much sun sets his reflux off... Well, on the up side it's bothering me more than it is him. Bounce, laugh, throw up, cough, laugh, bounce, cough, throw up, laugh... Darn it kid, I just washed those sheets!

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I'm slipping into depression, but I'm fighting it with exercise.

Wish I could exercise. My head is ready to explode.
I want to go have a nice long hot shower, but I have to wash the kids for school tomorrow and after I'm done with that there won't be enough hot water

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Yikes... Sounds messy JS.

You're very lucky to have a full-service husband!

Lol

lol Sure... he has his flaws. haha

Ever open a thread, read a post, and then wish you hadn't? Things cannot be unseen.

Is your son on reflux medication? That amount of vomit seems excessive.

My h might be an insensitive asshole, but he does cook.. So, that is nice.

He is, and has been since he was a baby. Small amounts of spitting up is fairly normal for him, and I know this is from being out in the sun today. It was pretty warm today.

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I am struggling right now.. I am supposed to see t tomorrow, but between the winter storm and t's son's health issues I am not sure that is going to happen. I know that I *can* email T. I know that is allowed, and I have been trying to be pretty deliberate in trying not to do it all the time. My last email to him was about 18 days ago.

I guess what I worry about is sending him yet another email saying that I can feel myself gong deeper and deeper down this stupid depression cycle, and him being disappointed. I have been doing so good. I have been trying so hard to fight this, really I have. I don't want t to think that I am not doing my best and that I am not trying to cope or anything. Sometimes though.. its just too much. That is what scares me. Last time we met T suggested I do emdr with another T (thought I would continue to see him as well).. But- I think he might be to the point where once a week meetings just aren't doing it for me and I might need more intensive help. I am so scared of that.

Mostly I just hate the smell of Pediasure, especially the second time around. I'm disproportionately upset about it this evening though.

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What exercise do you do? I find walking unmotivating, bike riding is more rewarding to me, but the effort to start is excruciating. Well done you.

Husbands clean? Not in my universe! Also emptying the dishwasher-not in my lifetime.

I think I am envious of anyone who has a husband that does any, and I mean any, housework. I work full time, 100% mom, yet all housework falls to me. 28 years of marriage and I haven't figured out a way to make him contribute to home maintenance.

Probably more my problem than his.

Mine cleans. I am a work at home mom, but I don't work many hours. I spend my day taking care of my toddler and baby. When he is home things are 50/50. Except I do all baby stuff.

It sounds like you're probably my parents generation (based on 28 years marriage) in which case not much cooking or cleaning on the man's part there either.

Thinking to my friends and acquaintances that are my age, most husbands do chores and cook at least some of the time.

Hugs.

I would probably send the email anyways. It's good if your T knows what's really going on.

I have that stupid hole feeling again. Like a great hole in me that needs filling, but I don't know what it is I haven't had it for at least 18 months or so....

Thanks for reminding me. How do I go about finding the "right" private practitioner though? I'm worried they'll all say they don't really have the right competence to treat someone with Asperger's syndrome (which is what the other psychologist I used to see said and then stopped my therapy), even though I'm depressed and have anxiety, which they usually specialise in. It's not like I can't tell them I have Asperger's either because it's a big part of who I am and a big part of what's causing my issues.

(I just searched for therapists at 1177 but when I press the links it seems like every single one of them so far need a referral.)

Another thing that would make me feel stupid if I was to look for a new therapist is that I don't really have any concrete ideas of what I need help with. I just know that I really don't do well (both depression and anxiety get worse) unless I get to talk to someone. I'm not sure that's enough.

I don't know. I told her I thought this was a bad idea but that didn't help. I think Mastodon might be right. It's probably the system that fails me (rather than the psychologist).

I don't think I know any guys (under the age of 75 or so) who don't cook. My husband always cooks because I am too lazy and not very good at it. (But we only eat cooked food at home in the weekends). He also cleans and does most of the other housework. We take it in turns to wash up and I usually do the laundry, but since there's just the two of us we only do laundry every ten days or so.

I feel really awful for always saying horrible things about H here. I need to stop doing that.

A T has no business being disappointed with genuine feelings honestly expressed.