Ah. I NEED TO LET THIS OUT. I took care of everything but now it is overwhelming me. It has been for the past few days.
The therapist I trusted, who cared for me. Ended up being an abuser. I don't mean verbally abusive. He was mentally, physically/sexually, and verbally/emotionally abusive. I trusted him. He pretty much abused me sexually with everything except penetrative intercourse. This was ongoing for 5 months... I HATE him so much for this. It has ruined my life and has given me the false perception of therapy. With my new therapist I feel weird sitting in the office because I always get scared that he would hit me, which he would have to remind me that he won't.
I would think of everything he has done to me out of nowhere. I would be happy, then I would go numb for a while. I would cry out of nowhere. I can't trust anyone anymore. He is married too.

Sometimes it gets overwhelming especially at night where I would have to text my current T and tell him how angry and overwhelmed I feel, which makes me feel like I am pushing him away or bothering him.

Who would've known somebody that I trusted, paid for, and who I thought "cared" about me would do such horrible things..

Sorry, I just needed to let this out.

I'm so sorry you are another casualty of therapy as I was. Like you, I believed I could trust a T. I mean that is their profession right? I understand not being able to trust anyone anymore. It's a terrible place to be. You can always send me a PM if you need to vent. How many more are out there who are taken advantage of?

Originally Posted by Simmering

I'm so sorry you are another casualty of therapy as I was. Like you, I believed I could trust a T. I mean that is their profession right? I understand not being able to trust anyone anymore. It's a terrible place to be. You can always send me a PM if you need to vent. How many more are out there who are taken advantage of?

I would never expect that to happen to me. Especially after telling him about my past. I never expected him to do something like that to me...

[Littlemeinside]

A couple of days ago you made two posts saying, you missed your old T? His handhold/hugs? And had to leave do to financial reasons

[precaryous]

I'm sorry, psychmajor. When did this happen?

It's a terrible thing to go through. It happened to me, too. You can view my past posts to read my story. You can PM me if you want to.

I agree, we would never expect this to happen to us- especially after telling them about our past. You would think they would protect us *more!* But for predators, it just tells them we are more vulnerable and exploitable.

I have wondered, if they wanted an affair, why not choose a colleuage, someone else, anyone else but a patient? But he chose me (and six other patients)- because we were trusting and vulnerable.

The fact that your T ...was your T...(do no harm, etc.), knew your history and had your trust makes what your T did even more heinous.

Originally Posted by Littlemeinside

A couple of days ago you made two posts saying, you missed your old T? His handhold/hugs? And had to leave do to financial reasons

Thank you for this.

Originally Posted by Littlemeinside

A couple of days ago you made two posts saying, you missed your old T? His handhold/hugs? And had to leave do to financial reasons

By that I meant my first T, Then I switched to the abusive T. Now I am with a new T. Sorry I should have made it more clear.

Originally Posted by licketysplit

Thank you for this.

Just replied before. The first T is the one I miss. Switched to an abusive one. Now I am with a good T that I am trying to get use to.

[precaryous]

I can't answer for psychmajor, especially when the circumstances are unclear, but it is common to have strong ambivilant feelings toward/about the exploiter.

Are you filing charges?

[junkDNA]

i was sexually abused and exploited by a T. it is a hard thing to heal from. but it gets better

Originally Posted by licketysplit

Are you filing charges?

Yes. I did. It just haunts me every single day.

[Ad Intra]

You sound hurt because you were exploited. Bad Ts should have legos super-glued onto their feet.

[missbella]

My exploitation wasn't sexual, but I did a great deal of reading in addition to corresponding with the people at TELL. It took me a long time to file a complaint; I had to get my bearings first.

TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

[ShantheArtist23]

I would file charges against this guy. I'm not trying to cause even more issues, but think about it: What if you're not the only victim? What if he's doing this to most or all his patients? That guy needs to be put to a stop. This makes me sad that you had to go through this, I'm so sorry.

[junkDNA]

in some states (like the one i live in) it is not a criminal offense

[missbella]

While I certainly agree with filing a report--eventually-- I think the first priority in a violation is the client taking care, returning to her own truths, finding her own balance. I think that has to happen before taking steps to protect the rest of the community.

Filing a grievance is extremely difficult. Any therapist who's unethical likely is a liar and likely will stop at nothing to make the client look like the crazy one. Then also the offense not only has to be concrete, it has to be documented and provable.

Therapists exploitation is such a betrayal of trust. It's one thing labeled as another. Making that paradigm shift can take processing and time.

Originally Posted by ShantheArtist23

I would file charges against this guy. I'm not trying to cause even more issues, but think about it: What if you're not the only victim? What if he's doing this to most or all his patients? That guy needs to be put to a stop. This makes me sad that you had to go through this, I'm so sorry.

[precaryous]

I see OP has said they did file some sort of complaint.

Yes, in some states it is not a criminal offense, but a person may also file a complaint with Ts governing board, file a civil suit, and file a complaint with the patient's medical insurance. Check if T has licenses in other states and file complaints with those governing boards.
If a T exploits one patient, they have probably exploited others.

I filed. Filing complaints is not for everyone, IMO, ..as we all have different challenges and life experiences.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I see OP has said they did file some sort of complaint.

Yes, in some states it is not a criminal offense, but a person may also file a complaint with Ts governing board, file a civil suit, and file a complaint with the patient's medical insurance. Check if T has licenses in other states and file complaints with those governing boards.
If a T exploits one patient, they have probably exploited others.

I filed. Filing complaints is not for everyone, IMO, ..as we all have different challenges and life experiences.

I filed a complaint as well. My exploitation was not sexual, but there was a great deal of emotional seduction in that relationship, so on some level it felt like sexual while it was more complex than just that.

His license is now on probation and he has to fulfill a number of requirements to clean his record such as undergoing personal therapy, taking courses on laws and ethics, paying the full cost of the board's investigation, letting his new clients and his employer know that his license is on probation..blah..blah..

While I think his license should have been permanently revoked, I am somewhat satisfied with the outcome.

I also wrote an online review of his practice where I included the links to the board's documents of his case, the accusation and the settlement. It stayed untouched for a long time until somebody decided to get involved and to demand that the website took it down which they did under the ridiculous excuse that my review represented a conflict of interests since I "appear to have had" a personal relationship with the provider of service. Apparently, the fact that I was a legitimate consumer of his service didn't matter and, apparently, the fact that he got himself involved in a personal relationship with the client was not, in and of itself, an indication that he was unfit for the line of work he had chosen. I suspect, my review started hurting his business at some point because it was backed up with the board's records and he's got some of his supporters involved to take care of this.

I am a little pissed off that the review is removed, but I don't want to go into a great lengths to let people know what he did. Anyone, who wants to check his professional record, can go to the board's website and do so. Their website is a little confusing and it takes some time to figure out where is what, but anyone can get to that information if they really want to. Once the information is available to the public, people can take care of themselves and get it.

I am so sorry psychmajor that you had to go through this. I am glad you pressed charges against that scumbag. Regardless of what the outcome will be, I hope this will vindicate you at least somewhat. Don't make punishing him your priority though. If it feels right to pursue justice and that it would assist you in your healing process, do it by all means, but don't do it at the expense of your well-being because then it'd defeat the purpose. I've known those who, like count Monte Cristo, dedicated their entire lives to punishing their perpetrators at the expense of their well-being. I found them pretty miserable. I hope this won't be your case.

[metamorphosis12]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

in some states (like the one i live in) it is not a criminal offense

What states allow intimacy between a client/ patient relationship? I wasn't aware of this.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by metamorphosis12

What states allow intimacy between a client/ patient relationship? I wasn't aware of this.

I would have to research it, but I know therapist/patient intimacy is against the (criminal) law in some but not all states.

Various licensing boards may have different ethical codes concerning therapist/patient intimacy, as well.

[junkDNA]

Originally Posted by metamorphosis12

What states allow intimacy between a client/ patient relationship? I wasn't aware of this.

IDK about other ones but i live in *********** and what my therapist did to me is not illegal

but the board revoked his license permanently . but yeah. he should have gone to prison

[precaryous]

I was told in California, criminally, the first offense is a misdemeanor...more than one offense (at a time or subsuquently? I'm not sure) is a felony.

Another matter, the PerpT did not have malpractice insurance. He was a psychiatrist. It is hard for me to accept that a psychiatrist is allowed to practice without malpractice insurance - both legally and ethically.

We are required to have insurance on our cars and homes, etc., in the event we hurt someone. A psychiatrist has countless opportunities to hurt patients everyday, but is not required to insure against it. smh.

[junkDNA]

my former Ts insurance would cover all types of malpractice EXCEPT sexual. isnt that messed up??? i mean for real. i sued them anyway and got a settlement but it was basically just a payment to get me to shut up about it. also i had to sign a contract that i cant talk about it unless with a mental health professional. i talk about it on here but i never mention former Ts name. it took 2+ yrs for the civil suit. my current T went with me to a major city for the mediation. it helped so much that he was with me. my attorney was really great as well. i was lucky they gave me any money.

[precaryous]

The system is certainly messed up. Agree!