[ofthevalley]

How do you know it's safe to share the intimate details of our lives with a therapist.
I don't particularly care for my therapist but in order to see the doc, I need to see the therapist. I miss my old T, she was so much better. I live in constant fear that the new T will have me sent away because of the thoughts I have (nothing violent). I'm afraid of being taken away from my kids because of this illness (schizophrenia). I want so badly to be able to trust a therapist so I can get some help but I'm too afraid to open up so instead we discuss the weather for $$/hour.
I also worry my pdoc will become irritated with me and dump me because my meds aren't working as well as they should. Who wants to doctor someone that isn't getting better. I'm afraid she'll give up on me and I'll never get better.
I've been seeing the T & pdoc for a year and they still don't know everything that goes on in my head. I'm afraid of being a let down I did just type up some talking points for my next therapy appt. I hope it goes well.

[JustShakey]

Sometimes you have to take the risk. I know from experience that things can end up much worse by not sharing. I was so afraid for the longest time to share my issues for fear that my special needs child would be taken from me because I wasn't good enough to care for him. Long story short, I almost lost him, not because I shared my concerns, but because I didn't.


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[ThisWayOut]

I think the sense of safety and trust take time. If you don' particularly like your T, it is probably making it harder to open up to her. The right fit with a T makes a huge difference imo...
meds can be tricky also. not every med or combination works for everyone, so it's a lot of trial and error. I would suggest keeping your pdoc on the loop about how things really are going with the meds. she'll never know that they need to be tweaked if you tell her they are fine when they are not. it's not your fault (or anyones) that the meds don't work as you expect them to. It's just the nature of differences in biology. I would hope you rpdoc is aware of that.
you are not a let-down, you are just struggling right now.

[ragsnfeathers]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

I think the sense of safety and trust take time. If you don' particularly like your T, it is probably making it harder to open up to her. The right fit with a T makes a huge difference imo...
meds can be tricky also. not every med or combination works for everyone, so it's a lot of trial and error. I would suggest keeping your pdoc on the loop about how things really are going with the meds. she'll never know that they need to be tweaked if you tell her they are fine when they are not. it's not your fault (or anyones) that the meds don't work as you expect them to. It's just the nature of differences in biology. I would hope you rpdoc is aware of that.
you are not a let-down, you are just struggling right now.

It's possible your pdoc went into the profession for the challenge and they'd love to use and stretch their skills to do their part to help you get the most out of the meds.

[ofthevalley]

I would switch Ts in a second if I could find another pdoc. We are in very short supply here and they were literally the last place on the list the hospital gave me. Everyone else was booked solid or they didn't have a pdoc on staff. Therefore, I am stuck with what I have even though I feel no connection to my therapist. I read about all the awesome sessions some people have and I am so jealous. My last therapy appt consisted of the T telling me about her friend with cancer and her SIL that had hip surgery. It's really not a therapeutic environment.

[Soccer mom]

Maybe you could discuss your fears about opening up and perhaps the T. will say something that will make you more comfortable. That seemed to work for me.

[ofthevalley]

I'm going to try. I just typed up some talking points for my next session on Friday. I'm hoping this can turn things around because I need help not stories.

[ThisWayOut]

is that the only T affiliated with your pdoc? if the T is working for an agency, perhaps you could ask to switch to another T in the agency? Her talking abotu her own life isn't exactly therapeutic for you...
I hope talking to her about your fears helps some, and I hope she can get back into therapy mode with you.
Good luck.

[Victoria'smom]

I don't trust my T so I have word vomit when walking in. So he knows everything that he needs to Ie. Today when I walk in saying

Possible trigger:

I tried to break my arm last week, I stopped when it became numb. I may or may not have OD'd yesterday but I wont again even though I really liked it. Do the traffic camera's record everything or just at red lights? Do I really have BP?

It takes a min. of courage and gives him everything he needs to know to help. If the threat has passed then they don't react bad. Tell your T you're afraid to talk to her about your symptoms because you're SZ.

[Restin]

What helped me open up to my therapist was to ask her what kind of therapy she did. There are many types of psychotherapy. Our discussion opened up so many things I was wondering about and worried over. It's a question that doesn't start with anything too close, but helps so much to understand important therapy matters. Maybe during that, you can find out what the legal policies are in regard to your diagnosis. That would really be a barrier to anyone's ability to open up to their T.

[Ididitmyway]

What would be the worst thing that might happen if you reveal your thoughts and feelings to your therapist?

[stopdog]

I don't think a client can ever guarantee it is safe. I believe in going slowly and not risking more than I am willing to lose.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I started off with my therapist working through PTSD issues. After i talked about that stuff, one would think everything else would be open floor. There have been a time or two when I have had something to express that I didn't want to say. I wrote it down beforehand and gave it to her at the beginning. She batted around a few other topics and came back to it. It worked. I am guilty of not saying everything, but I don't necessarily think that's right. The point of going is to get help. We recently talked about whether or not I go too much (once a week or so for 2 years). It was hard for me to even talk about that. Well, we scheduled an appt for the following week at the end of the session. My point, even though i like my T, if I don't open up, I don't benefit. I'm left alone in my own head to pick up the pieces that break. A suggestion. . . Write it (I'm afraid to open up to you) down and give it to her. If she doesn't have good follow-up questions after that, find a new one.

You may have another resource. I'm a cash pay for my T and my pdoc due to restrictions on who can provide my service. My insurance company does not reimburse me for their services, but they do have case managers who can be assigned to talk to me over the phone. I had one who helped me manage on some pretty rough days before I was diagnosed. Check to see if that's an option. I only found out about it because I knew someone who was hired to work at the company that provides the service.

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

What would be the worst thing that might happen if you reveal your thoughts and feelings to your therapist?

The hospital is tops but I also worry they will kick me out of the practice for not getting well enough.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I tested my T. I started by opening up about facts. Then I opened up a little about feelings. Then I opened up about thoughts. I haven't opened up much about my past. I'm taking those topics as they come up. But I didn't just jump into the sensitive information. Each time I opened up about something, I would see how she reacted. If I was still safe and connected with her, I was willing to try more difficult topics.

But I did open up to my T (and Pdoc) that I had SI and SUI thoughts and a history of acting out on such thoughts from the start. It's is something that I have dealth with daily for the past 19 years. Everyone who is in my life knows, so if they couldn't accept it w/o overreacting, then they weren't the right fit for me. I lived with it for this long and am still here, so I feel I deserve a little bit of trust in this area.

[Ididitmyway]

I've never heard of a doctor who dumped a patient because they weren't getting better. As to the T, can you ask your pdoc to refer you to a different one if you can't connect with this one?

I understand your fears though, and I am not going to say they are entirely unfounded. I don't like to use the word "stigma" because it has become such a buzz word that people use mindlessly, but unconscious fears around diagnosis of schizophrenia in our society are pretty big and they produce stupid knee-jerk reactions that harm people more than they help.

You may want to connect with folks from Mad in America Mad In America - Science, Psychiatry & Community, Beyond Meds Beyond Meds and Hearing Voices Hearing Voices Network: Welcome.

Those are supportive online communities for people with schizophrenia and bipolar mostly. They may have some helpful information and resources for you.

LinkedIn and Twitter are good places to connect with people who struggle with the same thing you do. LinkedIn is not anonymous though, so I don't know how comfortable you feel to use it.

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

What would be the worst thing that might happen if you reveal your thoughts and feelings to your therapist?

The worst thing is that your T breaks confidentiality and goes out telling people your personal business, then they repeat your private information to others who ridicule and judge you behind your back. Believe me it is the very worst that can happen.

[magicalprince]

Originally Posted by Simmering

The worst thing is that your T breaks confidentiality and goes out telling people your personal business, then they repeat your private information to others who ridicule and judge you behind your back. Believe me it is the very worst that can happen.

I don't mean to invalidate your personal experience at all, but I feel like, at least personally, I am not interesting or influential enough for a T to even have a reason to do this, but I have worried what might happen if I became super famous... lol

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I tested my T. I started by opening up about facts. Then I opened up a little about feelings. Then I opened up about thoughts. I haven't opened up much about my past. I'm taking those topics as they come up. But I didn't just jump into the sensitive information. Each time I opened up about something, I would see how she reacted. If I was still safe and connected with her, I was willing to try more difficult topics.

I'm still in the fact stage and it's been 1 year this month that I have been seeing her. I need to get to feelings but I don't know that I can with her.

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by Simmering

The worst thing is that your T breaks confidentiality and goes out telling people your personal business, then they repeat your private information to others who ridicule and judge you behind your back. Believe me it is the very worst that can happen.

This too. I worry terribly about them making fun of me and spreading my business.

[ofthevalley]

I was sectioned by my last pdoc. It's not easy to trust again.

[Fuzzybear]

no answers, just hugs (if ok)

I haven't been sectioned, but my trust has been betrayed

[Apathy123]

It can be hard but I know for me by starting with small things, that I built up trust in my t and then it was easier to open up about bigger things.

I know this is an older thread, but it absolutely is not safe to share everything with a therapist. Giving someone the power of having knowledge of the intimate details of your life is very foolish. They can harm you greatly using that knowledge against you or using it to manipulate you.