Can I talk about it?

I have some sexual issues and I know its not only physical, its more psychological. Almost every night I think I will talk about it but everytime I see my T, I say to myself that everything is or will be okay and I would feel too embaresed if I talked about it. So I wrote it but cant give it to read my T.
These things are just too embaressing about sexual stuff and Im also scared that its inaproriate to talk about it esspecially if I mentioned also my fantasies about him, Im scared he would be mad.
its really difficult when I cant be completely honest, I think I couldnt see him anymore if I told this to him.

Any and everything is okay to discuss in thwrapy. Take the chance to trust him. Give him the chance to show that he is worthy of your trust.

Chances are, your T has heard stuff like this already, perhaps even worse/more embarrassing, so perhaps remembering this might help you disclose. I actually disclosed something last week I really didn't intend to be a disclosure, but when she reacted to it I was thinking "uh oh, this is going to be brought up again...", another one of those things where I didn't think it was a big deal, and she did (and now, all of a sudden, is too embarrassing for me to admit here LOL). Yet the things I think were big, she didn't.... I think it's all in how they know you feel about it....so let him know beforehand how difficult this disclosure is, and I'm sure he'll treat it even more respectfully.

Why don't you ask your T if there's any issues that you can't discuss with him? If he says nothing is off limits, then ask if the topics about sex are. If he says sex isn't off limits, then ask if a client has ever had transference towards him and how did/would he deal with it. If you are satisfied with the answers, then it's most likely safe to open up about.

I asked him is there any topic I cant discuss and he said I can talk about anything.
I dont think he would answer about other clients.
Everytime I tried to talk about it he all the time repeated about boundaries and that he will never let me touch him and that nothing could ever happen between us. I know it and its annoying if he says it everytime I try to talk about my feelings, I even told him that I heard it thousand times but I just want to tell him how I feel but I cant if he all the times says- nothing like that could ever happen. It makes me feel that he doesnt want to hear it, it makes me mad and I feel so embaresing when he reacts this way.
Some time ago he asked me how I would like to touch him etc but I never answered. Now he avoids from this topic.
Okay I will ask him can I talk about sex if I could get these words out of my mouth.

i think it would be good for you to talk to your t about them.

I talk to my therapist about sex. I've been seeing her for 3 years and I tell her everything and she knows I am embarrassed/ashamed about sex but I know I can trust her enough to talk about it. It's definitely not about her though so I don't know if that makes a difference...

He asked how you would like touching him? That's inappropriate.

And he already knows you have feelings or obsession about him of what not? And he asks that? Wow

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Maybe it's relevant to talk about how you want to touch him, if this is the elephant in the room.
Once I wanted to talk to my t about something, but kept bottling it every session. I emailed her and asked her to bring it up, which she did, so there was no escape! Worked well for me. Good luck x

I know this is probably as stupid question but I wanted to make sure rather than assume...Are you wanting to talk about sex between the two of you are in you life in general??

One thing I do when I am afraid to tell is tell the story to myself, "both" sides. If I can explain it to me and listen to it and comment on it and get over some of the fear of what I/others will think of it then it helps me and I can better decide if I do need/want to tell T or not. Sometimes the fear gets in the way of the story/problem. The feeling about the problem is not the problem itself and to address the problem I think one has to be willing to face it straight on, first.

I had a sexual problem that was upsetting me badly but which was too intense/scary to tell my T so I had to think it through myself and did and it changed my life, made me proud of myself. We aren't actually weird or different and sexual is just an extension of physical and mental? Fantasies are okay, whether they are about sex or murder or things we are horrified to find ourselves thinking. They are just thoughts and can help us better understand ourselves! We are not acting on them (and even if we are on some, that too can help us understand ourselves). But separating my fears from my physical self, I learned my physical self was/is just fine the way it is and my fears were mostly just an educational problem. Worrying about the future (what fear is) is often, for me, a case of not having much information/experience. I can get that and I can learn (how to love another, how to express myself to another I love so they can better understand me, etc.) but it takes time and practice, like anything else. We're not born knowing how to relate sexually any more than we are born knowing how to communicate and converse with others (why I was in therapy pretty much :-)

So its inapproriate to say how I would like to touch him? So I cant talk about anything in therapy.
He asked me this when I told him.about my feelings but I was too shy to tell him. maybe he wanted understand me better by asking it, I dont see any other reason. Okay he said he had fantasies about me but it was long time ago, now he knows I was abused and sex is horrible for me and who would want to f... girl who feels like this, no one.

About who?
I had traumatic sexual experience and doctor even told me that only thing that can help me is therapy. I also want to talk about what I want, my fantasies etc.

Thanks
Its hard to get words out of my mind, I think I will hate myself.
I told him little bit (not in details) about my horrible sexual life and it made me feel like no one would want girl like me because Im mess. I regret I told him but I told just 10% of everything.

I meant (mistyped) your general sex.

I think your fantasies would be problematic if they include him. However, I don't know that you should NOT say anything either. As far as your past I think you should absolutely should talk to him.

I also wanted to discuss sexual issues with T and it took about 4 years to get to the point where I felt comfortable. It eventually came up when we were having an emotional session and she said something in regards to my husband and I blurt it out...very uncomfortable. She handled it very well and has been very compassionate and tries to make me feel as comfortable as possible.

It's OK to TALK about it.

Agreed. And he may have just been trying to clarify if you wanted to touch him in a sexual way or something more like a hug or hand holding that could be more platonic.

Maybe I just didn't understand the context. Like I imagined I am sitting there and talking and all of a sudden my t asks " how would you like to touch me?" Say what?

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It can come across like that, particularly if you are not expecting it!

It's appropriate to discuss anything in theapy that causes you psychological discomfort or real struggle. It's not so much a question of appropriateness as the simple fact that those types of things are difficult to reveal to the other person. You may start just by saying to your T that there are things on your mind you feel you need to talk about but they are very difficult to talk about and then let him do his part to make it more comfortable for you to discuss them. Good luck.