Wanting to talk until the actual session.

Do you ever really want/need to talk to your T. and then feel there's no point when you're actually getting ready to go? My session is in 30 min and I don't feel the pangs of my "meltdown" last week. So, I feel weird about talking about it. Maybe it will come back to me once I'm in there.....

Well... I don't feel there is no point. I walk in the door and suddenly I am socially impaired and forget everything I thought about all week. Then, if I have notes written down to look off of, I can't bring myself to speak. This is a constant struggle.

I have notes and now it seems embarrassing to talk about yet I would have given my right arm to be able to talk to her when it was happening. I hate this struggle. I also have a hard time talking. I told her last session that someone said they felt their IQ went down significantly in therapy and I agree.

I kinda relate it just struggling inbtwn sessions w/o your T, and when you're anticipating T, you feel more empowered(?).

That and over time, issues just sort of seem to resolve on their own.

I'm not really sure. Don't know if that helps?

You've totally described how I feel all the time.

that's kinda how i'm feeling right now and probably will be still when my session gets here Thursday. Last week I felt so disconnected from t, and felt so sad about it i couldn't articulate it and then she basically told me to "stop sighing" and then I felt like she was getting fed up with me. And that's what I wanted to talk about at my next session. But I know how I am, once my session gets here and I try to start talking about it, suddenly all the stuff I've been thinking and planning to say, will sound incredibly stupid to me and I won't say them. I hope I can find the feeling back that I felt last week so I can talk about it. I think it's important.

I go through that almost every week... I hope you can get to talking about what you need to. One thing T's have told me: nothing is stupid. <3

It's good to at least know that this is how a lot of other people feel too. I struggle with this a lot!

This is me totally. Both your posts. I shut down right when I get in there....even though I don't want to. It is paralyzingly sometimes. I think this is why out of session contact is so vital for my situation and I think she knows it. I am painfully shy but I can email difficult things during the week and then she replies briefly and those things become my agenda. It has been a life saver for me. Maybe you can ask for something similar?

When a session is over a week away (I see my therapist on alternating weeks) I think of things I might talk to her about, then in the days leading up to the session I tend to feel like, 'Damn, I have nothing to talk to her about.' Got to be a defense, but I'm not sure what to do about it.