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#1
Apr 13, 2015, 02:41 PM
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I've been experimenting.....I think my T. is tougher on me when my hair is down (looking like an adult). So, I pull it back in a ponytail on weeks I'm feeling vulnerable. Today is a ponytail day....
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 Anonymous200320, brillskep, guilloche, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, SoupDragon, ThisWayOut, unaluna
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 unaluna
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#2
Apr 13, 2015, 03:15 PM
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Interesting.
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
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#3
Apr 13, 2015, 03:45 PM
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Hmmmm... *very* interesting! (Hope your session goes OK today!
 )
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#4
Apr 13, 2015, 04:15 PM
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You think she is tough on you at times? It doesn't sound good to feel she is 'being tough'?
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#5
Apr 13, 2015, 04:20 PM
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I used to always keep my hair up for T because I felt more 'together' and safer that way. As I got more comfortable with him I found leaving it down helped me open up more. Now I don't think it makes a difference anymore.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
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#6
Apr 13, 2015, 05:06 PM
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I leave it open so I can hide behind my side bangs..just feel more carefree...tied up hair makes me more serious...older.more adult
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#7
Apr 13, 2015, 05:08 PM
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It's funny, I leave my hair down to be able to "hide" easier, and it goes up again if I'm feeling more comfortable. I almost always leave my hair up in my day-to-day life because , though I like my long hair, it's a pain in the butt. In therapy, it's just easier to hide with it down. I am not sure T had noticed (I've only put my hair up maybe twice in session, and that was just in the last 2 weeks). I never thought leaving my hair up in a ponytail would present as "less adult". You'll have to keep us updated on your experiement.
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#8
Apr 13, 2015, 05:34 PM
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FTR, I don't put my hair up on a ponytail - or didn't, I do now sometimes. A swinging ponytail is not controlled enough...
 I usually roll it up with a big clip, or bobby pins, if I want to be really together. I feel like it holds up my outer shell of confidence. It also prevents me from playing with my hair. It took a while before I was comfortable enough to show the me who plays with her hair and hides behind it. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
| brillskep
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| brillskep
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#9
Apr 13, 2015, 06:15 PM
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I have always had very short hair and it always looks about the same.
I am different in a suit than in my normal clothes. I am not sure if the therapist is different about it or not. But I am a lot more lawyerish when at an appointment with a suit on.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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#10
Apr 13, 2015, 06:43 PM
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Okay, PLEASE don't be offended, but do you think you act more like an adult when you feel you look more like an adult? I'm just wondering why your therapist would treat you differently based on how you look.
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| Ellahmae, ScarletPimpernel
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#11
Apr 13, 2015, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
Hmm. Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
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#12
Apr 13, 2015, 07:04 PM
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Is it possible that your T observes all your physical cues and knows when you're in a place where you'll be able to handle her pushing?
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| LonesomeTonight, Soccer mom
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#13
Apr 13, 2015, 07:05 PM
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Interesting post. My hair, unless I'm going out, which I very rarely do, is always back in a pony tail. ALWAYS. People never see it down. I have to have it up at work, and I also don't like it in my face, so ponytail all the time. YET...I have T twice a week, and I wear my hair down in my sessions. It's not about how I look, I could care less. It's for, as others mentioned, being able to hide behind it. That's the ONLY reason I wear it down in therapy. It has worked well all my life to help me stay hidden behind.
__________________
~It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving~ |
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#14
Apr 13, 2015, 07:08 PM
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As in feeling like an adult I feel more constrained...feel more is expected out of me ...I may not speak freely...
Ya I got problems  that's y I m in therapy
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#15
Apr 13, 2015, 07:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
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#16
Apr 13, 2015, 08:42 PM
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So did she go easier on you today?
For marriage counseling, I find that if I'm feeling bad about something or think H might be annoyed at me, I'm likely to wear more feminine, "softer" clothing, like a floral blouse or something like that--definitely not red or some other bold color. Like I think if I'm dressed more innocently, then the session would go differently than if I was wearing something more assertive looking. With T, if I'm feeling especially rough and want to talk about it, I often won't put on as much makeup, so my appearance will better reflect how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling bad (and look it) but don't necessarily want to talk about it, I'll use more makeup to make my eyes look brighter and more awake. |
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#17
Apr 13, 2015, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
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#18
Apr 13, 2015, 09:02 PM
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Quote:
Hmm, interesting thought - hadn't thought about that. BUT, the session did go well. LOL 
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#19
Apr 13, 2015, 09:05 PM
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I go straight from work but sometimes change depending on my kids' activities. So, she's seen me in work and casual clothes. I'm glad I wore it up today because her office was hot - not quite air conditioning weather.
It did go well but ironically I think I acted more like an adult even with my hair up. We covered a lot of topics and I left feeling ok. A little sad now just missing her and wishing I had said more. I hate that I have to wait another week. 
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| LonesomeTonight
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| ThisWayOut
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#20
Apr 13, 2015, 09:23 PM
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I know that what I am wearing and how I feel I look can really affect my mood and the way I carry myself at times, which I think influences my thinking and behavior overall.
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| LonesomeTonight
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#21
Apr 13, 2015, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
__________________
**the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain and every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**
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| LonesomeTonight
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#22
Apr 14, 2015, 01:02 AM
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Interesting - so many people in the thread with such long hair!
What I wear has never affected my therapy (or my mood). Makeup has never been an option, I have never used it. I'm glad your session went well, SM. |
| Soccer mom
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#23
Apr 14, 2015, 01:09 AM
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My T is very much affected by "looks". He'll jump through hoops at the chance to get another female client who is pretty.
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#24
Apr 14, 2015, 04:31 AM
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Ha! I'm glad to read that many people here wear their hair down in order to hide behind them.
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#25
Apr 14, 2015, 05:14 AM
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my hair is so annoying and long/thick I much prefer it up. I don't think it affects the way my T acts towards me though.
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