Trust. We've been talking about it in session for a while. Sometimes I think she is more worried about it than me. I have trust issues inside of and outside of therapy.. just all over the place. lol

Lucky for me, impulsiveness is another issue. This week, after getting through some major revealing last session, I decided to impulsively trust her. So I spilled the major major thing that I have held back from every other T. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I felt like I HAD to, it felt like a need to get it out there. It was as if it was a huge presence in the room, visible only to me. It was in the way.

I told her I had to tell her something. Long silence which is okay. I like silences. They're peacefull sometimes. It took some writhing, wrestling, eye closing, heaving sighs, but I finally got it out.

I've always been afraid of not being believed. I told her that. Her first words after I was done were "I absolutely believe you."

Now everything major is out. Impulsiveness can be a good thing.

I had to turn to much lighter stuff then. We'll return to this, I know and that's okay. I can still say I don't want to talk about it if I want to or need to at that time. For now though, the monster has been identified and I don't have to try to hide, or hide from, this giagantic ogre any more.

It's like the game of "hot potato".
She's got the hot potato, now.

ECHOES

[MissCharlotte]

Wow, good for you. You must feel so relieved and unburdened. This is one of the deth/birth moments, I think. Now the birth process begins. Question, now that she has the hot potato, will she wait for you to bring it up again? Relatively early on in my therapy I spilled my guts about a lot of stuff that had been triggered due to recent family events. Some of it we have not discussed since and I think T is waiting for me to mention it again. Anyway, good job!

((((((((echoes))))))))) that is wonderful!!!!!!!!

Thank you both.

sister, I don't think she will wait for me. She makes associations to things we've talked about so I feel that now that it's out it is fair game so to speak. Or she may do what she's done before, ask me if I have an association about what we may be currently talking about.

Will have to wait and see I guess.

Echoes, that's awesome. I have done that a lot with my T, too.... I am also impulsive and will just blurt things out.... but I don't think of that as impulsive... I think of it as my unconscious ready to let something go. Because of trust. Congratulations.

thanks pinksoil

that is another way to look at it.

maybe i am mislabelling it.

i tend to tell all to anyone within earshot, but this was The Most Major Thing and I'd never shared it with another person face to face.

ECHOES

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ECHOES said:
this was The Most Major Thing and I'd never shared it with another person face to face.

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(((((ECHOES))))) that's fantastic! What a relief. How brave. Your T showed you that your trust of her was well placed.

yeah, that is great echoes :-) i'm glad that you found the courage to share and that she responded well.

[SecretGarden]

I am pleased for you Echoes. How liberating. It is now sitting out there for both of you to see and to examine. Nice to have someone to share it...know of it... maybe share the load a bit.

You are doing great.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( ECHOES ))))))))