my pdoc changed his phone and did not tell me

I was really upset and not feeling well so I called my pdoc’s office so I could see when he was going to be in—I wanted him to call me whenever he go into the office—he is only there 3 days a weeks or so. The same secretary always answers and she is real nice—I expect her to answer. I got one of those messages—if this is an emergency push 1, if you are a new pt push 2….refills push 3…there were like I don’t know 6 options. I got so upset—I thought I was going to get the secretary. I hung up—then I called back like 8 times before I could leave a message. Since I was upset and confused by the new phone recordings I left a real weird message—god, I hope they don’t give it to my pdoc. I am not even sure what I said, something about changing the phone being such a big change and I was confused and…I think I even said if he was going to make such a big change he should at least tell me first. Tell you the truth, I am not exactly sure what I mumbled. I just know I did not make much since and I am sure my pdoc is going to think I am nuts.

Needless to say I don’t deal well with change—any of it. I guess I was thinking—if he would change the phone and not tell me—whats he going to do next? move his office and not tell me?

I know its just a stupid phone. I don’t know, I just don’t want him to change anything and if he is I want him to tell me first.

Anybody else’s T or pdoc ever change something? Did it freak you out?

Well....yes I do have to say that these things are important. That would have ticked me off too.

When I first started this doc he had these wonderful cushy inviting chairs that a person could almost get lost in. I loved them. I think that he changed his for his back and then out of the blue... dang...another one of the chairs he had. They are nice but they are not cushy. They mean business.... He alluded to the fact that people got too comfortable in those chairs. (Wonder if someone fell asleep? :-) ) But it was actually funny how angry I got that he had done this and I let him konw it. He did not want to hear it....as it is his office and he is king of the office... but that anger lasted several weeks.

I still miss that chair... now that you mention it as I could even take off my shoes and cross my legs if I wanted to. I miss that comfort level.

He also changed offices a couple ? years ago now. He was in a cozy little house and no body was there except for him. Quaint. Now he is in a big new office building with several floors and many offices. His sub-office is a couple of lawyers that are nice enough and I am now used to it but I miss the old space. More private. This I had 4-6 weeks at least notice and I took that time to appreciate the current place and say goodbye to it. I am funny like that...even with space.

Hi DePressMe,

My T had just moved to his new office when I began seeing him. His old office was also in his house but I was not his patient then. I did know him years ago, but had sent my son to him for a brief time so the new environment didnt bother me. I think if I had to call him and I didn't hear his voice on the machine like I am accustomed to I would flip out. I would probably hang up, so you are very brave to have left any message at all.

I don't have the same relationshp with my pdoc, but I've only seen him once so that is a relationship in the making. My T is very careful to inform me of any changes in advance if possible. One day when he was sick he called me early in the morning to tell me he wasn't working that day. Actually, come to think of it he did forget to call me back to reschedule the next day but I finally called him the day after that.

Oh, we are such creatures of habit and it is so hard to change in so many ways, is't it?

Secret, I think you know how I feel about my T's chair. I finally told him how safe I felt in it and he told me he bought it with his clients in mind I would have a heart attack if it wasn't there when I walked into the room.

Oh and don't worry about the message, I would wager a guess that you were not the only one and he got plenty of them the first couple of days of his new answering system.

Cheers

Is he the only one in the office? Maybe the office "manager" changed it or something and he didn't have much warning either.

I don't like to be expecting something and have it be different and the "opposite" bugs me to; when people change something before I deal with them and then have a message "listen carefully, we've changed stuff" forever when it hasn't been changed since I've been there but I listen thinking it has :-) What really bugs me, which sounds like might be one of the problems you encountered, is when none of the options on the recorded message is what you want!

The only change that sent me into a tailspin was when his assistant cancelled one of my appointments like twice in the same week.

I was already feeling awful about other things and this sent me over! It was due to a court obligation and I cried for no reason...he has a life too right?

I'm sorry depress me. I would explore those feelings with him next session though.

DepressMe, I'm sorry the new phone message was so upsetting to you. I hate phone messages like that, no matter who has them, with all those options you have to listen through. My T just has a simple voice mail with a short message, then beep, and you leave your message. No c**p to listen through, just his voice. Which is not c**p, lol.

My T sometimes will make changes to his office, and we will talk about these in session. Sometimes if I notice something new, I will ask about it, and he has said, "I was hoping you would ask about that," and will then tell me about what is new and why it is there. We have had some good discussions. I think every object in his office is carefully considered, so if he makes a change, it has meaning for the healing environment he is trying to create. Last night in my session, I noticed he had several hand-knit blankets spread out here and there on various pieces of furniture. I just didn't want to talk about the blankets so I ignored them! I hope that wasn't rude. They seemed temporary, like they weren't going to become a permanent fixture of his space.

This is embarassing, but my T used to wear glasses, and I guess now he wears contacts or something... but the week he came in with no glasses, I was kinda pissed.... and I couldn't get used to him without them. I was sort of hoping it was a one time thing, like he accidentally stepped on them or something, and he'd be wearing them the following week... but next time, no glasses. Week after week, no glasses. I never said anything, but I still kinda want to be like, "Um, if you are going to have a session with me, could you please put your glasses back on?" I can't say anything though-- he has never commented on my physical appearance... not even when I cut 6 inches of hair off, not when I come in wearing glasses after mostly wearing contacts, not the time I wore a bikini to session... HAHAHA, just kidding, I never did that last one! So I don't want to comment on his appearance. I don't want him to think I take notice, and that I react to it. He already knows enough about how I feel about him, don't need to make it worse, lol.

edited to add: That reminds me of the time my old pdoc in NY wore a huge Cat-in-the-Hat tophat on Halloween, which my appt. happened to fall on. I did not want to give him the satisfaction that I noticed, so I calmly went through the whole session, pretending not to notice that he was wearing a four foot hat, lolol.

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pinksoil said:
he has never commented on my physical appearance... not even when I cut 6 inches of hair off

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One session my T said 'did you color your hair' and I said yes I highlighted it and he said it looked good.

His assistant has commented on my hair and nails!

I have wanted to comment on a few outfits T has worn but haven't had the nerve to do that. I do ask him every session if he is okay, doing well etc. before I start blathering...giggle

Hello DPM>
I am sorry that you got so upset about the number change for the DR. Hopefully things will get easier for you soon when you need to talk to someone at the Dr Office. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

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pinksoil said:
he has never commented on my physical appearance...

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The only thing my T has ever said was that he liked my shoes! I think he called them cool. I was wearing red Pumas that day. They are cool!

I've never commented on his appearance, but last night at my session, we had a bit of silence and I was staring into his eyes and thinking about how they were blue, and this reminded me of my dream the night before about T and we had spent a lot of time staring into each other's eyes in the dream session and I noticed strongly in the dream how blue they were. So I had this whole "T has blue eyes, just like in my dream" train of thought going, and then T says to me, "what are you thinking?" AAAAACCKKK! I said "nothing"--how original, and I probably blushed. I had already told him the dream earlier in that session, but I conveniently left out the blue eyes bit, lol. Therapy can be so complicated (and funny) sometimes!

Change is difficult for many here. If you suffer with depression and or PTSD, then change affects you even more than others. It is impossible for the T to "warn" everyone about everything. I'm sorry you got caught in the middle of the change... and hope you are feeling some better about this now. (Don't worry about the message for it will just bear out what you experienced!) (((hugs)))