Anti-therapy thoughts

Well, to be fair, is your pdoc really in the same boat as a generic therapist? He's at least objectively qualified and able to dispense actual medicine. I'd be more inclined to trust someone like that, who has real science to back them up.

Sorry you're feeling bad though!

I agree. At least he's smart and a real doctor.

You are so anti-therapist that you are blind to the possibility that a good, kind and helpful therapist may exist.

The part of my statement you quoted was not indicating I don't think one of those people may be okay - it was a response to the idea that they have a hard job.

Further, I have never said one of those people who were the things you list might not exist. Any number of people on this board report having them - i don't doubt they believe it nor even that for them such a thing exists. But even if I did, it would not mean those who do believe such exist are wrong for not agreeing with me. So why do others care what I think about those guys.

I don't think I am anti therapist either so there is that. I hire two of those guys, and once I got very direct and clear with both of them to stay back and stop doing crap that was not beneficial, I have found a way for them to not be completely useless.

Stopdog doesn't need my defense for sure, but come on, anti-therapy? Paying two therapists is not the action of someone who is anti-therapy.

What she does appear to be is anti-attachment, anti-therapist worship, and anti-blind faith that a therapist knows what they're doing.

I still maintain that the reason threads like this stick in people's craw is because it highlights unhealthy dynamics that they are involved in and in denial of.

If a friend of mine goes through a bad break up and says "I hate men, all men suck" I don't run off and get a divorce. Nor do I become super defensive of my relationship, or men in general. I don't accuse her of being 'anti-man'. It's just part of her process and it has no bearing on my life because I'm confident and secure in my relationship.

If therapy is effective, and healthy and good for you, then people saying it isn't won't change that fact, and it shouldn't be any skin off anyone's nose.

But, as I've said before and will say again, most threads on this forum indicate really serious problems with therapists and / or therapy. And I don't think that's because there's a secret ant-therapy agenda here. I think that's because a LOT of people are hurt by it.

No, the reason threads iike this bother some of us is that this forum was once a place of positive support as people walked their therapy journey but has turned into a place of very negative energy. Very little positive energy anymore and that is simply draining. Some of us prefer to keep positive energy in our lives. This seems to no longer be that place which is a shame. Just not much pleasure and positivity in coming here anymore.

It's not okay to express negative opinions? What if I wrote I hated Zoloft in the meds forum?

That isn't what I said at all, but that is a rather typical response these days. Oh well.

I prefer positivity in my life too. My opinions on this subject came from a place of very deep hurt.

And "some of us prefer" to have honest conversations about how we were scammed in therapy. So for us, sharing on this forum is as positive experience as other topics would be for you. How is being exploited by the hands of a therapist a less legitimate topic than abuse by anyone else?

The forum is often about difficult and often sad topics. If one demands to be surrounded by positive energy, there are easier places on the internet to find it.

I honestly don't think people have become more negative, I just think a lot of us, COINCIDENTALLY, are going through some rough patches in our therapy. Although my therapy has been very tough, I felt quite a strong bond/connection with my therapist. Things happen, and BOOM, it's gone. Now I'm fighting to get it back. I think it's helpful to have a forum like this to talk freely about the good AND the bad...I know people have offered me good feedback here. If this place was all sunshine and roses, that, actually, would be devastating because some people have nowhere to talk about the troubling stuff related to therapy. I know for me, my therapist didn't want to continue dwelling on that subject between us, because she wanted me to focus on other, more important things. What's important can change like the weather.

I think a lot of us are just having a string of bad luck lately. I received a text last night from someone from here who was terminated by her T yesterday. I will let her share if she chooses to...but I notice so far she has refrained from that.... I would hope we would all support each other through good and bad. I imagine things will turn around on here at some point....

If you want to keep positivity in your life, then you positively don't need to read these threads. Or the others where people are being hurt. You can start lots of positive therapy threads, and extol the virtues of therapy.

As has been said, if therapy really is wonderful, then threads saying it isn't won't change it. And you certainly don't have to read them.

I call into question any kind of 'positivity' that can't handle negativity. There's no yin without yang. I'd call the kind of psuedo-positivity you're extolling more akin to head in the sand thinking than genuine good will and good feeling.

Anything real doesn't need to be defended. And you won't feel defensive about something if you feel confident about it. The simple fact that you're upset by 'negativity' strongly indicates that your positivity isn't so positive.

I also fail to see the "positivity" in trying to dictate what someone else is what allowed and not allowed to talk about. It's interesting how often a thread on the adverse effects draws ad hominem commentary, "diagnoses," mind-reading and attempts to suppress the conversation. I've seen psych professionals do the exact same thing, like they're terrified to discuss negative outcome. That's even more reason for consumers to discuss it.

Yes, misbella. It's actually very disturbing how people react to this, and how little logic they bring to the table when they do try to make comments. So far we've had 'if you don't like it, quit' and 'this is too negative' (which of course, attempts to shut the conversation down.)

Both of those responses are not at all supportive to someone who has dedicated years to therapy and been hurt. Both of them are extremely invalidating, and I would say, protective of a certain kind of agenda.

Of course if you accuse anyone of trying to control or shut down the conversation, that brings outraged 'I never said you shouldn't talk about anything!' comments, because the atmosphere here is conducive to keeping aggression very passive, and making biting remarks which are simultaneously entirely deniable. That's what happens when you make 'positivity' the only goal. It just means that negativity staples a smile on and goes around being even more destructive than it otherwise would be.

It seems to me that the biggest sin is to question therapy. There's no problem talking about how your therapist hurts you. Or yells at you. Or swears at you. Or that you are missing your therapist so much your life is falling apart, or how a bad session causes you to go to destructive coping behaviors. Or how seeing any evidence that your therapist has a family sends you into a tailspin. That's all fine. (And counts as 'positive' apparently, because I've seen numerous threads on those topics where nobody popped in to say how shameful it was that the discussion was taking place.)

What's apparently not fine, is questioning the therapy itself. Apparently that's the grand taboo. The subject which must not be broached. And apparently, it's so unthinkable that people can't just ignore this thread and move on to something more relevant to their interests.

It baffles me that it's okay to have therapy put you into a mindset where you are completely dependent on a person you have to pay. It's acceptable to be so enmeshed and attached that functioning without them becomes an impossibility. It's praised, even as 'good attachment'. But the moment people suffer the ill-effects of having that entirely financially based support ripped away, they become the enemy. Because apparently, nobody wants to admit that not only do they know very well about the little man behind the curtain, but they're paying good money to make sure the curtain stays up.

And, as I've said before, if this is real. If therapy works. If therapists really care and if the process really cures, then who cares what we have to say about it? It won't stop working just because we don't believe. Therapists aren't Tinkerbell. They won't all disappear in a puff of logic because some people don't agree with their methodology.

I didn't think it would happen to me either... Until it did.

So many of these posts make me feel sad and weird and uncomfortable... The worst part is that level of dependency is considered "healthy." Scary.

I also don't get why it's okay to criticize meds but not therapy. This feels like a religion.

Not just healthy, but a sign of progress. I think the underlying fallacy of therapy is that you need to go back through each and every one of your early traumas, relive it and feel terrible about it to 'understand' yourself now.

Feeling worse is hailed as something positive. Feeling attached (to a point where you imagine the therapist as a parent or lover and become upset if that illusion is disturbed) is even hailed as something positive.

I think it's a process which manufactures victims. I have left therapy sessions feeling terrible about things, which in all likelihood, never even happened.

There is undoubtedly power in therapy. I am just not convinced that it is used for much more than the creation of financial peons who tithe weekly to sit at the altar of 'the one person who understands'. When, in reality, they're not the one person who understands. There are thousands of people who understand. Many of them are on this forum.

There are lots of people here who know what it was like to be hurt. There are lots of people here who *do* genuinely care about one another. Not a single person here is paid to post. I've seen expressions of genuine support and love and care be flooded upon people, who then turn around and still insist that what they really need can only come from a therapist.

Apparently, it only counts when you go into the little office and you pays your monies and you confide in your therapist. Apparently, it only counts when you're wrapped up in what amounts to a fantasy. Because nobody can be than excited about the reality of the therapeutic relationship. It's exceptionally limited by its very nature. But people make it more than what it is, therapists call it transference, book you for years of appointments and grow rich.

It doesn't make sense to me. It really doesn't.

It's like going to relationship forum finding s thread that is called "bad relationships" where people share sad experiences of bad relationships and say "why are you so negative? My and many people's relationships are just great. Be more positive". Lol Then either don't go to those threads or start your own called "good relationships".

People want to share painful stories and advice each other in that regards on threads that are dedicated to that specific topic and are titled accordingly

As long as it is in the right forum and is not violating guidelines then what's wrong with that? Right?

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For me the hard part about negative posts is that I work very hard to trust my T so we can work together. I don't have attachment, I don't get involved in an unhealthy way, I get that therapy is all it is but I want to try very hard in therapy. Negative posts plant seeds of doubt. Maybe I shouldn't trust, maybe I'll get hurt, maybe I'm being taken for a huge ride. It ultimately makes ttrusting and the therapy process harder.

But I'm an adult and I can choose to go on this forum or come into these threads or not. It gives me a bad feeling when all therapy is portrayed as bad and I have to remember to judge what I know off my experience and not others. Then again it gives me a good feeling to know my T is not like some of those terrible ones out there.

Wow. You completely twisted and misconstrued what I am saying and went on to call my thinking "pseudo-positivity" and claim I am "sticking my head in the sand." You don't know me from Adam, and you comments continue to be absolutist and insulting. THAT is the kind of negativity I have a problem with. But you don't at all get that.

I just resent the implication I'm a poor fool for believing what my T says. Then I remember it's the Internet and get on with life, but I bet that's why some get defensive.

Thank you for this, lolagrace. I've come to see these boards at times for some as a platform to practice their persuasive writing techniques for high school and college freshman English and philosophy courses.

I too, had four "dumps" by the psych profession (those behind the iron curtain shut me down from speaking about them here). I wanted to look at my part in it, and how I could have done somethings differently or used other alternatives. And, it's not to say that these professionals weren't jerks.

Thanks Jane for this post.

I had the negative seeds about therapy before I started and terminated my most successful round of therapy. I used these forum post arguments in therapy to add fuel to the fires that therapy would not work for me. This thread's argument would have been right up there with the others. All the stuff people are complaining about that went to hell in a hand basket for them I accused my therapist of doing or planning to do. I had my army, an unknown faceless group of people. She actually agreed that there are tons of bad therapist in her field and the schools are churning out more bad therapist by the boat loads. But, she said she could only do what she does, and it comes down to trust. Do I trust a group of unknown faceless people or do I trust her? (For many it is much easier to trust those on the Internet). I took the chance and trusted her, even though I would still bring in my army, especially when I tried to post my journey which was mostly positive, but minions would rip into her techniques. The doubts became more magnified. She made it clear I did not need to defend her. I'm grateful I'm done. And, I am more grateful she helped me to learn when something is not good for me It is okay to walk away.

I think people should be able to come here and share whatever therapy experience they have had, good or bad. I also think discussing issues like this is good too. It's good to get these things out in the open (I think). I don't think anyone on either side should be silenced or attempted to be silenced. I don't think that is what is happening here because we have a dialogue going about this. I like hearing all viewpoints. I don't like being personally attacked and judged which has happened to me here. I think as long as posts are within the guidelines then people should talk about what they feel like talking about.

I wonder sometimes if those of us who come here have perhaps deeper issues than what is mostly seen in therapy and we become more invested in it and so it has the potential to cause more harm or good than "lighter" issues? I don't know. My good therapist said he mostly sees people who want to work on things like quitting smoking or losing weight or things like that.

I think it's good to discuss all of these things as long as people don't personally attack each other.

I think I have used this forum to vent because of the deep pain and trauma caused by my ex-therapist. I left it here and didn't take it out into my "real" life. That has been helpful for me.

I don't know. I'm rambling and probably not making sense.

I've found this thread to be very interesting. I do think, and this is my own personal opinion only, that each person gets to decide for themselves whether or not therapy works for them. I totally understand that some people have had HORRIBLE experiences with therapists; they've been patronized, scammed, betrayed and terribly hurt. But that is what happened to those individuals. It isn't the whole picture. Some of us, I'm speaking of myself here, have had very positive and healing experiences in therapy. My experiences are just as valid and real as those who have had bad experiences. Just because my journey has been positive doesn't mean that I'm wearing blinders or being duped. It's real and it's positive and I'm not holding my breath waiting for it to turn ugly.

I do think, however, that talking about when therapy goes wrong is valuable and educational. I'm pretty sure that my positive experience in therapy has been because I believe in educating myself about the process, approaching it with a healthy dose of wariness and good self-confidence when it comes to knowing what works for me and what doesn't. I have NO problem speaking up and telling my therapist when I think something isn't working or they're wrong in their interpretation of my behavior/response to something. I realize that not everyone enters therapy in that frame of mind, so talking about what isn't working and one's reaction to therapy is a good thing on this forum. What isn't a good thing, in my opinion only, is when those who have had a bad experience insist that those who are pro-therapy or state that therapy has been positive for them are mistaken and on the road to crashing and burning. It's great to talk about bumps and scrapes and the bad things about therapy, but to accuse those who are engaged and happy with their experience as probably being deluded really isn't kosher, in my opinion only!

I also want to add that I do really think this thread is important. No one, on either side of the issue should be silenced about talking about their experience and in the same vein, no one's personal experience should be dissed or considered invalid or delusional. The whole thread is important and adds to the experience of being in therapy!