Why can't I get past this?

unaluna · Apr 06, 2015, 09:49 PM

Would you want your child to stonewall their feelings like this? Or would you want them to learn to be open and forgiving and conciliatory? Yeah you can say that i am one to talk because i have built a stone wall between me and my family, but really it was there all along - im just not trying to climb over it anymore and getting shot down all the time. But you are purposely withholding. You are pouting. I can see it from here! Its your right. But thats why you will never get over it. You prefer to hold it to your bosom. You are not hurting your t, you are only hurting yourself. But you know this, right?

stopdog · Apr 06, 2015, 10:37 PM

Could you just try another one or two. I don't think there is anything wrong with a client drawing a line and saying the therapist just sucks enough at x for that to be the end of it. Just because a client draws a line does not mean they are pouting or that they need to submit to a therapist.

Gavinandnikki · Apr 06, 2015, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

I've skipped all the responses but will read them.

It's because it's just like with your mom - you're mad and hurt and can't talk to her about it. And, you finally thought you had someone who WOULD listen and you COULD talk to about it.

It is going to be very hard for you to keep going without discussing it. I think you need to tell her WHY you need to talk about it. Tell her that you aren't talking about it to change her mind (I think you can see that won't happen) but you need to talk about it to look at the underlying reasons and how to avoid it with other people.

And, I think it's not about the touch anymore. It's about the feeling of rejection - she kind of did that twice to you: once when taking away touch and again when refusing to discuss it anymore. She should look at how it's affecting you and start digging in those issues.

Oh, and the attachment girl blog that someone posted is great! Ruptures are so hard with our T's but hopefully getting through them deepens the relationship and both T. and client learn something.

Agree 10000%

musinglizzy · Apr 07, 2015, 12:21 AM

I dropped it because she was getting frustrated, and it was frustrating me further. I have not dropped it for good. I thought it might be useful for me to give myself time to just continue therapy normally and see if, by giving it a break with her, if I could learn that really it wasn't that big of a deal, and move on from it. But yes, I'm still stuck. I'm not pouting about it. I'm venting here, but I'm still hurt by it. I am starting to see I'm not going to be able to let this go without further discussion. I just hoped I could.

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Why can't I get past this?

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