So I made my therapist really uncomfortable last session?

4.06 Consultations
When consulting with colleagues, (1) psychologists do not disclose confidential information that reasonably could lead to the identification of a client/patient, research participant or other person or organization with whom they have a confidential relationship unless they have obtained the prior consent of the person or organization or the disclosure cannot be avoided

That's the code for the APA. They can't share confidential info about an identifiable client. He did not, he said she made him uncomfortable, which is not confidential info about the OP. I'm not trying to argue about anyone's stance on how he handled himself - your opinion is your opinion. But an ethical violation is not a matter of opinion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Restin From what you described was recorded, it sounds like he is uncomfortable because you are BPD.

That's an unfair assumption...and remember he didn't know he was being recorded. Since he can't and didn't seem to violate client confidentiality, it's possible that what she talked about made him feel uncomfortable FOR her not by her? Anyway only she will know if she admits that she recording him without his permission and then if he doesn't feel violated therefor not want to continue the relationship.

So many replys, thanks for kind of helping me. The therapist will not even speak to me, won't return email nor call, he will only talk to my mom and my mom won't talk to him, I feel so horrible. I really want to apologize to him or something

I think it's best at this point to just move on from it...
Like I said though, thanks! You guys are really helping me

And listened to the conversation also not knowing what she is doing, okay.
I didn;t attack, I just think it's violation listen to other people sessions.

What you may have "gleaned" from textbooks is not enough to make blanket assumptions about people because of the line of work they chose. I'll now out of this thread now. I know you could care less about my opinion but I think it's important to know that things usually do affect people and it's sad and a bit disturbing that you believe Ts to be so uncaring. Maybe you've met some who are and maybe they are just *********s. Ts are trained to not let themselves be affected by clients to the point that it interferes with the therapy. It doesn't mean they are trained not to have human reactions. I know there are stereotypes about Ts and other professionals that always have an element of truth and can be funny, but some of what I'm reading here borders on being nastiness.

I didn't see anything (in the one referred to above) about therapists being trained to be cold and uncaring. I read the comment for what it says--they are trained not to be regularly affected. It's a way to do their job and function.

It's hard to know what the OP's therapist meant by "uncomfortable" but it doesn't sound like one I would pay to see.

How can it be nastiness when I am saying I approve of them keeping detached. I am not criticizing it - I am applauding it. And even if it were nastiness, which I disagree it is, who is it hurting? Certainly no therapist I encounter. And I cannot imagine any of them reading on an online site are going to get all upset because some anonymous poster dislikes the practitioners of their profession.

OP - I hope you find a better one if you are looking for another one.

That is really unfortunate and I'm sorry about this. It might be helpful to you if you know what bothered him just do you know for your own reference. It's too bad he couldn't work it out with you though.

I don't think showing an emotion or feeling is a failure.

Wait, why won't the therapist talk to you? Does he know about the recording? Do you have another session scheduled?

Your t talks to your mom? Why?

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Is there someone else you could see? Do you want to see someone else? It's sad that your mom won't help you out here. (If you want her help that is.)

I think it's a bit more complex then that, but he will not reply to any thing at all, over the course of me going to therapy it never really worked out in the sessions. We either argued or he would dismiss me way early... I'm not sure what to think at this point any more :/

So could it be that he is uncomfortable about you arguing? What do you argue about?

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I'm probably going to just find a new T... This is my third therapist so far so Im use to this part... I still want to apologize to him, for what ever I did... Or said,

Maybe write/type him a letter and mail it?

That's actually a good idea, to write a letter. Thanks��

I agree nobody quite knows what anybody else is feeling or thinking, unless they are explicitly and honestly talking about it. And I think those kind of connections are rare - probably you can count them on the fingers of one hand, and they are not all the time. The level of true contact comes and goes.

However - I don't think pretty much everything is an act. I'm not a therapist, but I have cried for clients of mine, for the trauma they suffered. I have felt grief for them, and I have felt so ****ing proud of them and their victories. I have experienced huge happiness from the work we did together. None of that is an act. I have to behave appropriately (like nipping to the ladies for a few tears during one particularly moving evening, rather than crying in their face) but my feelings about them were real.

There are clients I might never see again, but I will always, always remember them. They have genuinely touched my soul, and enriched my life, and I will remember them and their stories and the work we did together for the rest of my life. Perhaps that sounds trite, but it's genuinely how I feel.

I don't doubt your feelings regarding your clients, IG. But I don't exactly arouse that kind of emotion in other people, and so my experience is different. And even if one is talking about what another person is feeling, it is still not possible to know whether they are honest and genuine. (Or maybe I'm just unusually bad at telling - that's entirely possible, and in fact very probable. I can only describe my own experience, after all.)

Sweetie, I'm sorry he won't speak to you because it is wrong for him not to explain why! I think it's very brave and big of you to want to apologize. It is scary, but it is strength to even think about much less if you do it. . It shows you think about other people and how your actions might hurt them.

If he was a good therapist he would explain that what happened could've been a violation of other patient's rights, accident or not, and that alone would be grounds for him to terminate your sessions. But to leave a BPD patient hanging like that much less *any* patient is damaging. He should talk to YOU even if you're a minor or young patient who's parent pay for the sessions. He should explain it to you and you have the RIGHT to demand that he does. He is leaving you in doubt as to what is wrong...get your answer then move on to a NEW therapist who will help you build trust so you don't need to record your sessions, IMO. Facing this situation is the only way you won't have lingering doubts or left over regrets in the future. I wish I had had someone to help me in the past with similar things, so now I wouldn't be thinking about how doctors had treated me wrong and I did nothing.