Are you attached to your T?

I'm just curious how many people are attached to their T's. What has been your experience with the attachment?

I like mine but I wouldn't say that I was attached.

Yes, but it isn't really something I think about except when discussed here. I attach easily and naturally to many different people, so it's just part and parcel of life. Attachment isn't a topic in my therapy. I just know my therapist and I get along well, work well together, etc. For me, that's all attachment is.

I voted yes, and I don't like it... but it was a toss up, because it does have its positives and negatives. For me, more negative though. I would much prefer to just go in there and talk about what I need to talk about, and leave, without looking back. I just told her last week that I care about her, but I don't think it's right and don't like it. It came about because my answer to a couple of her questions was "I don't really care." She asked what I DO care about, and that's when I said that.

I certainly understand a Ts job isn't often easy. But at the same time, I would imagine some people get pretty big headed over having so many people caring so much about them. Ts have a great deal of power. And I'm quite sure they know that. I'm not saying my T is big headed at all, I don't believe she is. But I imagine many of them are.

No. I have never been attached to a therapist or anyone really. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. I run away from attachment and want nothing to do with it ever.

I don't attach well to people in real life but for some reason I seem to be attached to my T. I haven't discussed this with her at all and have no plans to at the moment. I have real trust issues and still have loads of trouble talking about any of the deep difficult stuff. I haven't even really told her my full story yet (we're 6 months in).

To be honest this attachment thing scares the life out of me. I voted I can see the positive and negative because I can see how in time it may be really helpful but I can also see how potentially dangerous it is.

I wish I was like this. Would have avoided a great deal of heartache in my life....

Nope!

I mean I appreciate the support and all, but ...

It would be too for me!

I am attached to some people and my pets. I am not attached to the therapist - I don't see why I would or what the point of it would be. I don't completely despise the woman.

I think my attachment to my t is healthy. It took a long time for me to allow myself become attached and admit I cared about him because I was so afraid of being attached to anyone, but for me attachment doesn't mean that I can't live without t. It just means that I feel secure with him--I trust him to be a consistent, accepting influence in my life who I can talk to about my feelings. I also care about him, but not in a transference kind of way. I respect him a person and appreciate the help he's offered me.

You'd think it would save a lot of heartache, but it's what i want most in life, to be attached to someone, to be loved and all that and I am terrified of it. It causes a lot of heartache.

And I wonder if there was some type of attachment because I kept going back, but then little kids go back to their abusers and battered women go back to their abusers. I don't know. It's weird.

I also have this APD. Imagine the horror/delight I felt when I realized I had attached to my therapist a few months ago. I'm well over 40 and this is my first real, deep, and meaningful attachment to an adult human. Somedays it feels incredibly amazing and powerful to have the attachment. Other days, it feels painful and bizarre. Guess I'm gonna have to wait this one out to see how it ends up.

AllHeart, I hope it ends up well for you. I really do.

I am attached and wish I wasn't, but I understand it's a good thing for therapy and really would like to let go now!

Yes I am attached to T and would like to date her.

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I'd gotten very attached, yet I wasn't fully aware of it until I was warned some months back that we'd have to say goodbye (his retirement from private practice). The grief that hit me was something I've never experienced, and at that point it was just of only hearing the news.
Really I think the attachment was the one thing that helped me the most, even more than what we specifically would discuss, because I found myself trying more and pushing myself further so that I could meet what I thought were his expectations for me. I did not want to let down the one person who has actually been on my side trying to help when no one else could. His expectations were what I would hang onto, even while my own weren't enough to save me/keep me motivated to try. I don't have much hope my next therapist will be as the previous one was for me, but I hope whatever attachment there may be is helpful in someway as I try to move forward.

Yes, I am fearful avoidant if I remember correctly. I attach but then I run away fearing harm and come back over and over. Drives me crazy. If it wasn't for the attachment, I would have quit therapy a long time ago.

I hae a strong, healthy attachment to my therapist and it is a positive thing.

I've told my T a couple of times that I'm afraid of becoming attached to him. I have this terrible habit of almost fantasizing what it would be like for kind male authority figures in my life to be my father or a father-figure (if that doesn't scream daddy-issues, I don't know what does ), and my T is only a year younger than my dad, so this could become a real problem for me. It hasn't happened though in my 2 years of therapy, partly because T has great boundaries and partly because I've been careful to check my emotions. Attachment is so hard to define though...It's just something I know in my gut that is happening. I certainly have positive emotions and gratitude for him, but I've never let myself get really attached. It would hurt way, WAY too much once the therapeutic relationship is over, so I think it's for the better.

Yes, I'm attached to my therapist. Big time. I think I needed to be, in order for therapy to work. I've hardly ever experienced a close relationship before (because I was afraid to). I always kept my distance, I didn't know otherwise. Therapy learnt me to trust, open up and reach out to people. At some point I think the attachment was a little too much (unhealthy some might say), but that faded away as I got stronger.

It caused a great deal of grief when I decided to move on and started talking about ending therapy. Even though I was ready for it, it didn't mean that I didn't care for my T anymore. Letting him go is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. In one of our last sessions, I could feel my heart break when I walked out his office. He means the world to me, he's changed my life.

The grief isn't over now, but it's milder. I've accepted the loss a bit more. Plus our final session was nice and gave me good closure, which helps me move on. I'm still sad and hurting though, that may take a while.

I'm definitely attached to my t. The attachment is positive, but I deeply fear the time when it comes to say goodbye.

Me too ThingWithFeathers.

I fought the attachment for my T for ages because it felt so wrong for me. However, now I am able to accept it & love how it makes me feel.