[Thefallen97]

So I made my therapist really uncomfortable last session. I know this because I record all my sessions but this time I forgot to turn my recorder off once the session was over. I could hear my self talking to a different therapist and when my mom arrived I went out to singnal her in. Well I left my recorder in the counter and the therapist confided in another therapist I made him really uncomfortable.
If you must know, that session we talked about all the ussual things I talk about, which are:

Possible trigger:

death, cutting, my nightmares (like cutting people apart)

pregnancy, how I just don't care what others think of me... Stuff among those lines, towards the end of the session he did state that he thinks I'm borderline personality disorder, so... Idk
Why do you think the therapist got uncomfortable?

[jelly-bean]

I don't know why he was uncomfortable but maybe he has never had anyone who discussed those topics freely. Or maybe the topics hit him a little too close to home. Who knows? Anyway, you just keep on talking things out.

[Lauliza]

From what you wrote I can't imagine what made him uncomfortable. Was there a lot of detail that might have been more than he's used to?

That's not a pleasant thing to have heard, Do you plan to discuss with him what happened? I think it would haunt me and affect my relationship with a T if I didn't discuss it if it was me.

[FranzJosef]

Poor T! He didn't want you to hear that.

[anilam]

No way to tell - unless you ask your T about it...
Which might not be the easiest thing to do but I think it'd be worth it, at least for me it would. Good luck

[Bipolarchic14]

It could be that he does not like being recorded. I know I would feel uncomfortable with this.

[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

It could be that he does not like being recorded. I know I would feel uncomfortable with this.

Yes- this. I was overthinking it and forgot about this detail. He very well may have been uncomfortable being recorded. I would have been too.

[musinglizzy]

I think it's probable he didn't know he was being recorded, or such a thing wouldn't have been said. I kinda think it shouldn't have been said anyway....

[doyoutrustme]

Part of being a therapist is opening yourself up about your feelings toward your client and examining them. Those are pretty triggering topics and I would be more concerned if your T wasn't facing the discomfort that comes with working on those things.

[Asiablue]

I wonder if you're very young? If that's the case maybe he just feels uncomfortable being a man and talking to a young girl about sex and pregnancy? If you are being sexually provocative towards him or saying sexually provocative things to get a reaction, ( not accusing you of this at all, just throwing out ideas) then that would probably make a guy uncomfortable?

It could lots of things, I think it's something you'll need to ask him.

Originally Posted by Thefallen97

I could hear my self talking to a different therapist

This confused me. Was the other therapist you were talking to part of your session? Or was he/she brought in?

[Thefallen97]

Originally Posted by licketysplit

This confused me. Was the other therapist you were talking to part of your session? Or was he/she brought in?

It was another therapist that he was confiding in after the session.

[stopdog]

I would consider it the therapist's problem to deal with, not mine.

However, if the therapist gets bothered by something a client says - I would not keep seeing that therapist because I think they need to separate themselves more from the client.

[JustShakey]

Oh. Ow.

On the one hand though, I think it's a good thing that your T is clearly able to be open with his coworkers. You know that he can get the discomfort 'out' without taking it out on you. I'd be talking about it with him though. That's just ... hard. In our minds we expect our Ts to be omnipotent, kinda like small children with their parents. It's not fun having your illusions shattered.


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[stopdog]

I think there is a huge difference between impervious and omnipotent. I think they are trained to be impervious and I pay them for that.

I agree that it is 100% your therapist's problem. I don't think a client should ever hesitate to say something because it might make the therapist uncomfortable. Isn't that one important reason people go to therapy, to be able to explore those things that can make others feel discomfort? And yes, I'm sure that sometimes therapists do feel discomfort, but again that's not the client's problem, and the therapist should act so as not to allow the client to notice it, in my opinion.

But a good therapist should not discuss their client in any way, unless it's part of their own therapy or their therapeutic supervision (and then the other T is bound by the same confidentiality rules.) I would view that as a serious transgression, that your T said that to his colleague.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I think there is a huge difference between impervious and omnipotent. I think they are trained to be impervious and I pay them for that.

Yeah, they're not omnipotent, it's just an illusion. I don't think they're impervious either. Another illusion in my mind.
My point is it hurts to have your illusions shattered, whether they're about a T, a parent, a lover, a friend or anyone else. Part of life though. Have to learn to live with it.

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[stopdog]

I don't know how anyone would get to a therapist - mere mortal that they be - being omnipotent.
I really do think most are impervious and do not care - but if one of them does not be impervious- I still, for myself, expect them to conduct themselves as such regardless of whatever is going in for them. It would not shatter an illusion if one of them told me they are not impervious (and I have had two explicitly say they are not) - I think they are being manipulative and lying and in the off chance they are not - it still does not matter to me what happens to the therapist.
I don't pay them to have them tell me or show me about themselves.

[JustShakey]

Small children think their parents are omnipotent. (And I can vouch for the fact that they get really pissed at you when they start discovering you're not)
A lot of us have some amount of parental transference with our Ts, and it hurts when we find they can't handle stuff any better than we can at times. That's where I get the omnipotent thing out of.

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[WrkNPrgress]

Leaving the recorder on was a bit unfair to the both of you.

You really need to tell him what you heard and hash it out. It might have nothing to do with anything you might suspect.

[Bipolarchic14]

Whether it's the therapist's issue or not I would definately bring it up, even if you are thinking of changing therspists. I know it would eat at me. Even after changing therspists it would be at the back of my mind...I would wonder if the new therapist felt the same way. That makes me wonder how often therapists say negative things behind the patients back. It makes it hard to trust them.

[divine1966]

I don't think there is anything you can do if you overhear something you don't suppose to hear. Therapists are humans and could feel uncomfortable about things. You can bring it up of course but he could also say it was a private conversation you weren't suppose to be a part of. The whole story is confusing

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[Lauliza]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I agree that it is 100% your therapist's problem. I don't think a client should ever hesitate to say something because it might make the therapist uncomfortable. Isn't that one important reason people go to therapy, to be able to explore those things that can make others feel discomfort? And yes, I'm sure that sometimes therapists do feel discomfort, but again that's not the client's problem, and the therapist should act so as not to allow the client to notice it, in my opinion.

But a good therapist should not discuss their client in any way, unless it's part of their own therapy or their therapeutic supervision (and then the other T is bound by the same confidentiality rules.) I would view that as a serious transgression, that your T said that to his colleague.

So long as it wasn't said to the OP there's really nothing at all with what this T did. I think Ts are human and going to feel uncomfortable with something a client says at some point. They just have to handle it professionally and not ke it interfere with treatment. The worst thing that happened in this case was that he was recorded (unbeknownst to him). It's unfortunate that t happened because with this knowledge it will be hard for the OP to continue until she knows what it was.

OP if you do confront him about this, maybe it will be a good thing. It's true that it's the Ts problem and not yours, but if it's eating at you it will be a relief one way another.

Originally Posted by Lauliza

So long as it wasn't said to the OP there's really nothing at all with what this T did. I think Ts are human and going to feel uncomfortable with something a client says at some point. They just have to handle it professionally and not ke it interfere with treatment. The worst thing that happened in this case was that he was recorded (unbeknownst to him). It's unfortunate that t happened because with this knowledge it will be hard for the OP to continue until she knows what it was.

Yes, as I said in the post you quoted, of course they are going to feel uncomfortable from time to time. But they don't get to talk to their colleagues about specific clients. I guess that if they say something general that is not traceable to a particular client it might not be actionable, but other than that they have to handle it professionally - just as you say - which means that they don't talk to their colleagues about it. I'm sorry, but that's violating client confidentiality, and where I live it could be grounds for reporting the therapist, if the OP wanted to do so. I don't think the T would lose their licence, but I'm pretty sure they would get a warning.