Im a hot potato

Ive been dropped by my therapist....like a hot potato
he cancelled the second time on me today and well....decided that the timing was off and said well....sorry about your luck....
he was nice enough however to give me a number of a self injury expert...apparently this guy is so "good" he travels the country....those two talked it over without even asking about my take on the whole situation and even though this "expert" is taking no new clients...he will take me .....i wonder if my old therapist is getting some sort of commission for this..probably...i have no idea how much i will pay this "expert". And all i want to say is...well....you know....there is more to me than my self injury....so....why go to him if he can only fix one thing...and thats to physically stop it....im not even self injuring at the moment....i am in this "break" so what will it look like if i walk into his office and say...well im ok right now..but just you wait and see....it will come back....meh....it was soo hard talking to this therapist i went off the deep end...now i have to do it all over again with some stranger.....who can only help me in one area..which means im going to need someone else....on the side....people...i am not made of money here...and i cant get insurance...because if my job found out i would surely loose my job and any chances of furthering my career.....not to mention then everyone would find out about it .....because one of the people who is near the head boss is my boyfriends aunt.....dear god if they found out id be on the streets i mean they wont want me (it would explain alot of my behavior perhaps) but they wouldnt want their son mixed up with me.....im what they call in the papers...The "estranged" girlfriend...then maybe The "estranged" wife.....and well yea..sorry bout my rant....
im just scared....

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I'm angry and sorry this happened.

I think this could have happened in a much better fashion, a friendly and supportive fashion.

The good news is you do have someone that might take an interest that has appropriate skills and MAYBE this T could deal with the total you... not just the self harm. Could that be? And maybe this one will be more comfortable with you and working with you? Can you see that you were dropped... but that you have been guided to potential good things?

I am sorry though...I think it would really stink to have this happen, particularly the way it did. If you can try to look at this as this T's shortcomings rather than yours, possibly difficult, but know that this is not YOU.

And yes... keep knowing you will do well....as your signature says.
Believe it and keep it in your thoughts that you will succeed. Keep reaching.

I'm really sorry you were dropped, InACorner.

I wanted to comment on the insurance issue. I don't think your health insurance would tell your place of employment about any claims you submit. My insurance doesn't exchange information like that with my employer or boss or fellow employees. Even when I used the EAP (employee assistance plan) for my first 3 sessions of therapy, the information was not shared with my workplace.

I hope you will give him a chance. It seems like any expert on self injury would know that the only way to treat that is to address you as a whole person. Self injury is just a symptom of a person who hurts and doesn't have a better way to handle pain than through more or a different kind of pain. The therapists job is to teach you how to manage the things in your life that are causing you so much pain.

Talk to him about your concerns, and see if he is willing to help you work them out. Okay? You deserve to be able to heal, and this may be your chance. You won't know until you try it.

TC,
Rap

Hello INA.
I am sorry you were dropped without a warning, But I am also hoping that since you are going to an expert that Deals with SI, then you will hopefully get a better understanding on your SI and the other issues that you have at this time. Try to stay positive if possible, you will only know how you like the therapist and their therapies when you get there to see them for your appointment. Take care of yourself INA. Soidhonia

i wish he could have kept me on his list...i dont know ....im feeling too tired to deal with this crap

((((((((inny))))))))
all my love to ya

hes an expert
he specializes in SI
but hes still a T
check him out
see if he can travel to u seein hes so good at travelling

good luck sweetie
hope it all falls into place