I want so much to hear my T tell me that he loves me like a daughter and he will always look after me. (Fat chance of that, but I can dream)

[growlycat]

I would love to hear

"I'll help you with all of this, I will be here for you"
"I'm in it with you"
"You're not alone, you have me"
"I care about you" (not sure if "I care" is specific enough)

[ThisWayOut]

You'll get through this.
this will help.
It's ok to be needy and call just to check in.
Is ok to talk about the icky stuff, I won't hate you.

You are right. As usual.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I currently love it when she says: "I'm proud of you".

There's two things I would love to hear her say...I think

1. She's always going to be a part of my life. She has said she's never going to abandon me, but even though it's close, it's not the same.
2. She loves me. I might freak out with this one, honestly. She talks about love. I know I love her. And if I assume, then she loves me too. But assumptions are not facts. She has indirectly said it, but again, it just makes me assume she said it.

[stopdog]

Nothing at all. I can't think of anything useful she could say at this point. I have asked her questions about therapy and she refused to answer - and so I found another one who would, so from the first one - nothing.

[Ellahmae]

Therapeutic wise I can honestly say that she has said what I need to hear and in a very meaningful & honest way.

• she cares: honestly & truly
• she will never leave me (intentionally as there are things we can't control)
• she gets it
• she believes me even when no one else has or would

Emotionally what I want to hear is completely irrational and I'm working through it with her right now is that she wishes we would have met outside of therapy so we could have a normal 'relationship' (friend/mentor) instead of this one sided longing.

side note: having a lot in common with your T is torture at times - and at other times it's very beneficial.

My t already tells me all the things i need to hear. There is only one thing left- " i am finally coming home."
She has been overseas for several years and i miss her so much.

[Bipolarchic14]

I have magical powers that will cure your depression and I have the ability to bring your mom back.

What we fantasise we want to hear would turn against us. We'd start disbelieving. Why? Because it's coming from us. It's the things T has said that came from her that have given me the greatest comfort.
And it's not got to be a great declaration of love. It's normally smaller but greater than that.

[GeminiNZ]

Originally Posted by growlycat

I would love to hear

"I'll help you with all of this, I will be here for you"
"I'm in it with you"
"You're not alone, you have me"
"I care about you" (not sure if "I care" is specific enough)

growlycat, my T used to say, "I care" until one day i asked, "about what?" He was shocked that i hadn't realised he meant about me - until he thought about it in the context of my childhood and realised it made sense that i hadn't.

I think T says all i want him to - and sometimes more than i can bear - in terms of our relationship and the work we do (me not believing things is the sticking point). And i've finally stopped wanting him to say the abuse was my fault.

Right now, I wish he'd say i can have more than one session a week. I understand why i can't, i know it's not going to change (and that's as much to do with my situation as his), and i know he agrees that one isn't enough which feels validating; i just wish somehow, some way, he could change it.

[Ellahmae]

I think this is why it has made such an impact on me. It came from her without prodding, leading, or asking for it from my end. I love how you expressed that it's not huge declaration or action it is the smaller thoughts, looks, and/or sayings that mean the greatest and have the strongest impact.

Originally Posted by _Mouse

What we fantasise we want to hear would turn against us. We'd start disbelieving. Why? Because it's coming from us. It's the things T has said that came from her that have given me the greatest comfort.
And it's not got to be a great declaration of love. It's normally smaller but greater than that.

[bounceback]

Since I am moving by October I wish she would say she would miss me, that she would think about me, that she would stay in contact with me, that I meant something to her, that I wasn't just a job to her, that I can come back and see her if I moved back, etc.

[junkDNA]

my T said what i wanted to hear the most already. that he wont abandon me

[precaryous]

I wish my T could stir up my intensive bad feelings so I could purge them all in her presence....that she would help me with insight, understanding and acceptance....and that would cure my depression.

[RedSun]

I would love her to say two things...

I'm so proud of you for stopping SI
And
Shall I pop the kettle on?

[dancinglady]

Come here little daughter of mine and sit on daddy's lap and get bunches of cuddles and hugs.

My T could say "if I catch you hurting yourself again there will be major consequences that you nor your bottom is going to like very much. You are hurting my precious sweetheart and I am not going to allow it anymore." Not mean not abusive just a lesson so I would stop hurting myself.

Originally Posted by dancinglady

Come here little daughter of mine and sit on daddy's lap and get bunches of cuddles and hugs.

My T could say "if I catch you hurting yourself again there will be major consequences that you nor your bottom is going to like very much. You are hurting my precious sweetheart and I am not going to allow it anymore." Not mean not abusive just a lesson so I would stop hurting myself.

I so understand how you feel. Truly I do. I want that too. Thank you so much for this. It helps me as I need this so much.

[MoxieDoxie]

He has already said so much that I needed him to say but he could say theses also:

"You mean a lot to me"
"I want you to stay in my life in some capacity"
"you have made a difference in my life and my work"
"I love you like a dear friend, a close family member or even as a daughter"

[missbelle]

I want my T to say; "Go way, you are o.k."

The next time I tell her that I am ready to terminate, I would like to hear her say that she agrees with me.

Wow, did I really just say that?

[scallion5]

The reason things are going so poorly isn't your fault.

[scorpiosis37]

I told my T that I loved her and I asked her if she loved me-- and she said yes. We had a conversation about it, and she elaborated on the reasons why and what that disclosure meant to her. But because she simply said "yes" I never got to hear her say the words "I love you." I'd like to hear those exact words.

I'd also like to hear her say that I can lean my head on her shoulder, and she will hold me. But I know that is not within her boundaries, so it is not going to happen.

[musinglizzy]

My T told me she loved me in an Email not too long ago. Shocked the pants outta me because I never thought she'd say something like that. I believed it..... but have questioned it too. I don't think she's supposed to "love" her clients.

[LindaLu]

I would like to hear...

-acknowledgement that I've got strengths
-that she's confident I can get better
-that she looks forward to seeing me
-that she finds me attractive, even non-sexually

Of course I also fantasize about hearing, "I love you". Maybe there's a parallel universe where this has happened already