[ThingWithFeathers]

I don't know why this happens sometimes. Now I've got two weeks to wait until I see t again. Well, not really because I'll see her at group, but it's not the same. Maybe I feel this way because I had so much I wanted to say but I wasn't able to explore it all within the hour, maybe it's because my t clearly wanted to look at getting my safety plan reevaluated and suicidal thoughts under control while I was focused on the other things, maybe it's just the two week break between sessions at the moment or maybe it's that my t is back from her break and my unconscious just makes up negative feelings so I can reach out to her.

I don't even know what the feeling is - guilt, a yearning, a sense of shame, something deep within?

What is this feeling? Do you sometimes feel bad after pretty good sessions - like you just really need your t again?

[dj315]

Yup, I've had this happen a couple of times, and they've both happened when I haven't gotten to explore everything in that 50 minutes. And it's all of the feelings of guilt, yearning, shame, who-knows-what rolled into one. It's like something gets off balance in my head and emotions and it's one of the deepest and rawest emotional pains I've ever experienced. Last time I wanted to immediately burst right back into my T's office as soon as the door shut and didn't stop crying/being on the verge of tears for two days. I'm not used to needy feelings like that, so it was all sorts of confusing.

It's not a good feeling, but both times they eventually passed for me. I emailed my T during those times too--though I never really went into full depth into what happened, just that I was messed up emotionally--and it helped a lot. Maybe that could help you?

[Jessica Hazlitt]

Originally Posted by ThingWithFeathers

I don't know why this happens sometimes. Now I've got two weeks to wait until I see t again. Well, not really because I'll see her at group, but it's not the same. Maybe I feel this way because I had so much I wanted to say but I wasn't able to explore it all within the hour, maybe it's because my t clearly wanted to look at getting my safety plan reevaluated and suicidal thoughts under control while I was focused on the other things, maybe it's just the two week break between sessions at the moment or maybe it's that my t is back from her break and my unconscious just makes up negative feelings so I can reach out to her.

I don't even know what the feeling is - guilt, a yearning, a sense of shame, something deep within?

What is this feeling? Do you sometimes feel bad after pretty good sessions - like you just really need your t again?

I totally get this from time to time, for all the reasons you suggested, more and sometimes for no reason at all (or at least none I can pinpoint). We have discovered that shame guilt and embarrassment are very prevalent in my life, and if one or all of these comes up in session, I usually leave feeling pretty bad.


For example. A couple of weeks ago I finally told him I was attracted to him. Now part of me thought I’d feel better for saying it, but I did not. I left that session feeling physically sick. I don’t know if it was the embarrassment of the confession, the shame over (what is in our relationship) an inappropriate feeling, or feeling guilty as I have permanently altered our relationship.
But then last week we chatted about it in a little more detail which was exceptionally uncomfortable and brought back the same feelings, but I left feeling pretty good, and I don’t know why there was not just a difference, but a HUGE difference.


Also last week was left as a bit of a cliff-hanger, we have a lot to go back to. I keep like a journal of lists and notes of stuff I want to talk about. That alleviates the anxious thoughts of “but that’s important, I don’t want to forget about it or pass it over” etc.



Every few weeks, me and T have a couple of like a review or ‘check in’ sessions where we look at how the work and the relationship is going. Maybe try something like that? Identifying the feeling for me is step 1, it may not be the same every time so using my journal I look for patterns then talk it through with T.


I hope you figure it out

[LonesomeTonight]

I definitely have this sometimes. Often, it's a case where I have more that I wanted to discuss, especially if something big came up toward the end of the session. Other times, it's because we've dug up and talked about stuff from my past, and it brings some bad feelings back. There have been times where I've sat and cried in my car in the parking lot for a few minutes or cried the whole way home (it's only a 15-minute drive). So I think it's a common thing, but that doesn't make it any less difficult or painful...

[Soccer mom]

Me too! Definitely been through this. In the beginning of therapy, it happened all the time. I think it was a combination of being frutrated I couldn't talk, wanted to talk more and now had to wait another week. I have cried immediately leaving, all the way home and usually the next morning is difficult as well. Now, I've figured out a pattern. Night of session: sad. Next morning: cry a few hours. THe rest of the week I either suppress it or I've gotten it out of my system.

My T. says to be careful of finding patterns because we may set up an internal pattern. She says I have and so I expect to be upset the next day. She said to try to tell myself I'll have a good week. I thought most of the time I can't - feelings are too intense. I did it this week but worried the whole time I was just supressing the feelings. How do I know when I'm suppressing or when I've just changed my thought pattern? I plan to ask her this today.

My biggest feeling is a longing/dread in my chest. i can't describe it more than that. Recently I also realized this same feeling is the feeling I got when my parents wouldn't help me with something - kind of like T. not always able to help me. Maybe feeling alone?

Sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds very tough and lonely. I often feel like this too. It's more a yearning from me. A yearning for what i am not sure. I think its a yearning to be seen and heard. Do you think these feelings are stronger when you really connect with your t on these good sessions or is it because you know you won't see her for two weeks?

[ThisWayOut]

yup... ditto to all of what was said also...

i occasionally feel worse after therapy. sometimes it opens up too many bad feelings and other times we just don't talk about what i WANT to talk about.

you're not alone. i'm sorry it didn't go so well and i hope its better next time

[stopdog]

I always feel worse after the appointment. I think it is usual to do so.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

My biggest feeling is a longing/dread in my chest. i can't describe it more than that. Recently I also realized this same feeling is the feeling I got when my parents wouldn't help me with something - kind of like T. not always able to help me. Maybe feeling alone?

Yes, this describes the feeling perfectly!

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds very tough and lonely. I often feel like this too. It's more a yearning from me. A yearning for what i am not sure. I think its a yearning to be seen and heard. Do you think these feelings are stronger when you really connect with your t on these good sessions or is it because you know you won't see her for two weeks?

It's usually after sessions that seemed okay and aren't fraught with emotions. Maybe I feel like I wasn't as close with her during the session as I'd like to. I actually feel better after tough sessions, where there's been emotion and a deep connection.

Originally Posted by ThingWithFeathers

It's usually after sessions that seemed okay and aren't fraught with emotions. Maybe I feel like I wasn't as close with her during the session as I'd like to. I actually feel better after tough sessions, where there's been emotion and a deep connection.

I am the exact same way. more lighthearted sessions (in my case, a session focused on OCD/anxiety) tend to leave me feeling worse than deep sessions (focused on depression/cptsd).