I was shocked today. Out of everything I've told T she's never really "shown" emtion. I mean I've felt it but shes never shed a tear, not that I even expected it. Anyways today I was telling her about my SI i did yesterday and how I felt maybe if I told her she will terminate me.

I told her how all of a sudden it reminded me of when I was 16 and got drunk at work and my dad had to come get me and how my mum then told me I had spoilt xmas and took the tree and all the cards down. I said how I did the same thing the following yr also and she once again said xmas was spoilt and took everything down.

T said "The cow! thats unbelievable! she actually took the tree down?" I goes yeah, and I see her moving her feet and looked at her for a second and saw a tear in her eye. I didn't think out everything I've spoken about in T that was a big deal.

T said "She had no thought that something might have been going on for you, it was all about her?" I said "Well yeah, but thats how it always was"

Geez, it felt really nice to see T's reaction. I've taken it inside and gonna use it for that part of me that needs it!

Oh T said she wouldn't terminate me because of my SI.

[MissCharlotte]

Awww mouse, that is wonderful, something comforting to hold onto.

[Soidhonia]

((((((((((((((((MOUSE)))))))))))
It is good to feel the presence of safety from a therapist or friend. I hope you have many more sessions that go this well with your therapist. Take care and good day MOUSE. soidhonia

That's amazing. Your T was definitely right there with you, to demostrate that emotion. Hold on to that.

[Perna]

How good to see your T truly feels for you/cares.

Your Christmas thing was awfully close to home for me; I didn't get my stepmother a present one year (when I was in college and I didn't have enough time/means, had one picked out but when I went to get it it turned out not to be suitable) and I think I would have preferred the end of the world? :-) Still sears my memory.

[lauren_helene]

Mouse that is wonderful!! I'm glad your T showed her emotion for you.

[bipolar_bear]

How wonderful you must have felt. I am glad she shared her feelings with you.

[psisci]

As nice as that must have felt for you, there is a big difference between making someone feel better, and making someone get better.

[lauren_helene]

Hi Scott, I wish I had time to talk with you. Your statement has me curious. My T and Mouse's T are quite different. Actually, my T is quite different from many on this forum.

Are you saying that if a T shows care, concern, sadness and other basic human emotions, then that is not appropriate or even adequate?

Are they to vacate all human emotions? As you can see by my posts, this process is very painful for me. I'd love to have a T like mouse's.

i think that is lovely mouse.

when for so much of our life people seemed to be uncaring in the face of the hurtful things that have happened to us we can come to think that somehow we aren't entitled to feel hurt or upset.

in fact we can start to internalise the notion that we are bad and that we need to be punished. hence... self harm. your therpist has communicated the message to you that they don't think that you do need to be punished for having done those kinds of things. your therapist knows about some of that stuff and doesn't think you are bad and need to be punished.

while i agree with scott that there is indeed a difference between making someone feel better and making someone get better i'm not so keen on the idea that therapists actually have the power to make clients do anything at all.

i'm also not so keen on the implication that therapy should be about behavioural change change change (in this instance i'm figuring that scott is operationalising 'getting better' as 'reduction in self harm'). that might be scott's operational definition of 'getting better' but... is it one that mouse accepts?

if mouse is hoping to increase happiness and to decrease feelings of aloneness and isolation and badness and despair then hasn't her therapist helped with that short term?

i agree that sometimes short term pain is necessary for long term happiness. mouse seems to have her share of pain, however, and seems to be working hard on a lot of stuff that is painful.

scott, yes I fully agree with you. But T is helping me getting better which also includes helping me see that I can feel better about myself too..It was nice for me to see this other side of T, helps my B/W thinking, helps me see that people can be whole, theres more to them than just what I think..its not the insights that always help us, its the little "human" intereactions! I think I may retitle an old song "Last night a Human saved my life" LOL