Has your T talked about you in supervision?

My T doesn't really have a supervisor. She's in private practice and actually supervises other T's. However, she does have a weekly discussion group with peers, which she uses as a form of "supervision." I don't know if she's ever spoken to her group about me...I kinda don't want to know. I know that she and my pdoc regularly consult about me, but that's more of a sharing between treatment providers.

Now I'm curious, though. I may have to ask T. We'll see if I get up the courage or decide it's important.

My T has brought me up in consult but that's the nature of things. They all get together a few times a month and bring in cases they need help with or feedback on. It is what it is.

In the UK its a requirement of all T's that they have supervision. I would assume that they discuss each client, some more than others. Sometimes T cam back to me on something she had said and said something different, I imagined that I heard her supervisors voice at these times.

Thanks...

Just to clarify, my T has been in practice for ~30 years. So, he uses the word "supervision", but I assume it's more like regular consultation (i.e. he's not a new T just learning the ropes).

And, he works in a solo practice, so this isn't him meeting with other Ts at the same agency.

I hear you all, I do, that this is a good thing. And, I agree. I think it's easy for Ts to get off path, or get caught up in their own reactions, and this probably keeps my T pretty grounded (he is really good about being non-defensive and keeping his stuff out of the room, as far as I've seen).

But - Echos - OMG! The thought that he might have spent an ENTIRE session talking about just me! Yack. I don't know, I have such a bad, sinking feeling about that. Which is crazy, right, because not that long ago I was assuming that T just forgot me between sessions, and didn't spend *any* time thinking about how he could be better helping me

I think the other thing that's freaking me out... which I really need to check out with him before I completely go nuts... I don't mind him getting supervision, as long as I'm anonymous, and talking about me. But I tend to write out stuff for him, because I have a lot of trouble verbalizing in real time in therapy. And, a couple of weeks ago I gave him some writing that had a lot of very heavy stuff in it.

We talked again about it last week. Then this week, I thought we'd talk some more (we hadn't covered everything). But he didn't open with that. And, when I asked about it, he went to get the paper, and couldn't find it.

So, I've had this awful thought that... what if he's showing my writing to his supervisor/consult-T??? That feels so much more personal than just telling super-T about some anonymous client. I write a lot... I feel like a lot of "me" comes through in my writing ... I feel like that was just meant for my T. The fact that he might have showed it to someone else is causing a bit of rising panic inside... and the fact that he might have accidentally LEFT IT THERE (why else couldn't he find it? All my papers should be right there in my file, there's no good reason for them to not be there - is there???)

... makes me want to just be done with everything right now. It's kind of terrifying and really upsetting. I don't know, writing has been such a good way for me to get information "out" to him, now part of my brain is ready to clamp down on that and say, "NO MORE WRITING!"

Sad.

I honestly doubt most supervision/consultations are an hour long. My guess is that in most cases, it is a fairly brief discussion.

Just ask him if he shared the writing in consultation. My guess is he just misplaced your writing on his desk somewhere, but you won't know unless you ask.

I honestly don't know whether that's typical, but it's the way my T chooses to do it. It doesn't bother me to be honest. My T is a'supervisor of supervisors' (he has a book about supervision too, lol) so I guess he has the experience and knowhow to be unconventional.
I agree with you (and everyone else) guilloche, it's better to have a T that seeks consultation to be a good T than pay for therapy that's going off course.

It's my experience that consultation doesn't usually include all the nitty-gritty. It's a general overview of symptoms, methods, etc. The more personal bits like writing and emails are unlikely to be part of it. I know with my T, it's a group thing with a limited amount of time so if everyone's bringing cases, they're going to want to stay on point.

Yes, although my Pdoc is the lead clinician/supervisor, at the previous clinic I attended, with it being Government based he was still required to answer to the suits above him. They wanted him to terminate me as a patient, because apparently he'd had ample time to treat me and it was impacting on their efficiency stats that I was still under his care (I believe they did an audit on patient records). He went into bat for me and explained to them that I was a complex case requiring longer term care, they still weren't having it, started getting on his back about how he needed to close my case file and move me on, so he eventually asked me if I'd mind transferring with him to another clinic he worked at so he could continue treating me in peace. He made it clear that if the transfer didn't work, for whatever reason, then he'd transfer me straight back to the old clinic and tell the suits to get f*cked (those were close to his exact words). It actually felt really good to know my Pdoc had stood up for me like that.

Thanks LolaGrace. Yes, I think I'll need to ask him about the paper. I probably will not spend time asking him for details on how he does supervision (other than asking if he shares things I've written) b/c it's not really that important, in the end, if he talks about me for 5 minutes or 5 days . I guess?

Ugh, or maybe what I need to do is just tell him the truth which is, it freaks me out, because the last T that needed help with me ended up kicking me out after getting me diagnosed, he used the "consultation" and diagnosis as an excuse to get rid of me, and it was a really bad experience.

Thanks Echos... it's actually really to hear how your T handles it, and I hadn't considered that before, but it does make a certain kind of sense. I imagine it's hard to give a supervisor all the pertinent details, describe the problems, then talk through all the thoughts, possible ways of handling it, possible outcomes, etc in just a few minutes...

Thanks NowhereUSA - My T isn't part of a bigger practice, so I imagine (though it's a guess) that his supervision is just one-on-one, not a whole room full of Ts (oh gosh, let's hope it's not a whole roomful of Ts.) Good to hear it's not likely to include sharing writings though!

Willowbrook - oh wow! How awesome to have a T that stands up for you like that, and is so very adamantly committed to sticking with you and helping you.... you're lucky to have that person in your life!

Interesting question, I would like to ask him.
All I know is that he talked to his supervisor about hugs with me and his supervisor told him that he mustnt touch me anymore at all. I dont know why etc but he stopped to hug me.

My t doesn't have a supervisor. But she does have her own t. I doubt she'd have cause to talk about me but I don't know.

I know my T has talked about me with her supervisor at least on a couple occasions. We had a period of over a year where I made little to no progress because I just felt like the smallest task was too much for me to handle. T tried different strategies to help me, but none worked for me so she talked to her supervisor to find other ways.
Apparently her supervisor made her aware that my CSA had a much deeper impact on me than she had thought and that her sole priority should be to get me out of this toxic environment... I think there was something else too, but can't remember it right now.

Yes, given our dual relationship he had to talk to his supervisor about me quite a bit and to other supervisors too. I trust him to keep my confidentiality very well. On the other hand, I would expect him to get supervision about me and all his other clients, no matter the level of difficulty.

I agree with your therapist too. Talking about two clients in one supervision session may leave out important things, talking about three would barely scratch the surface ... I would think a therapist regularly seeking supervision for a lot of clients at once has very little focus and insight, unless he is forced to do so by a clinic or other employer.

Thanks... really interesting to see what everyone's experiences have been.

Jordy - I'm so glad that your T's supervisor was able to help her see the impact of your CSA, and help her focus on getting you out of that environment!

Thanks Brillstep, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, it still makes me feel nervous and self-conscious to think of my T and his supervisor sitting around blabbing about me for an hour , but it does make sense that you'd need the time to get into the details and reflect on how things are going.

I really hope the supervisor didn't tell him to take the ball away! I can just hear her now, "OMG! You played catch with her? In the office? During therapy? What the heck is wrong with you dude? You need to stop that, right now... and take back that pillow while you're at it!"

(Did I mention, I have some trust issues - especially with strangers! )

Hehe, I love your sense of humor!

Well, in some cases it's an hour, in other cases it may be less - it depends on the setting, really. Just like therapy can also be 50, 60, 90 minutes ... depending on approach.

I understand your fear actually. I used to be afraid of that with my therapist's supervisor, especially with the dual relationship thing. But after years of therapy I've come to trust my therapist's supervisor even though I've never met him. He's been supervising my therapist for so long and here I am, still happily in therapy with the same person, so the supervisor can't be that bad. In fact, judging from my therapist's stories, he sounds like an awesome supervisor, and I'm glad my therapist has such great support as a professional.

I can't imagine that she would have...I kind of see myself as a garden-variety patient as stopdog said. However I did have chronic low-grade suicidal ideation that really worsened for awhile over the summer. Perhaps she did to discuss risk-assessment or meds, I don't know. It's not something I've ever bothered to ask nor has she discussed.

On at least one occasion I know he has but I assume that there have been others. Most likely because of my strong feelings for him! Anyways it doesn't really bother me...

Several years ago she took notes during a limited number sessions, of to share at the psychoanalytic institute she is a member of, and after asking me if I would interested in doing that. It was for critiquing her and helping her get to know herself-the-therapist. And my therapy too, I suppose - where we were, where we want to go, obstacles we may not be aware of, etc.

It was interesting having her take notes because it was the only time she has, other than writing down dreams I've had. Her taking notes, I told her, made me aware of 2 things. One was that I felt like what I was saying was SO fascinating and important that she wanted them on paper. And the other thing was that having less eye contact was at first relieving, but then became something I missed.

We are still "In Session", our 8th year just now completed.

I didn't get to read all of the responses here, so this mat have already been said: tell your therapist when you are having fears of being sent away, abandoned, rejected, etc. It's important to talk about it and why it's coming up at that time. It can be so helpful and so relieving.

Thanks everyone. I had my session late yesterday. It was pretty exhausting, but we talked about this (and everything else).

He did a good job of clarifying. He does talk to another therapist regularly for supervision, and thinks she's a really good therapist. She's actually on the other side of the country, so no worries that I might accidentally bump into her one day. Though it does sound like he uses my real first name (which is a little weird), and he shared some of my writing with her (eek). He told me he didn't realize it would bother me, but asked if I would have given him permission if he had asked ahead of time, and I think I would have.

It was interesting, he said that 85% of what he talks to her about is the group that he runs, he only talks about individual clients when there's something he's... ummm, worried about? I don't remember if that's how he said it exactly. But he wanted me to know it's because he cares, and wants to be get all the info he can to help me, which felt good.

Anyway, I felt better about this when I was done. Still a little worried a few other things... not sure therapy IS actually going to ever be helpful (and it's so expensive... ) but this seems to be OK....

*thanks!*