What happens if you refuse??

Galaxy, 18 means you're an adult in Europe too. I know she's your mom, but you have the right to live your life, regardless of what part of the world you're from.

FWIW, the sessions you want to run from are often the ones that you get most out of. And you don't have to say anything you don't want to.

Haha, I know in Europe, 18 is an adult too, but in America, 18 is a huge thing where you step away from your parents and be your own person. In Europe, especially where my mom is from, they hold a tighter leash :P .

I think I'll just tell her I don't wish to talk about it and if she pushes I'll restate that sentence. Like everyone said she can't force me.

Yes, you are an adult, 18 (I have one myself), and it is hard to let him go. The new world desperately trying to hold on to the ways of the old world. That was some of the difficulty with me and my parents. Now, with my son I have to be careful not to be that helicopter parent. It ain't easy, but I catch myself. A lot. I no longer have the luxury of going in the exam room with him or calling up his doctors to discuss test results, or them even willing to give me the test results. When things go wrong for him at the university I cannot just pick up the phone and run interference. Now he's got to do it himself. And, I am glad.

We in America (no, not everyone) refuse to give our kids responsibility,. They turn 18, and we hover even at college job fairs. Mom hands out Johnny's exemplary resume with fresh baked homemade chocolate chip cookies that grandma baked in the old world. Then when we as parents have had enough because they "can't" take care of themselves. We refuse to let them fall flat on their face (think garage or basement at 26 and no consistent job history), so that they can pick themselves up, and start to live their life with meaning and purpose.

secretgalaxy, if not now — when? You need to practice.

Me: "Lecture over, secretgalaxy. Carry on."

*Forgive me for stepping in as a parent.

I'm from Europe Galaxy - Ireland to be exact, and I know plenty of coddled adult children whose parents refuse to let them grow up (and then complain endlessly about how Johnny won't get a job, there is no winning with infantilizing parents).

The thing is though, if your parents won't relinquish your responsibility, you have to take it for yourself. It is your life and you are responsible for it.

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While my mom likes to keep us (my brother- 28 and I) on a tight leash we do have our own responsibilities. She has honestly been pushing me to start doing things more on my own (like getting my license, ughh) and my brother is the sole provider for the family. She just sees certain things as non-negotiatables, haha. As I learn about what I can do as an adult I will explore more. She knows I have been struggling the last few months, so when I asked for her advice about going or not, she said I am going. I mean, I know she can't force me, but I asked for it and that is what she said. I guess it is a good thing...

I do hope you go to session. Like you said there's a small part of you that wants to go and from posts from the past it seems like your T does care. I agree with another poster who said that you should asked, 'what if' questions. I would think your T would probe into the need for those questions, but if you're like 'if I want to commit sui', then there's nothing she can do.

Galaxy, maybe I should back off and please disregard me if I'm bothering you, but why does your brother have to support the family? Is your mom disabled? At 28 he should be living his own life. When you are an adult you shouldn't be on a leash, tight or otherwise. Parents are supposed to be supportive of their adult children, not controlling.

Good idea! I'm going to try that, but what if she directly asks me? I can't lie and I'm scared of what she will do if I try that.

This is what I see happening in this situation:
"What if I was pretty suicidal? And relapsed on SI?"
"Well, blah blah blah. Are you actually feeling this way now? Have you relapsed??"
"ummmm... I'd rather not say..."
"If you are in danger...."

Then it goes down hill from there...

Sometimes I think being honest most of the time is more of a curse than a blessing... ��

No problem He is the only one who has kept his job. My mom was working but she was emotionally assaulted and verbally abused so after 3 years there she quit. She has been having quite a few medical problems and severe insomnia, and we can't afford a doctor. We are extremely tight and my brother wants to support us, my mom isn't forcing him. I mean, if he decided to go off my mom wouldn't stop him, but we wouldn't have any income. I hope to be able to get a job soon, but I had surgery on my hip, so I'm healing from that. My mom doesn't force anything, but our family is all we have, my mom, my brother, and me, so none of us want to leave each other, especially me, I don't think I'll ever venture far from home and will always support my mother.

You know your T better than any of us, but I think she would ask questions like this. You may have to tell the truth. Think of this like a cavity. Having a cavity hurts, having a cavity filled hurts, but it leads you to the road towards getting better. I know you don't want to lie or tell the truth so I can see how you are in a pickle. I hope you are able to decide on something that you're most comfortable with.

(((Galaxy)))
Being independent doesn't mean leaving your family behind. Independence of individual family members actually makes a family stronger. And it helps to bring more people into your lives, enriching all three of you.
Sometimes you can hold onto something so tightly that you lose everything.

Ad Intra, yea... I don't know what I'm going to do completely but I know that I am going to the session. I have a few tricks up my sleeve so hopefully they will work.

JS, though we are a tight family, I don't feel like I'm being held back from it. My mom isn't controlling, though she has strong opinions. Once we are on our feet, we all will spread our wings and really explore what we love, but for now, we are hanging in together, until the storm is over.