How would you interpret this?

No, more like intrigued...

I guess if it isn't flirtatious, then I'm left with the question of being so regressed and child-like in sessions (which seems to be the interpretation if it isn't adult flirtatious behavior.) I think the question is what do you get from being in such a state of mind, and what is your T seeing that he believes it's wise to encourage such a state? Ultimately the concern isn't individual moments of behavior, but any pattern which promotes a state that isn't conscious, chosen, and functional and whether that is what you believe is healthy for you.

We don't know if the interaction is "flirtatious". Or sinister. Or playful in a positive sense. It could be any of this or nothing.

The best way to know is to press the therapist on what his laughing meant. I do find it strange that he didn't answer the question.

In your view, in what ways could he be encouraging regression?

I would agree growlycat, but if I'm remembering correctly, this has happened before and he wouldn't answer. It just feels like part of a bigger dynamic pattern to me, and I'm not sure what it is, nor its purpose. Working within regression is tricky business, for sure.

By playing along.

True... But I have other priority stuff to discuss with him.

Writing here is often a way for me to deflect from or cope with issues...and I'm going through some difficulties right now.

My former therapist texted me as I was responding to this thread--it really stirred up my feelings for him.

I'm all worked up now! I'll never sleep tonight

Ooooooo interesting

Mian, understand what I'm saying is theoretical speculation, not my personal experience. I experienced some regression in my therapy, but it was never playful. It was painful and often coupled with some degree of dissociation. My T's response at those times was always to respond to the child state, but as an adult would speaking to a scared and upset child: his tone would change, he would speak simply and directly, in an effort to provide a sense of protection and containment, enough to allow me to regain stability.

But we shared a goal of working through in a way that would keep me contained, functional and stable in my real life. So regressions were handled as they happened, but the goal was to respond in such a way as to move through them, not allow them to flourish.

There are types of therapy that engage such states and work within them. It can be valid but I think tricky both to be successful and to not overly destabilize a client. If such regression is supportive of a healthy goal, and the T is capable of handling it, then whether it appears as playful or protective or whatever is fine. But if your willingness to regress is serving an unhealthy goal, then that probably needs some discussion with your T. I think my concern is that it seems like there's an aspect to regression with him that you enjoy, but is the consequence of it healthy for your goals? That's tough to know.

Oh my gosh, after your last post, I just realized its a dissociative state, not regression. He had told me I use dissociation as a safe way to express love and affection. I never gave it much thought, as when I try to comprehend this, I feel a sensation that my ego is going to 'crumble'.

It also explains why I contradicted myself about being serious vs playful. It was as serious as would be from the mindset of a 4-5 year old.

I have strong needs and fantasied related to parent him, but also teach him how to parent me, which was the source/motivation for the neutral discussion.

FKM, you always get me thinking.

I've slept only 8 hours since Monday. I'm such a mess. I really am so disorded. Its surprising a therapist could even stand by me this long.

But that's the motivation-recapturing and being able to exist, live in a state that was previously 'killed off'.

Yes. It. Does.

I feel like i'm being myself when i'm playful and it feels like he accepts me when he is playful too. His playfulness does not occur that often, but I really cherish it when he can interact with my childparts.

My former therapist did that, and it was the most impactful part of my therapy, by far. I felt a seed of love was planted inside of my belly and felt it growing. That is literally how I experienced the emotion of feeling loved by an attachment figure for the first time.