Help me write a note....

You can do it! Your dream is wonderful and you WILL soar. You've got determination and courage to make it happen. I admire you! You've also got a great T! Good luck, and please post how you're doing if you have any time!

Fast Forward to 3 years later:

I did not open a gym but I did start my own In-Home personal training business. This works best with my c-PTSD as I could not handle that "trapped" feeling working a 9-5 job under someone else's thumb oh and then bullying co-workers.

I am in school for Massage therapy and finish in November. Just another way I can earn money.

T and I have been platonic friends and talk by email/tex/phone twice a month or so. Honestly he usual calls me when he gets away from his wife like when he is walking the dog, because she knows about me ( apparently he has talked to much about me to her) and she gets pissed if he calls me.

In January I started with a new trauma/EMDR therapist. I have developed transference with him but it is not as painful or overwhelming like it was with T1. I do not "love" this one but do crave the normal attention a young child with unmet needs would. That feeling still sucks.

I was captivated by this thread, and especially the three years later update . You and your T! really DID create a human connection that is real. This example of a T genuinely caring is good medicine, and I am so glad he really meant it he would see you through your journey. It is uplifting that you bonded to your new T but not as painfully as the moment shared with PC three years ago reflected. It is also so cool that a forum member was able to join you in the room for just a few minutes, and lend a huge strength to you when you needed it, and you were able to use it well , be brave, and take a leap of faith in myriad ways.

I wouldn't want to be the wife of a psychologist, and I resent the heck out of my psychologist's wife bc she is anti his working much. There is a touching sincerity in your T calling you. Maybe others will feel differently about that, but I love the messiness of it, and how a real connection prevails over the rules.

Thank you so much for the update.

What a great story. Thank you!

I agree with others that you just wrote it! It is eloquent and said with feeling I think and it is not childish or pathetic. Ex-T (as of just a couple days ago) and I worked through this very thing at the end - my feelings for her that were very much an elephant in the room for a long time. I mean I'd said "i love you" quite a bit but had never really explained the depth of my feelings for and attachment to her until some dreams I had (we did a lot of dream work) clued her in in a big way and she brought it up and we talked through it the last several sessions. I believe it was an extremely important (although admittedly difficult!) final part of my work with her.


Like Moonlit sky said, I also thought your initial post is beautiful and explains it so well - I could so FEEL it as how I felt about my T for the longest time. I think that it is very important work to do with your T and I am sorry that you are struggling so with it. All I can tell you is once ex-t and I finally stopped dancing around the subject (her words - she said "We've been dancing around this for going on 7 years!" and it's true, we had been because it was uncomfortable for both of us!) but yeah once we did talk through it together I blossomed in a huge way.... it's amazing. I just had my final session a couple days ago and it was a beautiful goodbye. I'm glad I stuck with it long enough to get through this particular piece of the work. It was challenging and embarrassing and difficult but so very, very rewarding in the end.


I wish peace for you however you choose to discuss it with your T, and wish you the very best of outcomes with it.

Artie that was 3 years ago. I was just giving a update as I as re-reading post from years ago thinking about how far I have come and how much pain I used to be in plus there are so many post about the pain of transference and whether or not they should discuss it with their therapsit.

well don't i feel stupid now haha!! i totally did not notice that! holy sheepfrogs.

He just called me the other day while walking his dog. He talked about learning Somatic Therapy. It was very warming that he called but sad I can never have him as my therapist again.